Pleasing myself

[shy and horny]

Being in a relationship with someone who is reserved is difficult. Aside from anal sex we do nothing more. I have a higher sex drive and want to start exploring on my own but would not even know where to start. I’ve only ever had him in my ass……suggestions

[Backdoorlover]

Do you use a plug ? If no, it’s a good way to start.

And let me be frank. If he loves to assfuck you, but doesn’t do any forplay or anything that gives you pleasure, he is being selfish. I urge you to tell him straight up you need more. If not your relationship will slowly fade.

[NoVagAnal]

Do you use a plug ? If no, it’s a good way to start.

That is a great idea. Plugs can be a whole lot of fun, especially since you can wear them almost anywhere. Dildos of course are a got to for most women. Since you are AO you should stick with that even in your masturbating.

Hopefully this will help you get by while you try and fix things up in your relationship.

[Colt1911]

Being in a relationship with someone who is reserved is difficult. Aside from anal sex we do nothing more. I have a higher sex drive and want to start exploring on my own but would not even know where to start. I’ve only ever had him in my ass……suggestions

Relationships are a two way street. If you’re shy and don’t discuss your wants and needs with him, he won’t know you want more.

Everyone has different sexual desires. Some like dirty talk during sex, some like bondage. I’d guess you’re a bit submissive so suggest he engage in a little bondage like a restraints. Maybe tell him you’ll perform oral sex after he’s been in your ass.

My wife is submissive so I’m the boss in bed. I deliver the pleasure and she enjoys anal play until I decide to penetrate her. Would he be willing to play that role?

I always try to provide advice that attempts to keep couples together, but if he isn’t fulfilling your needs, I guarantee there are men who gladly will.

Talk with him.

[Peachy V]

Being in a relationship with someone who is reserved is difficult. Aside from anal sex we do nothing more. I have a higher sex drive and want to start exploring on my own but would not even know where to start. I’ve only ever had him in my ass……suggestions

I think you need to figure out what you want. What do you want to try? What are you curious about? If he isn't open to those things then it is an issue.

[shy and horny]

I’ve received some great advice thus far, a majority of it has been it is going to take time. I am willing to put in the work and be vocal but it’s not going to happen overnight. It goes beyond communication so it will be a learning process at the very least. Finding his comfort limits. Hell maybe he is waiting for me to take the lead?
We have had conversations about me wanting more but it always ends up dead in the water. BUT our conversations recently lead me to believe we can make progress. In the mean time I’d like to explore more myself, I think it could potentially be something that would be helpful. I enjoy anal but after reading many posts I feel like I am missing out on certain things. Sexual frustration is at a all time high. So if I can learn more of my likes, wants, dislikes, limits I can tell him so he is not guessing.
Which is why I was seeking advice, Im not familiar with toys and what not so looking for recommendations. For plugs what’s ideal? Rubber, metal, glass. They have such a variety online I don’t know where to start.

[Backdoorlover]

Okay. Specific questions call for straight up answers.

Metal plugs: they usually have a jewel in it. Meant as an accessoire to wear when going out because they start in small sizes. The bigger ones are heavy and are also meant for you to train yourself to hold them in by squeezing your spincter.

Silicone plugs: I consider these more of the daily use plugs. They’re comfy and light. They stay put. Available in al sizes and also remote controlled vibration is possible. My girlfriend prefers silicone plugs to wear when we go out. There are silicone plugs that are longer in size so you can also fuck yourself with them. Just use plenty of coconut oil or some other lube.

Glass plugs: no experience.

I believe it would be in your best interest to find out what you like. Explore your asshole yourself, if he isn’t willing, and guide him into it.

Now about your boyfriend:

You are AO so he like anal. But why dies he lack a sense of adventure ? Did he have a previous bad experience with another girl ? Is he afraid of hurting you, or doing something wrong ? Does he even open up while you try to talk to him ?

[Colt1911]

@shy and horny if you decide to buy toys, invest in quality items. They’ll be inside of you. Inexpensive Chinese made metal plugs are often poorly plated and sharp thin pieces of plating can tear your rectum.

Glass plugs are great, but make sure you buy ones with a thick neck. Thin neck glass plugs can break which would be a serious issue if it breaks inside of you.

You don’t have to spend a ton of money, but buy quality for your own health and safety. They’ll also last a lifetime. Let me know if you’d like links to items we’ve purchased.

[Peachy V]

I bought those three piece sets off of Amazon back in the day. Pretty cheap literally and figuratively but they are good beginner sets.

But overall I'd agree with buying quality. Last longer and better built.

[shy and horny]

@shy and horny if you decide to buy toys, invest in quality items. They’ll be inside of you. Inexpensive Chinese made metal plugs are often poorly plated and sharp thin pieces of plating can tear your rectum.

Glass plugs are great, but make sure you buy ones with a thick neck. Thin neck glass plugs can break which would be a serious issue if it breaks inside of you.

You don’t have to spend a ton of money, but buy quality for your own health and safety. They’ll also last a lifetime. Let me know if you’d like links to items we’ve purchased.

Thank you! I’d love to check out the links you have I completely understand that quality is important so I won’t invest in something cheap.