Sex slowed to a trickle

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Sgt_Valk
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Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by Sgt_Valk » Mon Dec 04, 2017 10:48 am

Idk if it is just my luck or what but with every relationship, at the beginning, sex is fairly regular, then slows to a trickle, and eventually stops. My girlfriend and i have been dating for just over 5 months now. The first month was just sex whenever wherever. The next month it was every other day, occasionally skipping a few days due to her chronic pancreatitis. Lately it has become as rare as 2-3 times per month.

A little background. She knew at the very start that i only wanted to have anal sex. She was very open and accepting of that. Around the end of the first month she had mentioned once or twice that she had needs that werent being fulfilled vaginally, and we tried, and i lost my hardon before even penetrating. It just doesnt do it for me, and we started doing some clit play from there on out. That is when it started to slow down. As she was having more vaginal orgasms she wanted less sex and started making excuses that she wasnt in the mood. So a week passed, we had sex once and it was another week before i was allowed to touch her sexually at all. Then two weeks. As of today, it has been three weeks since entering her and we have only been dating for five months.

Now i really love this girl and i want us to experience sexual pleasure like we did 3-5 months ago, but i dont know how to rekindle her flame. Most attempts of turning her on get shot down within seconds. I do sweet things for her all the time and i get thank you’s but its not like it used to be. I love her but i hate that our sex life is dying and i want to rekindle it.
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Analien
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by Analien » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:31 pm

It occured to me that there might be a correlation between her medical issue that you mention in the first paragraph of your post and her changed attitude towards sex. It is only my guess though.
Have you discussed it with your girlfriend?
Vstříc análním orgasmům.

analsexonly
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by analsexonly » Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:34 pm

While I don't have general advice to give in response to your question, one part of your message did stand out to me.
Sgt_Valk wrote:A little background. She knew at the very start that i only wanted to have anal sex. She was very open and accepting of that. Around the end of the first month she had mentioned once or twice that she had needs that werent being fulfilled vaginally, and we tried, and i lost my hardon before even penetrating. It just doesnt do it for me, and we started doing some clit play from there on out. That is when it started to slow down. As she was having more vaginal orgasms she wanted less sex and started making excuses that she wasnt in the mood.

This is something I've noticed personally, with people I've spoken to, and from things I've read from others, that some women experience. Not all women, but definitely enough that it's a notable phenomenon. Vaginal sex, and clitoral/vaginal orgasms, reset arousal afterwards quite significantly compared to anal orgasms and stimulation, and can even suppress it for a longer period of time after, especially if she has a lower sex drive to begin with. It's a big reason I advocate focusing more on anal stimulation and orgasms when possible, as it can maintain higher levels of arousal/sex drive.

Sgt_Valk
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by Sgt_Valk » Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:25 pm

@analien, the medical issue was prevalent prior to us starting dating, and at times it does flare and make sex not feasible at times but most of the time she is feeling well. thank you for the response though.

@analsexonly, I am in agreeance with you that focusing on anal stimulation is important, and I am not really a believer in recreational vaginal play, so when she asked for that my heart dropped a little but i do love her and want her to be happy which is why i agreed to stimulate her vaginally. I have hinted at the fact that we dont have sex as often as i would like us to but all that she came back with was that she cant do anal all the time. i never expected to do it every day or even every other day. i would just like it to be somewhat.... regular... once or twice a week would be awesome.
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analsexonly
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by analsexonly » Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:29 pm

Part of the reason it may be difficult to do anal all the time is because of the infrequency of doing it. Getting out of the routine and out of practice makes it harder to do regularly. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Have you tried more anal play on days in between having sex? Rimming, fingering, smaller toys, butt plugs, and the like? Thus keeping her more anally focused and active in between even if it's not as active as having sex? That can really help maintain one's anal routine so that it remains easier to keep doing.

Sgt_Valk
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by Sgt_Valk » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:37 pm

I would love to play on the days in between but it normally gets shot down. But, speak of the devil, and he shall come. last night was awesome. After dinner we took a shower together, in the shower she blew me for a bit and looked up and said "bed, now". An hour long anal session ensued. I hope that similar things are on the horizon.
The Sgt

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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by LuvMyWifesAss » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:14 pm

analsexonly wrote:Part of the reason it may be difficult to do anal all the time is because of the infrequency of doing it. Getting out of the routine and out of practice makes it harder to do regularly. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Have you tried more anal play on days in between having sex? Rimming, fingering, smaller toys, butt plugs, and the like? Thus keeping her more anally focused and active in between even if it's not as active as having sex? That can really help maintain one's anal routine so that it remains easier to keep doing.

I can't stress my agreement enough with this statement. This is especially true when starting out and trying to get her body used to anal penetration. If you can't have anal sex at least three times a week, you should be doing some of the things analsexonly suggests.

Are you ejaculating inside of her during anal? If so, does she immediately use the restroom, or wait until it comes out naturally?

Sgt_Valk
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by Sgt_Valk » Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:43 pm

immediately afterwards, she doesn't hold onto it because she feels like she needs to go right after.
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taylork
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Re: Sex slowed to a trickle

Post by taylork » Mon May 07, 2018 1:32 pm

Sgt_Valk wrote:immediately afterwards, she doesn't hold onto it because she feels like she needs to go right after.

My girlfriend used to have that problem sometimes. It's partly because it takes time and regular anal so that her body gets used to the semen. That should pass in few months. It hardly ever troubles my gf now. The other things is that her body is confused by the stimulation in her rectum so for a while after sex it thinks it needs to expel something. Thats what her body has been used to all her life. But she will adapt I promise. Encourage her to lie down and relax after sex (not with her ass down). Try giving her a massage or something or put on relaxing music. Anything that calms her so that she becomes used to retaining it.

Anyway, all the other advice should see you through if you take it. I hope things are better. Will you let us know how its going?

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