For years before we met, I fantasize about being someone's little anal slut and having my pussy ignored completely. That doesn't seem like an option right now but does anyone have advice on convincing him to try this for more than just a few days?
I am sorry about your current situation and can understand your frustration. I will tell a story that is a bit embarrassing from several years back and hopefully it will give you ideas. I dated a woman and we finally got to sex. She wanted anal. I had some experience and knew that I could hurt her if I took the lead. I am not porn star huge, but more endowed than most men and many women underestimate what they are dealing with when having first time sex with me. I try to go slow with lots of lube but almost always I regret not letting them get on top first. This time I started correctly and let her get on top. She really seemed to like it but at one point needed to change to her pussy. So I went along with it. After a while she said I could go back to her ass, but the friction was higher in her pussy and I decided to stay there. I wound up regretting that. She did not return calls and I quickly moved on. The reality is that most of my fantasizing is about anal, but it takes time for me to get off if I am not used to the woman. Most former girlfriends complain that I do not get off fast enough no matter what sex I have for the first month or so. Some girlfriends did not care if they got me off and eventually I would be the one to leave; another thing I am embarrassed to say. If you are getting him off with your anal then it may be hard to keep him interested. The film director John Waters once talked about how if you know what someone is thinking while they are masturbating, you know their ultimate fantasy. It is much like what Chris Rock jokes about when he says, “Just because you made him cum, doesn’t mean he came.” He goes on to say there is cum and there is “free at last” because you gave him exactly what he wanted. The best thing you can do is make him cum when he is in your ass but it may be impossible to convert him if he has a different ultimate fantasy. The other issue that has been referred to in other posts is the friction. If you need clitoral stimulation for you to get off, it may be harder for him to get off due to anus dilation. You may have to look into some of what is written in these forms about getting an anal orgasm, which is said to be more intense. I understand that for many women, this is easier said than done. You also may need clitoral stimulation just to get him in, something I can relate to with my size. Not to sound trite, but do your best to communicate with him. I am currently with a fine woman that I must make concessions with but we still find ways to give each other what we want. Best of luck in the journey. At least you can find some solace in the fact that most men reading this wish they had a woman who thinks and feels the way you do.
He does enjoy anal very much and cums from it every time. He never met a woman that actually enjoyed it and asked for it before me. Apparently the few that would try it would be "ow that hurts" almost immediately and that was that. He's average and believes in taking his time and using lube so the problem was definitely not on him. He's amazing!
He's addicted to my pussy though and I get it. I love sex all around. While I still hope that someday he'll decide to give this a try, ultimately it's about me pleasing my partner and making sure his needs are met.
I might have to try your idea and see what happens
Just hit 40 and I am dying inside, honestly thinking to divorce. Not even about the anal, our sex is as shit as it comes, pretty much another chore on her to do list but I take what I can get. Stupid loyal, never messed up.
Life is too short to be with a partner that doesn't match your kinkiness... seriously. I should have broke it off years ago:( I have no idea why I am still in this relationship.
As a bonus, during Covid lockdown last year, I wanted to see how long it will go by without sex. Both stuck working from home, 2 months went by, got blue balls, I grab her in the kitchen, we have sex once, she is pregnant and now we have twin girls. Amazing little things, but all I can think of is how fucked up my life is now, I am trapped forever. Last time I had sex was... last year when she got pregnant... I think it will be another 5 years before I get anything.
Can someone get depressed and have health problems from sexual frustration and repression?
P.S. Sorry to hijack the post... just saying, if you ain't getting what you want.... gonna be 10 years later and you will hate every minute of it.
Weird thing is that she can be really crazy when she wants to... only when she wants something. This happened maybe 3 4 times in 15 years. I guess I gave her everything she wanted, so no need to do anything. Financially secured, mortgage free, got her her career, now 2 kids... I could disappear now.
I was married for 19 years and never had the sex life I dreamed. The lowest point was when we were writing on the calendar when we had sex.
I was using it to point her that too many days had passed and she was using it to say "it is too early".
She didn't like blowjobs, neither anal. I was received blowjobs semi-annualy and anal sex once a year. Few times, I was doing the math on how many times I will fuck an ass until I'm 60.
I divorced in summer 2019.I lived my whole life feeliing that blowjobs and anal are bad and everytime I was receiving one, I was feeling guilty.
Fast forward to today (where I have a new fantastic relationship).
I never count, how many times I have sex during the week, because I don't know and I don't care. I'm always satisfied. Yesterday, I had 3 orgasms, 2 from deepthroat blowjobs and one from anal and the best thing is that she LOVES deepthroat and anal! There are times that i have more anal than vaginal. Never thought it would happen!
It took me some time to really rexal and believe that INDEED she likes it. Same for her, to truly relax and enjoy my love for cunnilingus!
What I want to say is that you don't need to spend your life with someone you are not compatible. I was asking my ex-wife all the time for sex and felt extreme pressure from me. It was bad for me and bad for her.
I'm happy to have met a partner who is having the same urges like me.