Why be anal only?

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
Robert
Posts: 241
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:17 am

Re: Why?

Post by Robert » Sun Jul 06, 2014 4:02 am

mardobolo wrote: Yes! That has been our favorite position for anal for many years. (Or rather a variation where her knees are together.) It does give great deep penetration. I think it's the only position where I've gotten that magical feeling of being 100% inside, and feeling her anus at the very base of my penis.

We've recently started having anal this way too! The feeling is incredible when right up inside her. It's like the best blend of sensation, depth and easier for her as she is relaxed and open.
mardobolo wrote: My wife though has a very specific way of getting an orgasm. Her legs need to be straight, and her body needs to be pushing hard against the vibrator. It's the very firm pressure of pushing into the vibrator that gets her off. We've experimented with lots of other positions and nothing else works.

Since it's hard to get good penetration when she's straight like that (and her body is rigid; she tightens up all her core muscles), what we have always done is switched positions: She gets off, then we switch to a position that's better for me. I can see us doing the same for anal.

My girlfriend has never found orgasm easy either, though that has now changed with anal. Maybe your wife would find it better if you prolong the foreplay or just use the vibrator more on her before you start the penetration? So that she's almost there?

But we are some same after she has cum and lets me enjoy the sex in whatever position I choose. To me this is the best part and I can relax knowing she's satisfied and can just get into it for my own pleasure without any worry.


I think you're already answered your own question about why people go AO:
mardobolo wrote: We already have anal maybe a third of the time we have sex. Now that we know it gives her an intense orgasm, I think that frequency will go up quite a bit. :D Regarding AO, I would certainly prefer to go vagina-free, but only if it's something my wife would want too. Anal is just more pleasurable to me.

You know I often think in all honesty that wouldn't most men also prefer to go vagina-free? And who doesn't find anal more pleasurable?
mardobolo wrote: This is probably a separate topic, but the only downside I see right now to anal is cleanup: We both feel like we need to shower together after anal, whereas with vaginal we'll sometimes just fall asleep.

Yeah I can be bad about that and often fall asleep. My girlfriend rarely misses a trip to the bathroom afterwards.

mardobolo
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:01 pm

Re: Why?

Post by mardobolo » Sun Jul 06, 2014 1:32 pm

Robert wrote: My girlfriend has never found orgasm easy either, though that has now changed with anal. Maybe your wife would find it better if you prolong the foreplay or just use the vibrator more on her before you start the penetration? So that she's almost there?

During our over twenty years of marriage we have experimented a lot with different ways for her to get an orgasm. In our research, one thing we found that seems to describe her well is the concept of an "active pelvis". Most women can get an orgasm by passively having their clitoris manipulated. Women with an active pelvis need to be thrusting against something. This describes my wife exactly: She needs to be grinding hard against a vibrator with a very broad head. What gets her off isn't really localized attention on the clit, but more the broad pressure across the entire mons. Nothing else she's tried seems to work.

As far as foreplay goes, anal is one that gets her really horny. Especially when I leave a plug in her overnight, or when we go out to dinner together with it in. In the past what we've done is to have vaginal sex with the plug in to get her off -- the plug makes her really horny. Then I would remove it and we would finish with anal. As of a few nights ago though, I discovered she can orgasm with me in her backside. So the vaginal step might be unnecessary. :)

Looking back I think the childbearing years have something to do with us migrating more toward anal. When we were trying to conceive, vaginal sex became a very functional thing -- we were trying to have a baby. To be honest it became a bit of a chore and a source of worry. I think for us some of the appeal of AO is to put all that behind us and get back to the pleasure aspect of sex. I think you're exactly right, Robert -- for pure pleasure I think most men would rather do anal if their girlfriends were accepting of it. All of the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life have been in my wife's backside.

I'm just focused on making the entire experience pleasurable and exciting for my wife, and over time I think we will naturally migrate more and more toward anal-only sex.

Robert
Posts: 241
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:17 am

Re: Why?

Post by Robert » Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:34 am

mardobolo wrote: As far as foreplay goes, anal is one that gets her really horny. Especially when I leave a plug in her overnight, or when we go out to dinner together with it in. In the past what we've done is to have vaginal sex with the plug in to get her off -- the plug makes her really horny. Then I would remove it and we would finish with anal. As of a few nights ago though, I discovered she can orgasm with me in her backside. So the vaginal step might be unnecessary. :)

Yeah plugs have worked well for us. And we'd never considered them until recently, and not until suggested here.
mardobolo wrote: Looking back I think the childbearing years have something to do with us migrating more toward anal. When we were trying to conceive, vaginal sex became a very functional thing -- we were trying to have a baby. To be honest it became a bit of a chore and a source of worry. I think for us some of the appeal of AO is to put all that behind us and get back to the pleasure aspect of sex.

That sums up vaginal sex in a nutshell - a "chore". For me at least and I'm begining to think just maybe my girlfriend is starting to see it the same way.
mardobolo wrote: I think you're exactly right, Robert -- for pure pleasure I think most men would rather do anal if their girlfriends were accepting of it. All of the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life have been in my wife's backside.

