Anyone feeling like they don't belong

[Colt1911]

I believe you’ll find many strong, independent women on this forum as well as their male partners who date or are married to them. My wife is fiercely independent and engages in anal because she loves it. She also had a submissive side sexually, but that gives me the opportunity to pleasure her ass.

Find a man willing to learn and teach him how to tease and pleasure you in bed. Honestly, I do this because I’m selfish. It’s empowering for a man when he can pleasure his partner and make her cum. I’d think a woman feels the same way as well. Those who give pleasure get pleasure.

There can be dom/sub dynamics in a sexual relationship with a feminist. If you find the right person, you can train him how to deliver anal pleasure you both can enjoy. There are many men on this forum who write about the anal pleasure they give their mates. The dirty secret is I’m selfish. My orgasm is ALWAYS better when she has an incredible anal orgasm first. Hoping others will jump in and let you know many of us are generous anal lovers.

[Ozzy]

Long time I don't post here, but this one made me want to join the conversation.
I have no problem with feminist women. To be honest, I find it so sexy when a woman is a self declared feminist and want to have an independent life, knows about the horrible things of patriarchy, have her own life apart from the life of the husband. And if this woman happens to be anal only, then it's a huge turn on.
What turns me off about feminism is when the woman acts too "manish", and so she doesn't have that feminine way of being that feels so lovely to us guys.
But maybe it's just me who feels this way about the subject of feminism.
The OP seems like she's a very sexy and inteligent woman.
About kids, all I tell you it's not easy, I think it's better if both partners have a strong desire to become parents.

[DirtyWife]

You are not going to find a man that you want till you give up being a feminist.
Feminism is no longer about equality we got the vote decades ago and joined the workforce and now no one is at home or raise the kids.
I used to believe that standing for woman's rights was our duty as woman... but now I see it.
It's just to break up the family unit and make it so you are not compatible with men.
Being in a relationship with a man is about balance and trust. The idea of submitting so this guy can tell you what to do and how to act is extreme and stupid.
I've been with the same guy for over half my life because I chose wisely and I have submitted to him properly like a wife should not to loose my personality but because I know his strengths and weaknesses and he knows mine and we work together as a team to get through life. When he tells me that something I'm not paying attention to could hurt me ...why not submit to his authority on it.
I give him authority to help me with life. And if I notice anything that can make his life better I do it and he submits to my rule if I have one.
I know he is intelligent and capable of making decisions about stuff he knows better than me( in my case he is a university graduate with many degrees so I can trust he knows what he is talking about)but I also have my area of expertise.

You see submitting to your husband is trusting your choice of mate and partner so you can literally not worry about whatever it's his job to worry about and trust him to get it done.
Bdsm submission is extreme and degrading
Some who have to be in control of big companies and never get to appear weak often seek a dominant person in the bedroom to feel fulfilled... Some dude choose bitchy wife's cause they need someone telling them what to do.

@Butthearmeout there is a problem with masculine woman not being able to find good men take for example single mothers. They must be both mom and dad to the child so the mom has to take in some more masculine characteristics to fill the need.
Then the mom gets lonely and tries to find another man to blend into her family where she fills the roles both. What role is there for the man ? What room? Only the tiny bit left by her not being man enough or woman enough cause one person can only do so much.
Sooo they end up with feminized men that end up not being someone trustworthy or capable enough to submit to.

My advice for you is look into true equality which is called egalitarianism ...feminism is actually a supremacists movement putting woman above men...we are unstoppable together. Unity. The family unit.

...but it's the type of man you are cutting yourself off from, because you call yourself a feminist, that you are looking for. Not that you are confident and independent but if you are too independent then you have no room to be in a couple and to put yourself in someone else's hands while they are in yours. Adaptability is a female trait and if you are finding adapters then they are feminine men. I'm not saying just change... I'm saying open your mind to being a feminine woman cause feminism doesn't do anything good for women anymore. Make sure you leave room in your world for a man or you will never be happy with the small men who can fit in the tiny space you have left for them.

[Canassman]

May I suggest that the conversation is completely subjective and using absolute language is unrealistic. Saying “you won’t find a man until you stop being a feminist” is absolutist, and quite honestly erroneous. My wife is a feminist, I am a feminist, I would never have a partner who was not a feminist. That alone makes the statement erroneous. My wife chooses to be submissive in our sex life - a choice… with consent from both of us..l that’s the very definition of feminism.
My point is not to defend feminism, nor to be critical of another’s perspective or personal experience. What I would suggest is that it’s more relevant to make a comment like “in my experience, I found I more satisfaction (happiness, compatibility, or whatever) in my relationship since I submitted…” or whatever the point any commentator wants to make (this is not specific to the feminism comment, but any comments). This is much more accurate, ensures we don’t get bogged down in a political debate - which is NOT the point of this forum, and doesn’t run the risk of demeaning people who have a different experience or perspective.
So speaking from a place in which we clearly speak about our own experience avoids most disagreeing and is far more accurate.

