Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

For discussion of topics not specifically relating to anal sex or the anal only lifestyle.
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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by Buttwoman » Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:45 am

65andfree- There is such a huge social stigma about accepting money for sex. People want to be able to label, and pigeon hole everything, and that gets one of the really nasty labels. It's total irony, we give away a little, and we are 'normal'. We give away too much, we're 'easy'. We charge for the same product and we are whores. I personally believe we have free will, and can do whatever we want.
When I was about 20, a little drunk one night I ended up in the apartment of a much older man (LOL, he was maybe 30). He asked me if I wanted to fuck, and I said 'no'. He pulled out his wallet, and counted, then said 'I'll give you $60 for me to fuck you.' In university, $60 bucks was a LOT of money, and I was still a little drunk. At that point I was not AO, but anal preferred. Anal was catching on at among the woman students, as a method of contraception, and to have sex during our periods. It still wasn't by any means popular, and condoms were not yet mandatory. I said I didn't have any kind of protection, but he could fuck my ass. I have never seen such a look of bewilderment, and excitement at the same time. He handed me some bills, which I didn't count, and I shoved them in my bag.
We fucked. Alcohol, and the years have blurred wether it was any good or not.
I woke up in my dorm the next morning, a little hazy about the last nights events. I went to the bathroom, and the state of my panties told me I had had anal the night before. It dawned on me. I had fucked a stranger. Bad. Then I remembered something else. I looked in my purse, and found $60 crumpled up. I had charged him for it! Worse. A pang of guilt ran over me like a big shiver. Oh god, what had I done? Sex for money was worse than...no, nothing is worse. For a whole day I walked around sure I was going to throw up. I had already given up sex, and drinking in my mind.
That night I went back to the bar, certain I would find this guy, and give him back his money. Somehow it would all be better if I returned it. Not there.
I took me two weeks to stop feeling like a total tramp, and to regain my esteem a bit.
Post script- Twenty years later a guy approached me in a bar. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I didn't. He offered to pay me.
I poured a whole fresh pint of beer on his crotch.

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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by Haunter » Sun Apr 09, 2017 8:01 am

To 65andFree and Buttwoman, thank you for your precious stories and contributions to the development of the thread, they're very appreciated :)

I heave two comments righ here sparkling from my mind:

•I beg no one expected from me such a claim, especially after my explicit personal view expressed in this thread, but I tell you I can look at the practice of offering sex in exchange of money as acceptable. I would NEVER do nor engage such a deal, but I recognize the "art" in doing so, if one is conscious of what he/she is doing. It's a free move one does. Either part will know from the beginning that it's just for money, ok, but if they agree then it's fine. And I think one giver could either consider him/her self an artist if he/she did his job with passion. I think there should be nothing negative about behaving like a "whore". It has become n insult, but to me it just expresses a way of being other should respect. The only cases I criticize are those in which at least one of the parts is not honest but cheats about her/his purposes and feelings. That would be a huge moral crime, to me. Not the selling itself.

•It should be more appropriate in other threads I guess, but anyway looks good here: Buttwoman mentioned as a detail in her telling "approached me in a bar...". Well, you might laugh,but I see such a widespread human practice is totally stranger to my direct or indirect experience... How does it work? To say, I would be discouraged by walking through the room to a stranger and being explicit on certain things... I really miss the whole human instincts about all this stuff. I will be all ears if you tell your wisdom here :D
Think, it's free ;-)

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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by Buttwoman » Sun Apr 09, 2017 9:44 am

Haunter- for thousands of years the prostitute was an important and integral part of society. Although vieled in shadows, everybody knew they were there, used them, and even revered them.
Things turned very bad for the profession with the proliferation of addictive drugs. The 'crack whore' made the whole business disgusting, seedy, and dangerous. HIV became rampant.
The notion of the 'hooker with a heart of gold' dissapeared, and hookers became the very bottom of society's totem pole.
Sure, there are high class prostitutes, and respectable places of business, and organized crime has always had a hand in it, but the image of the sex trade is forever tarnished

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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by AnnoMundi » Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:38 am

I think it was always bad for prostitutes. There may not have been addictive drugs in the 18th and 19th centuries, but diseases like syphilis were rampant amongst these women. Nobody seemed to care for them and their offspring. There's a reason why Jack the Ripper could do his horrible crimes for so long, as nobody cared what happened to prostitutes.

Ultimately how well you did as a prostitute depended on class. The king's royal mistress was basically a de facto official court position and could hold her own court, as people vied for her ears as she had the king's. Go lower down the food chain and things got worse. In the end most chose this profession because they had few options. Certainly not to pay your way through college.

As for the OP, it's all about the emotional connection for me. The idea of no strings attached sex is just not for me.

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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by minorkeyes » Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:31 pm

Absolutely not necessary.

Sex is a physical act. Plain and simple. Emotion is an aspect we attach to sex. Provided the need of libido is fulfilled, there is no need to have any emotional investment in sexual partners. It can be nice, enhance the experience, but required at all.

I have had sex with total strangers and climaxed just as hard as with those I deeply love. Love is different from sex, we often have sex with those we love and thus the two are often confused.

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Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?

Post by Jecampbell » Sun Feb 09, 2020 7:30 am

Kind of, My wife and I are swingers. But she only lets me in her ass. She says it only belongs to me. lol. Anyways, I have a hard time having an orgasm when I’m with another woman, unless I’ve been with her a few times. I usually have to finish with my wife, I don’t know why that is, I love being able to please women multiple times, I don’t know if it’s because of not having an emotional connection? Or its because of using a condom when I’m with another woman? Obviously I don’t need one when I’m with my wife.

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