Re: Emotional involvement: is it necessary?
Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:45 am
65andfree- There is such a huge social stigma about accepting money for sex. People want to be able to label, and pigeon hole everything, and that gets one of the really nasty labels. It's total irony, we give away a little, and we are 'normal'. We give away too much, we're 'easy'. We charge for the same product and we are whores. I personally believe we have free will, and can do whatever we want.
When I was about 20, a little drunk one night I ended up in the apartment of a much older man (LOL, he was maybe 30). He asked me if I wanted to fuck, and I said 'no'. He pulled out his wallet, and counted, then said 'I'll give you $60 for me to fuck you.' In university, $60 bucks was a LOT of money, and I was still a little drunk. At that point I was not AO, but anal preferred. Anal was catching on at among the woman students, as a method of contraception, and to have sex during our periods. It still wasn't by any means popular, and condoms were not yet mandatory. I said I didn't have any kind of protection, but he could fuck my ass. I have never seen such a look of bewilderment, and excitement at the same time. He handed me some bills, which I didn't count, and I shoved them in my bag.
We fucked. Alcohol, and the years have blurred wether it was any good or not.
I woke up in my dorm the next morning, a little hazy about the last nights events. I went to the bathroom, and the state of my panties told me I had had anal the night before. It dawned on me. I had fucked a stranger. Bad. Then I remembered something else. I looked in my purse, and found $60 crumpled up. I had charged him for it! Worse. A pang of guilt ran over me like a big shiver. Oh god, what had I done? Sex for money was worse than...no, nothing is worse. For a whole day I walked around sure I was going to throw up. I had already given up sex, and drinking in my mind.
That night I went back to the bar, certain I would find this guy, and give him back his money. Somehow it would all be better if I returned it. Not there.
I took me two weeks to stop feeling like a total tramp, and to regain my esteem a bit.
Post script- Twenty years later a guy approached me in a bar. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I didn't. He offered to pay me.
I poured a whole fresh pint of beer on his crotch.
When I was about 20, a little drunk one night I ended up in the apartment of a much older man (LOL, he was maybe 30). He asked me if I wanted to fuck, and I said 'no'. He pulled out his wallet, and counted, then said 'I'll give you $60 for me to fuck you.' In university, $60 bucks was a LOT of money, and I was still a little drunk. At that point I was not AO, but anal preferred. Anal was catching on at among the woman students, as a method of contraception, and to have sex during our periods. It still wasn't by any means popular, and condoms were not yet mandatory. I said I didn't have any kind of protection, but he could fuck my ass. I have never seen such a look of bewilderment, and excitement at the same time. He handed me some bills, which I didn't count, and I shoved them in my bag.
We fucked. Alcohol, and the years have blurred wether it was any good or not.
I woke up in my dorm the next morning, a little hazy about the last nights events. I went to the bathroom, and the state of my panties told me I had had anal the night before. It dawned on me. I had fucked a stranger. Bad. Then I remembered something else. I looked in my purse, and found $60 crumpled up. I had charged him for it! Worse. A pang of guilt ran over me like a big shiver. Oh god, what had I done? Sex for money was worse than...no, nothing is worse. For a whole day I walked around sure I was going to throw up. I had already given up sex, and drinking in my mind.
That night I went back to the bar, certain I would find this guy, and give him back his money. Somehow it would all be better if I returned it. Not there.
I took me two weeks to stop feeling like a total tramp, and to regain my esteem a bit.
Post script- Twenty years later a guy approached me in a bar. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I didn't. He offered to pay me.
I poured a whole fresh pint of beer on his crotch.