[Backdoorlover]

Like somebody else said, I belief feminism is manmade to disturb the classis family.

My parents were the old fashion couple. Dad worked in the coalmines, mum was a housewife. So one income. Still they managed to buy a house and raise 3 kids.

At some point, some people began taking an interest of making women go to work. It was claimed it was for own their freedom, is was to be independent. Then people had two incomes, now they could buy bigger houses, ánd two cars. So houseprices went up, cause a two income family could effort it.

People have really been taken for a ride, with the whole feminist movement. It is a man made construction to alter the way a family lived. Kids had to go to daycare, schools took over the role of educator and had the perfect uppertunity to create an indoctrinated workforce.

I don’t think feminism did any good, cause it has nothing to do with equality. My girlfriend is old fashioned. She needs a man who takes charge, who makes the hard decisions, so she doesn’t need to worry about that. She’s the definition of “don’t make his life hard, make his cock hard and make him cum”. I am very happy that I finally, after a few women who were demanding and self-centered, that I now have a woman who is naturally submissive. It has build the best sexlife I could have imagined. She wanted to become anal only as much as me. Giving up pussysex wasn’t even an issue. She loves doing ass to mouth and deeptroat. She gagged a lot before she became the deeptroat queen she is now. She wouldn’t have done that without her submissive nature.

[amaizeg]

TBH, all the women I have been with who either were really into anal sex or even preferred it to the point of being anal-only were very self-sufficient, outspoken, independent strong personalities.

I always had the feeling that they felt it as a way to take charge and enjoy their sexuality the most, not necessarily to be submissive to a man's desire.

[DirtyWife]

@Canassman you way over simplified what I said and lost it's meaning. You may consider yourself a feminist but consent isn't all that feminism is about.

I agree that this forum isn't the place for debate about this but as I read the original post it resonated and I felt I should tell the truth to this person so they don't waste anymore time with men who love vagina because it's the woman's flower and this precious beautiful thing...when she wants a guy that just wants to get her off, and if that means butt stuff then cool.

I'm just trying to help the woman get fucked in the ass

But what I said was she won't find the guy she is looking for... She will find a guy
There's billions of them out there.
But declaring yourself a feminist is a red flag for none feminist men.

Just try the meritocracy out... Best/ most qualified person for the job gets the job instead of because of genitals. Or any other reason that is an immutable characteristic.

I used to be too masculine so any guy I wanted wouldn't come near me and I could only get weak men that I would eventually walk all over.
I know this one from personal experience and I had to do 2 yrs of cognitive therapy before my husband would date me.
I'm not trying to insult, I'm just a woman in my 40s wishing I started having anal decades ago lending perspective.
I had to learn that it's ok to be a feminine woman who can't do everything just as good as a man. I got stuff you guys can't do as good as I can do it too. It's equal. We r better as a team
So be like one as side of the yin Yang and don't complete yourself leave space for another person to fit right in.
And don't emasculate your men. Everyone can't be the girl in the relationship...
Get what I'm saying?

[DirtyWife]

The real topic I think here is the submission...
Can you be a submissive feminist is a question too but I think the different level s of submission are important to understand.

There is the bdsm style which is extreme
And on the other end in my opinion is the submission to a husband which is more or a mutual submission (cause the hubby doesn't get to keep fucking other girls he is to submit to his wife in a few areas too)
It's just the man is written in the bible to be responsible for the whole family. So if the wife or children are sinners then it's the husband/father's fault and he pays the price come judgment day. And the laws here in America used to reflect this in some capacity.
The kid does wrong the parents get the fine ect.
So I feel happier as a woman that can put all the man stuff on my husband and I don't have to worry about it
But as a human I don't feel like I'm demeaning woman by trusting my man or by loving a good ass fuckin.
I feel like if feminism says you can't like anal and be a feminist then maybe feminism is dumb.

In the end ...only submit so much as you trust and never do something you don't want to sexually...don't settle the guy you want is right around the corner you just gotta find him.
Stay positive

[FarmerDan]

To go back to your original question - I've found from personal and on line experience that there is endless variety in human sexuality. You'll find the partner(s) for you but if your needs are at all unconventional there will be bumps in the road.

If you haven't already come across it, check out the gay community for the term 'power bottom'. Seems like it might be a fit for you.