Improving The Image Of Anal

General discussion of the anal only lifestyle. If it doesn't fit elsewhere or isn't a personal comment or question, it probably goes here.
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KeepItReal
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Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by KeepItReal » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:54 pm

We all know that Anal is slowly becoming less of a taboo - but is still a rare and irregular practice in mainstream society.

Most men fantasise about Anal, indeed crave it - so primarily it is the women who are reluctant to try, or continue, having Anal sex.

I think there are several factors which are holding Anal back from becoming the intercourse of choice for females:


1) Porn

The Adult industry has made Anal its main selling point these days - unfortunately these x-rated movies depict Anal in a very unromantic and rough, almost violent manner, which obviously makes women very uneasy.

Also, the popularity of Ass-To-Mouth understandably makes women feel Anal is disgusting and unhealthy.

All this "trains" many young men in to thinking this is how they should approach Anal, which naturally leads to disaster in the bedroom and often makes women decide never to do Anal again!

It's almost like porn is programming men to literally not give a damn about giving women any pleasure, in fact, encourages them not to! Tragically for us, the adult industry has usurped the sublime ecstasy of Anal and turned it upside down to become one of the main methods of inflicting "non-pleasure" on women.

Therefore the act of Anal Sex is constantly associated with pain and submission and even humiliation, which means women will remain nervous about it and even actively against it.

Obviously not all porn is like this, but the majority most definitely is - this is the kind of crap I'm talking about:
http://ist2-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.c ... o1_500.gif

Sadly there is little that can be done to change the porn industry - but on a positive note, there is a growing trend for more "artistic" porn which is targeted more towards couples and women.

Websites like X-Art.com are making porn look beautiful instead of down and dirty - hopefully with the passage of time, this kind of erotica will replace the hardcore nastiness we have now... and will show the world that Anal can be loving and sensual as we all know it is!


2) Notoriety

It's a common perception today (and very much promoted by porn) that Anal is only performed by women who have no standards and are dirty or desperate or just cheap whores. It's not something good and wholesome. At best it's mentioned jokingly and at worst, used to shame and disgrace.

Women will rarely speak openly about Anal as they fear it will damage their reputation amongst other women, and they'd be looked down upon as someone who has no self-respect.

I also think this antagonism from other women is partly due to jealousy, as most know that men these days absolutely love Anal - which means the women who practice it have a major advantage over those that don't! This is seen as a primary threat in our overly competitive sexual society where eligible bachelors are a prized commodity.

This backward thinking has to change. The liberalisation of society (in some countries at least) is helping, but the biggest driving factor has to come from women themselves.

Anal has to be thought of as just another, completely normal, aspect of passionate sex. Women who enjoy it should be considered in command of their own body and sexuality as opposed to being desperate or dominated.

Indeed, the ideal situation would be if the tables are turned - instead of people thinking you are less of a woman if you like Anal, it should be that you are a less of a woman if you don't like Anal!


3) Homosexuality

The first thing most women will say/think when Anal is requested = "OMG is he secretly gay?"

The overwhelming attitude among women is that Anal is a deviant activity which is unnatural and shouldn't really be practised in a heterosexual relationship. If a man does want Anal then he is either a pervert or a closet homosexual!

Personally I counter this poisonous notion by explaining how much I want to know her "completely" without anything being held back = what could be more masculine (ie non-gay!) than wanting to be intimate with EVERY part of a womans body!

Constantly complimenting (worshipping!) the cute ass of your lady and using the term "Backdoor" instead of Anal helps to make your love of Anal seem manly and natural - the implication being that women have two doors, not just one... and that it's perfectly normal to enter through either door!


4) Hygiene

Yep, Anal involves the orifice where shit comes out! Nothing on earth could be more filthy!

There is no avoiding this aspect of Anal, and being grossed out is entirely justified when first mentioned. Cumming in her ass and the consequences of that are also a huge turn-off.

However talking things over and having a sense of humour about the human body, will usually put her mind at ease.

The most important point to get across, is that SHE might be concerned about accidents and grossness, but YOU have absolutely no problem at all with anything - there is nothing to be worried about as you adore everything about her unconditionally!


5) Insecurity

Many women can feel quite insulted when their pussy is neglected - it is after all the very essence of femininity. Some may even think their body is not good enough, or that their vagina is ugly or loose, which is why her man wants to penetrate her elsewhere.

Again, open and honest communication can alleviate these worries by showing her you want her ass because you crave every inch of her body.

Also, women often think their ass and particularly their asshole is not pretty (indeed many women think their pussy isn't pretty!) so are reluctant to let their man see this part of their body, never mind penetrate that part of their body!

Making women feel confident about their physique (especially their genitalia) is vital in helping them lose their inhibitions and become open to exploring new experiences. Right now, pussies, tits, legs and asses are on the sexual pedestal - we have to include assholes on that lofty platform!

