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Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:43 pm
by Haunter
Here I come, as promised...

After I mentioned in my introductory presentation, in my vision of Love, Jealousy is something Nonsense. Here I quote myself:

Now I've changed my point of view at the root. In fact now in my opinion love should be a network of bounds between two people each, without any constraint and where Jealously is completely to be abolished, in fact I think it is completely nonsense: if my partner is willing to couple with another man or woman she likes, then the only feeling filling me should be happiness for her, and nothing else. Freedom and sincerity would be fundamental values as well.

I respect monogamy but think that, likewise mentioned above, love would be better if it were more free, therefore with no fixed couples. It would be a revolution, I know, and maybe many of you don't agree with me from the start, but I would be VERY CURIOUS to read your thoughts here. Please let me know them :-)

Re: Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:15 pm
by DanishCouple
In my opinion, playing with feelings is dangerous and unpredictable, but that doesn't mean that monogamy is mandatory for us. We both have a kink that involves having sex with other people, although we haven't done it in real life yet, but when we do, we won't allow any feelings stronger than sexual chemistry, sympathy and friendship in extramarital relationships - it must be sex for fun, nothing else. This is not as easy as it sounds, and it takes a very strong and very honest relationship with perfect communication skills to be able to do it safely. But no matter what, we will still be playing with fire, and we risk to get burned.

By the way - referring to the main subject of this website - my wife doesn't want to have anal sex with other men, only with me. She wants it to be our special thing.

Re: Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2016 7:53 pm
by yosemitesspam
There are two kinds of jealousy. One kind just needs to be hit over the head--the one that says, "x left me and he/she/whatever isn't going to be with anyone else if I can help it."

The other kind is protective, like a good husband or wife rising up to protect their marriage against someone who threatens it. That kind, we need more of.



Re: Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:54 pm
by MissChief
Polyamory is definitely not for me. People can do whatever they want to do but I don't like to share. Maybe that sounds possessive or creepy? I just really like the trust and commitment of a monogamous relationship and the idea of somebody else completing you so much that you don't need or want anyone else.

Re: Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 4:09 pm
by FarmerDan
I think people who don't know any better confuse polyamory with promiscuity.

Polyamory is not a licence to have sex with anyone you come across, it's almost the reverse. It means having a meaningful relationship with two or more other people at the same time.

Now, maintaining a good relationship with one other person is a big challenge for most of us. For each person you add the degree of difficulty goes up exponentially. Every tiny facet has to be planned, discussed, consented to, and executed exactly according to the plan. For example, you may be required to forgo oral (or anal) sex with one partner in order to gain the approval of the other.

The few individuals I've come across who have made this work have colossal respect and admiration for each other.

On the other hand if you get your partner's approval to fuck anybody at any time you can be pretty sure they're going to be an ex partner before long.

Re: Is monogamy mandatory? (Alias: Jealousy is Nonsense)

Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2021 1:13 pm
by FMF
As an analogy: Does a mother love her first child any less when a second (or later) child is born?

Does a mother demand one child act EXACTLY as his or her older sibling?

As a mother, and then a grandmother, I did not.

I have loved, and been loved by the same select group of people for decades. It's wonderful.

Arbitrary boxes pigeonhole and limit us.