Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

General discussion of the anal only lifestyle. If it doesn't fit elsewhere or isn't a personal comment or question, it probably goes here.
Colt1911
Posts: 105
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 4:48 am
Gender: Male

Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Colt1911 » Thu Jun 16, 2022 7:05 am

Rimmer wrote:
Thu Jun 16, 2022 1:21 am
You certainly can become obsessed with anal. It’s like getting a long run of anal, having vaginal seems to spoil the run. My wife, who when we met hadn’t had and didn’t like the idea of anal, eventually asked if I wanted to go AO. I would have said we then became 80-90% AO for three or four years, but I have been thinking lately about this and really, we were 95-99% AO. Several years into our marriage, she discovered that she wanted to be submissive (she later discovered she was a ‘Brat’ and a ‘switch’, terms we had not heard of until we looked into our relationship and found others were like this and there were names for things). And I guess AO was a dominance thing, though my love of anal did not stem from that, that happened earlier as a young teenager. When she asked if I wanted to exclusively use her ass, it was like ‘coming out’ and felt great. As far as your pussy being loose or looser than your ass. We have actually started having more vaginal sex because my wife’s pussy has become looser, go figure? We got into fisting, her vagina was not getting used, only by dildos, so we started fisting. A few months in we decided to have vaginal sex, just to see if she did in fact feel looser, it felt great for both of us. The contrast between her tight ass hole and her loose (looser) pussy gives two great sensation options. When her pussy was tighter, I just preferred her ass. It is funny that we started fisting because my dick was not gong in her pussy, hardly, and so it didn’t matter one jot if she got stretched out; but now we both love the feel. I guess we are currently an anal couple who have quite a bit of vaginal sex, like a vaginal couple who have started having more anal sex. Have you ever gone ass to pussy? Some people find they can do it with no consequence, we have done it many times with no bother – first by accident, and then when there was no harm we tried on purpose and still no harm (infection) some here have said they can do it and others have said they get in infection, must be down to body chemistry. It’s maybe a bit of a crazy thing to suggest, but what if he was taking you anally and you invited him straight into you pussy, might that tempt him back into your vagina? You would have to be prepared to go get some antibiotics if you did get an infection. Then you would know not to do it again. That may have been a suggestion too far, but I am just thinking what might break the long chain of anal. If mentally he’s racking them up like a score card. Anyway I hope you sort it out so you are both happy.

In four years, we’ve gone ass to pussy twice (alcohol fueled) and both times resulted in UTI’s for her. It may work for some, but not for us.

Backdoorlover
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Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Backdoorlover » Thu Jun 16, 2022 9:46 am

Use a rectal douche and ass to pussy will not cause any problems. We done it even spontanious without any problems.
Anal only since 22 december 2021. Living a long time dream

Rimmer
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2022 1:12 am
Gender: Male

Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Rimmer » Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:21 am

Colt1911 wrote:
Thu Jun 16, 2022 7:05 am


In four years, we’ve gone ass to pussy twice (alcohol fueled) and both times resulted in UTI’s for her. It may work for some, but not for us.

Yes I agree, not every one can get away with it, and there is only one way to find out (until someone invents a testing kit :lol: ) We did it once by accident in the dark one hot, sweaty, drunk, summer evening. We fell asleep and in the morning I still had some brown on my dick. We expected a UTI, which never happened. Then we decided to try it when I was 'clean' and again no UTI. We decided that if she did get an infection we would grab some antibiotics and know not to do ass to pussy again. Since then we have done ass to pussy freely, not all the time, but with no limitation or pre arrangement needed and we have had no trouble; but I know other people don't get away with it. It must be down to body chemistry.

Girl
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Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2022 11:44 am
Gender: Female

Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Girl » Sat Jun 18, 2022 3:47 am

tom wrote:
Wed Jun 15, 2022 2:22 pm
Hi Girl,

I am sorry about what is happening to you. It seems like your boyfriend is not listening to your needs. You are kind enough to not reject anal sex but obviously he is doing something wrong. When people here tell you it should not hurt, they are not lying. But he should at least let you rest from any pain. Unfortunately, many men get their ideas about how it works from porn. There could not be a worse teacher. All porn seems to go 0-60 in no time. You have to get used to it. Plugs can help prepare and using a lot of lube helps too but if it is hurting, you must slow down and even change the diameter of any plugs you prepare with. You also must get some recuperation time. You came to the right place because there are entire guides written and referenced here. If your boyfriend is not patient enough to follow a good plan, then I would consider moving on for someone who is patient.

