Approaching the topic with a new relationship

General discussion of the anal only lifestyle. If it doesn't fit elsewhere or isn't a personal comment or question, it probably goes here.
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CherryCooper00
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Approaching the topic with a new relationship

Post by CherryCooper00 » Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:34 am

I only posted a couple of times on here. The school year had me really busy, and I admit I was trying to focus on some real world stuff. For those who are curious about me, you can read my little bit of introduction as my personal situation is either a rom-com or greek tragedy.

I'm very new to dating. But I met someone back around Halloween. And we have gone on a couple of dates. We're both students of our schedules don't know what is Meetup the best, but I haven't been seeing anyone else another as a as far as I know. He knows that I am a virgin. And finding a college guy that's not slightly terrified of that fact is actually an impressive feat, but I don't know how to go about bringing up the subject of wanting to have anal sex with him. It's the only kind of sex I can have , outside of oral ofcourse. I just don't know how to approach the situation. I don't know if I need to tell him now about my personal situation, if I wait, if I just pretend that it's not a big deal...

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analsexonly
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Re: Approaching the topic with a new relationship

Post by analsexonly » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:36 am

@CherryCooper00 Congrats on getting this far and finding a guy who isn't intimidated by you or the fact that you're a virgin, that's a good sign so far!

I'd suggest going slow, but being honest. When the two of you are ready for sex, start talking about it and tell him that you only want to do anal. Depending on his reaction to that, you can either just say that it's what you like or prefer, or if he's enthusiastic about the idea and understanding, you could tell him about your condition and that it makes vaginal sex impossible for you, so you're an anal only girl.

I know it can be scary to open up about things like this and fearing rejection when being vulnerable in this way is a common fear (which everyone faces, regardless of circumstances), but just think of it this way: if a guy rejects you for revealing who you really are and how you want to/need to have sex, then he's not a guy you want to be with or have sex with anyway. And if you want to have sex with a guy, you have to open up to him in that way, so you might as well give it a shot. Personally, if a girl told me that she could only have anal sex and could never have vaginal, I would be overjoyed and would find that the sexiest, hottest thing ever.

CherryCooper00
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Re: Approaching the topic with a new relationship

Post by CherryCooper00 » Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:37 pm

I know it shouldn't be as big a deal as it is, i just... i like him. Its that stupid puppy love stuff that means he practically walks on water in my eyes. I just want to be perfect for him. And part of this, a big part is probably issues with my own body image and self esteem. I know its bs, i know its not true, but this is just what enters my brain.

-Im inferior, i don't have what other women have, so that must mean i don't deserve what other women get, whether thats getting to be a mom or a happy sex life-

Like i said, i know its BS, but if it were that easy to point out the BS in our feelings and thoughts, shrinks would be so out of a job...

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Re: Approaching the topic with a new relationship

Post by analsexonly » Sun Dec 29, 2019 11:11 am

I can understand feeling that way. But you are who you are and you need what you need, too. And believe me, there are guys for whom your natural anal only status will be their idea of perfect. Will that be true for this particular guy? There's only one way to find out.

You're not at all inferior. You're amazing. You may not have a vagina that can be used for sex, but that does not make you inferior. Different, yes. Inferior, no. For some guys, better. You deserve love, you deserve a loving partner, and you deserve an amazing anal only sex life.

I completely empathize with and can relate to self esteem issues, and I acknowledge that it's easy to say something to someone else online and much harder to actually do it, when I struggle with the same issues myself, but the best we can do is try to encourage and build each other up and give each other the confidence to do and pursue the things in life that we want. In that, I wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing what happens, and am always happy to provide more advice or encouragement as desired.

katheleen
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Re: Approaching the topic with a new relationship

Post by katheleen » Tue Jan 28, 2020 10:27 am

I would advise you just be yourself, don't worry. Just offer him a drink and do something unusual. Believe me, he is also afraid you, use this. Many guys dream of having anal sex. I found this article for you https://www.happymatches.com/blog/onlin ... date-tips/

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