Maybe I'll start a thread showing how utterly exquisite a womans asshole truly is! :D


Overall, Anal needs to become part of mainstream culture. It is slowly getting there for sure, but unfortunately not in the most productive way as it's still seen in a negative light.

As "Anal Connoisseurs" (who are ahead of the curve!) we all have a duty to evangelise the next step in our sexual evolution! This forum is a great addition to the mighty crusade!

I'm sure there are many other issues which are holding back the popularity of Anal, especially from a cultural and social perspective... so lets continue the discussion and find the best ways to move things forward!

PS: I apologise to any members (especially female!) who disagree with my overly presumptuous opinions! I mean well and only have the best intentions! :)
Last edited by KeepItReal on Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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HalfHeart
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by HalfHeart » Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:49 am

I would be happy if each person gave it honest consideration rather than being shamed away by "what would everyone think?" type shit.

That gif kinda works for me. I like the slight distention.
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Article from Thought Catalouge

Post by MightyRearRanger » Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:04 am

I ran across this article today: http://thoughtcatalog.com/belle-aria/20 ... -anal-sex/. If more women who enjoy sodomy were honest with each other -and themselves- and discussed it truthfully with each other the world may just become a better place.

BBells
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by BBells » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:35 am

From personal experience, the biggest turn off for women is experience. Guys who think they can just force it in, or pressure girls, or are only interested in using a girl, and that does not exactly leave the best impression. If your only experiences with anal are pain, discomfort, or displeasure than it is not likely they will be very eager to try it again. I was lucky enough that my first time was with a guy who knew to go slow, we both understood this takes some work, and most importantly, he listened to me but most of my friends have horror stories regarding anal.

Hygiene and insecurity are general sex issues. I think both are very overblown. Porn? I don't watch porn but I do follow porn blogs on Tumblr. To be honest, that is what made me want to try anal. I thought it looked incredibly sexy. It turned me on and made me curious to try. However, the few times I have watched porn i think its general portrayal of sex is pretty ridiculous. Porn is not made for women. This may surprise some but most girls don't want to choke on cock and have cum on their face.

I hate to burst people bubbles but Anal is not for everyone. There are people who do not like it, there are people who are uninterested, and honestly it will never be "mainstream". There is nothing wrong with that. I don't like foot stuff and I hope my man would respect that. I certainly have no interest in pegging. Anal is a fetish and that is OK. Anal will not be taught in school, just like oral is not. It will always come down to whether a girl is willing, and whether a guy is patient.

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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by marcus » Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:33 am

BBells wrote: However, the few times I have watched porn i think its general portrayal of sex is pretty ridiculous. Porn is not made for women. This may surprise some but most girls don't want to choke on cock and have cum on their face.

It may surprise you to learn many men feel the same way. Though I applaud the prominence given to anal in recent years, in other regards much of porn is actually getting less interesting and disconnected from reality. They seem stuck endlessly repeating the same porn conventions - women whose only purpose is the please; silly baby talk; the "slutty" outfits; the same old porn studio settings (probably the same half-dozen properties in California) and always finishing with ejaculation on faces. And don't get me started on the slapping and choking, which I deplore.

The message seems to be - even when the women looks like she can't be enjoying it - she really is. They that get off on being abused and degraded.

To my mind the more interesting stuff is being published by real couples. They don't feel the need to constantly babble shit for the camera, and showed genuine, not forced, emotions.
BBells wrote: I hate to burst people bubbles but Anal is not for everyone. There are people who do not like it, there are people who are uninterested, and honestly it will never be "mainstream". There is nothing wrong with that. I don't like foot stuff and I hope my man would respect that. I certainly have no interest in pegging. Anal is a fetish and that is OK. Anal will not be taught in school, just like oral is not. It will always come down to whether a girl is willing, and whether a guy is patient.

I agree with most of that. But is anal really a fetish? Is oral a fetish?

And the reason anal will not be taught in school is that the purpose of sex education in school is nothing to do the the recreational or pleasure aspects of sex. Instead the focus is on teaching the process of reproduction, as well as sexual health and safety. Same reason oral sex is not "taught".

amorous945
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by amorous945 » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:59 pm