As you are starting to see, many men like anal but have different motivations. Some like it because they are sadistic but you will find while some men here are like that, most do not seem to have that drive. Perhaps your boyfriend is sadistic, but he just might be insensitive. Either way, he really needs to listen to your needs. My motivations are many. While more women are going anal not every woman will do it and opt for vaginal. So if a woman is going to let me try it, it feels like there is a lot of trust. It makes me feel exclusive. As far as the friction, I feel there is more in a pussy. At first anal feels tight, but it does not take long for that to change. But it still feels great to me even with less friction. Women who are really into anal tell me that the orgasms are more intense. That is a huge motivation for me to do it. I really want my woman to feel great. This gives me the perfect exchange. We are both getting exactly what we want.

There are some things to do if you are in a lot of pain to recuperate. You will need some down time. Go back with a smaller sex toy. Use coconut oil and vitamin E. The coconut oil is natural and recovering skin will take well to it since skin is made of lipid bilayer cells. The vitamin E also increases this recovering process. Aloe is likely to do the same. I would avoid using products that mask the pain. The pain is telling you that what is happening is not right. If you need pain relief to get rest at night, then go ahead and do that since sleep helps recovery. However, I would take it easy on activity until you do not need pain relief anymore.

If you must, you may need to take a little time away from him. Perhaps he will appreciate you more. But even if he does not, you seem like someone who aims to please and there are plenty of other men who will appreciate that and not push you beyond your limits. Good luck and hope you find the experience you are looking for.


Hi, Tom , thanks for your reply.

Its interesting what you are talking about regarding friction. I am realising now that if it’s too tight it’s probably something a little wrong; when done right the friction is actually lesser as you described. Painful anal=anal sex for the wrong reasons/ perhaps even with sadistic motivations. Painless anal=A good and very intimate experience for both.
I am highly into BDSM play myself and consider myself as a submissive. I am not saying that it’s something wrong about a couple enjoying painful anal sex, but It’s not for me and I also don’t think that it’s healthy for the the female in the long run. A little pain/intense feeling when being penetrated comes with the territory and feels amazing, but not real painful agony, -that’s just to much.

A problem that I have tried to communicate is that it feels ok until the point I reach orgasm. After, my ass and vagina clench making penetration really painful. I have been sucking it up and letting him finish still. An alternative would be to switch to a condom and continue vaginally, but I guess a big part of the experience for him is to finish in my ass 😅

It’s interesting reading your thoughts on why anal is such a turn on for men and how it best should be practiced. In our case, I think we are to different to make this work. I am into bdsm and activities that involves planning and patience, and I think that anal also falls under this category. I don’t experience that my partner has the same interest as me in taking time and communicating. It’s hard to convince him to do even light bdsm activities with me, like spanking etc even though he is very dominant. That makes me disappointed when considering how much time I have spent “learning” to have anal sex. I don’t think that he is sadistic or a bad person, I think that it’s just comes down to him not having the same dedication as I have to make our sexlife work. And it has also just been too much anal sex..

Thanks again for your thoughts and good advice💜 Maybe I am better off with someone who is more sensitive and patient. It’s important when having sex that recuire a high amount of communication.

Girl
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2022 11:44 am
Gender: Female

Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Girl » Sat Jun 18, 2022 3:54 am

Thanks for all the perspectives and good advice in this thread.💜

Regarding UTIs; please take your time to wash up or get a condom if you want to switch from anal to vaginal! I have had my rounds of antibiotics and it’s not fun at all! You can also get very unlucky and get heavy infections that is harder to treat.

As some of you describe it has gone well and that’s great. I am not a medical professional, but it’s probably right that it comes down to bodily chemistry. The placement of the opening of the urethra can also have something to do with it, and peeing after sex. That can save both men and women from getting infections as is cleans the urethra.

Colt1911
Posts: 105
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 4:48 am
Gender: Male

Re: Questions for the men. Why are we so obsessed over anal sex?

Post by Colt1911 » Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:15 pm

Girl wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 3:54 am
Thanks for all the perspectives and good advice in this thread.💜

Regarding UTIs; please take your time to wash up or get a condom if you want to switch from anal to vaginal! I have had my rounds of antibiotics and it’s not fun at all! You can also get very unlucky and get heavy infections that is harder to treat.

As some of you describe it has gone well and that’s great. I am not a medical professional, but it’s probably right that it comes down to bodily chemistry. The placement of the opening of the urethra can also have something to do with it, and peeing after sex. That can save both men and women from getting infections as is cleans the urethra.

I hope things work out for you. Find a dom that makes anal play and anal sex work for you… it shouldn’t be hard to find someone you’re compatible with. Anal changed our sex life in a very positive way, but as you suggest, planning and time can be important. I wish you well on your anal journey!

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