There are many layers to being human. Layers like energy management, temperature control, being part of society... One of those layers is being sexual. Being "sexual" means so many different things, it's hard for me to even use that term. Sex. You can never be sure what you are actually saying when you are talking about sex. It's something so deeply rooted in our soul, mind and body and constructed by many different experiences ranging from our earliest memories to thoughts you probably just had minutes or seconds ago. When I think of "sex", I think of how I sucked my neighbors dick, and liking it, when I was 7 years old. I think of how I held a former girlfriend down and fucked her, used her as a toy just to give me pleasure or how my fiance fucks me in the ass and what that does to me... And I think of how deeply crazy and beautiful it is that a man and a woman can come together, become one, mix their essences, and create a new human being.
We all have physical sexual parts on our bodies and ~99.8% of us have strictly male or female body parts. But then there is our soul and mind where we create an image of ourselves based on our life experiences and from that, an image we create when we go out into the world and present ourselves to other people. How does sucking dick at 7 influence that image? Or how does the love of a father? Being raped? One can only wonder... In the end, even though we all have the same vaginas and penises, we are all very different and at some point, I'd guess around ~20 years old, comparing two human beings with completely different experiences loses all meaning anyway. It's fascinating to watch highly creative and successful people like musicians when it comes to sex, gender and how they present themselves. Think of people like Prince, Mick Jagger or Lady Gaga. On stage they sometimes seem to embody all that is female and all that is male into one being. Physically male but singing higher than most women, having very masculine faces but wearing female make up etc. What's that all about? Do they become an embodiment of all human beings in a society, physically moving the air with their voices and touching souls, singing about what we all think, being what we all are? No wonder we worship them. Or maybe, they are just trans...
I was always fascinated by women. It's something, I as a man, can never truly experience or understand. What do we do when we want to understand something that we are not? Even when we are little kids who want to be like grown ups, we just play the part! They play making dinner, going to work, building things, making themselves pretty. It's the closest thing we have to become something we cannot be at the moment, or maybe ever. Walking around in society as a man playing a woman, that's way too complicated for me. But I think I got a glimpse of what it must mean being a woman when it comes to "sex" by being anal only. We all have a different interpretation of what "anal only" means of course, so for me, at the moment, it's only penetrating the ass of my (soon to be) wife (except on her fertile days), only masturbating anally (no penis touching) and getting fucked in the ass from time to time. And especially that last part... Getting fucked hard is a truly unique experience. When it kinda feels good and kinda hurts at first but all you can do is embrace it and let go and let yourself be taken, in a loving way of course. Strikes something deep inside and makes you go crazy until you cum. I'm truly grateful that I get to experience that. Closest thing I get to being a woman, I think, and really helps me go out there and be a man.