Firstly, I appreciate all of the time and effort that went into writing this post. There is some really good information here, and much to think about and consider. Without reading through it again, I can safely say that I agree. However, I think that in order to really improve the image of anal sex, we're going to have to backup several steps even beyond this advice, and re-learn how we think about the anus in general. From the earliest days of our lives, whether intended or unintended, we learn to have a very negative feeling about our "assholes." "It's dirty, stinky and nasty, and so for the most part we get the feeling that we're supposed to live and act as though we really don't even have an anus at all. We spend our entire lives, some more than others, constantly showering and lathering ourselves with endless "fake" smells that are everything but natural or even human. The derogatory term "asshole" is often used to label someone with a personality that challenges our particular comfort zone in life, when in all actuality, calling someone an "asshole" should be a compliment of the highest order, for, after all, the anus by nature does exactly what it's supposed to do, flawlessly. Try living your life without one. We've placed women into such an unreal, unrealistic platform that we don't even won't to imagine that women "fart or shit" at all, much less that it stinks when they do. For this reason, "many" women who are interested in anal sex go through needless hours of preparation in order to keep up this false image and persona of being without shit or anything less than sweet smelling and perfumed. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that we should abandon good hygiene, but I think that too often many of us go way overboard to cover those aspects of our humanity that we consider less appealing, even to the point of conveying (because of social programming?) the image of perfection.

Because of this false image of what a woman is supposed to be, and the pedestal that they're often placed upon, I remember how aroused I became the first time that I smelled my finger after touching a woman's anus. There was a sweet, musky, sweaty smell there that just drove me crazy with desire! Since that time, I have always loved the smell of a woman's asshole, even when it isn't "squeaky" clean. By the same token, I"m often disappointed when all that I ever smell there is some false, flowery, unnatural scent. If I'm going to be kissing and licking her asshole, then clean and sweet smelling is preferred. Otherwise, natural is preferred above sweet smelling. I love an asshole with personality, not covered up with false, human created, flavored scents.

I have been married for well over thirty years, and I accept my wife completely as is, and that with great delight! We have anal sex 99.9% of the time. Is her asshole always sweet smelling and perfumed? Nope, but I love and throughly enjoy it, none the less, and that without showering, enemas or anything else that "kills' the moment! Do I ever encounter "shit? Yep, not often, but when it happens, it happens. No big deal. Just wipe off and get over it!

All that aside and simply stated, until humans can accept the fact that they actually have anus's, and that they all stink sometimes and perform functions that are socially unappealing and private in nature, we will never move beyond seeing anal sex as dirty, perverted or "unnatural."

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Re: Article from Thought Catalouge

Post by KeepItReal » Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:37 am

MightyRearRanger wrote:I ran across this article today: http://thoughtcatalog.com/belle-aria/20 ... -anal-sex/. If more women who enjoy sodomy were honest with each other -and themselves- and discussed it truthfully with each other the world may just become a better place.

Great article dude - thanks for sharing!
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by KeepItReal » Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:48 am

BBells wrote:From personal experience, the biggest turn off for women is experience. Guys who think they can just force it in, or pressure girls, or are only interested in using a girl, and that does not exactly leave the best impression. If your only experiences with anal are pain, discomfort, or displeasure than it is not likely they will be very eager to try it again. I was lucky enough that my first time was with a guy who knew to go slow, we both understood this takes some work, and most importantly, he listened to me but most of my friends have horror stories regarding anal.

I agree, it's almost as if men are their own worst enemy!
Although I have to admit, Anal is so exciting that you can't blame a guy for getting carried away the first time, mores the pity I suppose!
Hygiene and insecurity are general sex issues. I think both are very overblown.

Yes, but I think Anal does bring it's own hygiene issues which go over and above vaginal sex.
Porn? I don't watch porn but I do follow porn blogs on Tumblr. To be honest, that is what made me want to try anal. I thought it looked incredibly sexy. It turned me on and made me curious to try.

This surprises me as, in my opinion anyway, most porn makes Anal look very unsexy and would actually turn women off!
Which blogs were you reading and what aspect of Anal turned you on?
However, the few times I have watched porn i think its general portrayal of sex is pretty ridiculous. Porn is not made for women. This may surprise some but most girls don't want to choke on cock and have cum on their face.

So true! More women need to make porn!
I hate to burst people bubbles but Anal is not for everyone. There are people who do not like it, there are people who are uninterested, and honestly it will never be "mainstream".

NOOOOOOO! Don't break my heart! :)
There is nothing wrong with that. I don't like foot stuff and I hope my man would respect that. I certainly have no interest in pegging. Anal is a fetish and that is OK. Anal will not be taught in school, just like oral is not. It will always come down to whether a girl is willing, and whether a guy is patient.

I think Anal will eventually go the way of Oral - blowjobs were originally very dirty and taboo, but today are pretty much a standard practice!
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by KeepItReal » Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:55 am

marcus wrote:It may surprise you to learn many men feel the same way. Though I applaud the prominence given to anal in recent years, in other regards much of porn is actually getting less interesting and disconnected from reality. They seem stuck endlessly repeating the same porn conventions - women whose only purpose is the please; silly baby talk; the "slutty" outfits; the same old porn studio settings (probably the same half-dozen properties in California) and always finishing with ejaculation on faces. And don't get me started on the slapping and choking, which I deplore.