I do wonder if its becoming the number 1 cause of arguments in the bedroom these days. It's probable that most men have now got to try anal, and how can you not want to repeat that experience when it feels so much better? And the orgasms are in a class of their own aren't they?

mardobolo wrote: I'm just focused on making the entire experience pleasurable and exciting for my wife, and over time I think we will naturally migrate more and more toward anal-only sex.

I'm hoping for the same with us as we're on the same journey.

mardobolo
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:01 pm

Re: Why?

Post by mardobolo » Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:43 pm

Robert wrote: It's probable that most men have now got to try anal, and how can you not want to repeat that experience when it feels so much better?

Actually my first anal experience was pretty so-so. I was 19 and had no idea what I was doing, and while the girl was game it ended up being uncomfortable for her. I didn't have anal sex again for another 7 years after that! I think it's important to get good information out to people, so they can make their first attempts at it fun. I think back to how much fun I could have had with that girlfriend at 19, if we'd taken the time to explore it and do it right.
Robert wrote: And the orgasms are in a class of their own aren't they?

Absolutely none better! I think I'm preaching to the choir here. :D

taylork
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2013 12:52 pm

Re: Why?

Post by taylork » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:58 pm

mardobolo wrote:
Robert wrote: It's probable that most men have now got to try anal, and how can you not want to repeat that experience when it feels so much better?

Actually my first anal experience was pretty so-so. I was 19 and had no idea what I was doing, and while the girl was game it ended up being uncomfortable for her. I didn't have anal sex again for another 7 years after that! I think it's important to get good information out to people, so they can make their first attempts at it fun. I think back to how much fun I could have had with that girlfriend at 19, if we'd taken the time to explore it and do it right.
Robert wrote: And the orgasms are in a class of their own aren't they?

Absolutely none better! I think I'm preaching to the choir here. :D

Thats because its a better natural fit for a guy than a vagina. Think about it, one of the things a guy wants most is to be gripped real tight round the base of his cock but a vagina doesn't do that. Also there are things like the valves that stimulate the head plus way more muscles than the simple vagina which can only do a simple squeeze.

Robert
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:17 am

Re: Why?

Post by Robert » Tue Jul 15, 2014 4:31 pm

taylork wrote: Thats because its a better natural fit for a guy than a vagina.

I guess you're talking internally. I agree, but the same could be said for how the two of you fit together externally. I don't know about anyone else but vaginal penetration has always felt more awkward than anal, whatever the position.
taylork wrote: Think about it, one of the things a guy wants most is to be gripped real tight round the base of his cock but a vagina doesn't do that. Also there are things like the valves that stimulate the head plus way more muscles than the simple vagina which can only do a simple squeeze.

Yes, it doesn't grip in the places you'd want it too. Neither does she have the same control (at least my girlfriend).

mardobolo
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:01 pm

Re: Why?

Post by mardobolo » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:14 pm

Robert wrote:
taylork wrote: Think about it, one of the things a guy wants most is to be gripped real tight round the base of his cock but a vagina doesn't do that. Also there are things like the valves that stimulate the head plus way more muscles than the simple vagina which can only do a simple squeeze.

Yes, it doesn't grip in the places you'd want it too. Neither does she have the same control (at least my girlfriend).

Absolutely anal feels better in every way, I completely agree. That is one of the big draws. Also as a woman gets older and especially after she has children, the vagina loosens up a lot. Even though my wife and I are in our 40s, her ass feels better than her pussy did at 19. :D

marcus
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Location: UK

Re: Why?

Post by marcus » Thu Jul 17, 2014 6:08 am

mardobolo wrote: Absolutely anal feels better in every way, I completely agree. That is one of the big draws. Also as a woman gets older and especially after she has children, the vagina loosens up a lot. Even though my wife and I are in our 40s, her ass feels better than her pussy did at 19. :D

I can vouch for that! Perhaps it's one of the reasons many older couples turn to AO after starting a family, though I think my wife and I would have ended up doing so anyway.

killer
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Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:02 pm

Re: Why?

Post by killer » Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:55 am

I'm hoping it becomes part of my D/s partnership. It's heading in that direction, for sure. I can become very aroused from anal, and sometimes I can come. Sometimes is enough - I'm also very much a fan of orgasm denial (bleh, I don't like that term, I've really just refocused on pleasure from arousal as opposed to release.) That bit isn't a D/s thing, though, that's just how I enjoy sex.

Anyway, for me, vaginal sex makes me come too easily, which makes the orgasms less intense and therefore less enjoyable. And given that he likes anal better, that's what we've been doing. Vaginal is still on the table, at this point, but only as an option if he chooses it, and so far he hasn't.

Robert
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:17 am

Re: Why?

Post by Robert » Fri Jul 25, 2014 3:56 pm

killer wrote: Anyway, for me, vaginal sex makes me come too easily, which makes the orgasms less intense and therefore less enjoyable. And given that he likes anal better, that's what we've been doing. Vaginal is still on the table, at this point, but only as an option if he chooses it, and so far he hasn't.

That's like the opposite of my gf who can't orgasm at all from just vaginal.

He's a lucky guy though. I wouldn't choose vaginal either but I guess we aren't as far along as you two are yet, but we're working on it.

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