It's fascinating, most regular guys would say the same thing about porn, but it seems the adult industry is run by men who are far from "regular guys" which is why there is this crazy competition to keep pushing the envelope and make porn more and more unrealistic and depraved!
The message seems to be - even when the women looks like she can't be enjoying it - she really is. They that get off on being abused and degraded.

This precisely shows the mentality of the people making it - which is a great shame.
To my mind the more interesting stuff is being published by real couples. They don't feel the need to constantly babble shit for the camera, and showed genuine, not forced, emotions.

True, unfortunately the amateur scene doesn't have as many utterly gorgeous girls which is disappointing once you've gotten used to supermodel looks!
I agree with most of that. But is anal really a fetish? Is oral a fetish?

I guess it depends on how you define what is a fetish - usually it means something that is not commonly practiced?
If Anal gets more and more popular (like it is!) then it could eventually be considered just another normal aspect of everyday sex.
And the reason anal will not be taught in school is that the purpose of sex education in school is nothing to do the the recreational or pleasure aspects of sex. Instead the focus is on teaching the process of reproduction, as well as sexual health and safety. Same reason oral sex is not "taught".

I'm sure that Oral and even Anal is taught in schools in many European countries - maybe not in depth but it is mentioned and explained.
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Re: Improving The Image Of Anal

Post by KeepItReal » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:03 am

amorous945 wrote:Firstly, I appreciate all of the time and effort that went into writing this post.

Thank you! It did take some time but was a pleasure not a chore!
However, I think that in order to really improve the image of anal sex, we're going to have to backup several steps even beyond this advice, and re-learn how we think about the anus in general. From the earliest days of our lives, whether intended or unintended, we learn to have a very negative feeling about our "assholes." "It's dirty, stinky and nasty, and so for the most part we get the feeling that we're supposed to live and act as though we really don't even have an anus at all. We spend our entire lives, some more than others, constantly showering and lathering ourselves with endless "fake" smells that are everything but natural or even human.

I think this will never change dude - it hasn't on thousands of years!
Then again, it's this fact that makes Anal so kinky and exhilarating!
The derogatory term "asshole" is often used to label someone with a personality that challenges our particular comfort zone in life, when in all actuality, calling someone an "asshole" should be a compliment of the highest order, for, after all, the anus by nature does exactly what it's supposed to do, flawlessly. Try living your life without one.

Come on bro, this is also never going to change!
We all insult each other by calling out names of our private parts! Asshole is no different to Cunt or Dick!
We've placed women into such an unreal, unrealistic platform that we don't even won't to imagine that women "fart or shit" at all, much less that it stinks when they do.

Personally, I like that! I've always thought of women as being made of sugar and spice - they are the fairer sex and the opposite of stinky men! It's why I'm so attracted to them!
For this reason, "many" women who are interested in anal sex go through needless hours of preparation in order to keep up this false image and persona of being without shit or anything less than sweet smelling and perfumed. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that we should abandon good hygiene, but I think that too often many of us go way overboard to cover those aspects of our humanity that we consider less appealing, even to the point of conveying (because of social programming?) the image of perfection.

Again, I like this about women! They spend so much time perfecting themselves - all for the benefit of us men!
Because of this false image of what a woman is supposed to be, and the pedestal that they're often placed upon, I remember how aroused I became the first time that I smelled my finger after touching a woman's anus. There was a sweet, musky, sweaty smell there that just drove me crazy with desire! Since that time, I have always loved the smell of a woman's asshole, even when it isn't "squeaky" clean. By the same token, I"m often disappointed when all that I ever smell there is some false, flowery, unnatural scent. If I'm going to be kissing and licking her asshole, then clean and sweet smelling is preferred. Otherwise, natural is preferred above sweet smelling. I love an asshole with personality, not covered up with false, human created, flavored scents.

I agree, the smell of a natural woman can be very intoxicating!
At the same time, if a woman did have an Anus that smelt like roses I would be just as intoxicated!
I have been married for well over thirty years, and I accept my wife completely as is, and that with great delight! We have anal sex 99.9% of the time. Is her asshole always sweet smelling and perfumed? Nope, but I love and throughly enjoy it, none the less, and that without showering, enemas or anything else that "kills' the moment! Do I ever encounter "shit? Yep, not often, but when it happens, it happens. No big deal. Just wipe off and get over it!

You lucky dawg! How long did it take you both to achieve Anal Only status?
All that aside and simply stated, until humans can accept the fact that they actually have anus's, and that they all stink sometimes and perform functions that are socially unappealing and private in nature, we will never move beyond seeing anal sex as dirty, perverted or "unnatural."

The same could be said about vaginas and cum etc - I think sex will always remain something unclean, however that doesn't mean it isn't seen as being exotic and beautiful!
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