Anal advice

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Anal advice

Post by John » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:53 am

Hey everyone I am very new to the forum I just made a profile to ask a question. I have been reading alot of the post and finally to the point I'm so sexually frustrated that I really need some advice. That being said my wife and I have been seeing each other 6 and a half years and married for 3 and a half, even before she and I got together I was always attracted to women's ass I would admire almost everyone I walked by. When we got together we fell in love pretty much at first sight but she was seeing someone so we remained friends, then a month or so later she called and ask if I was still single and we have been together pretty much from that moment on, about a year into our relationship I began talking to her about anal sex and told her I wanted to try, so a couple months later she and I began trying, the first couple times wasnt as good for her as you can emagine with pain and all but we continued to try and up until my daughter was born a few months ago I would manage to get anal once every couple weeks or so sometimes longer but at one point we was almost at the point of doing it once a week and she was having major orgasams and said it felt good and didn't hurt but was just a little uncomfortable but we continued with the periodic anal. That leads to my question, I just recently started asking about it again and she has said she doesn't want to so last night I started asking why because I couldn't understand if she was having way more intense orgasams and no pain during anal why she wouldn't want to do it and it has even started causing problems in our relationship, and when I bring up anak she gets mad and says she only was doing it for me. Please help
John

analgirl98

Re: Anal advice

Post by analgirl98 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:56 am

There's not a lot of help we can give glue here I think. If the lady says no, it's a no. You can't force her to change her mind and if she doesn't enjoy it it won't be good for you either.

John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Re: Anal advice

Post by John » Tue Aug 16, 2016 12:59 pm

analgirl98 wrote:There's not a lot of help we can give glue here I think. If the lady says no, it's a no. You can't force her to change her mind and if she doesn't enjoy it it won't be good for you either.

Well that's the point I'm getting at, when we used to do anal I could tell by her body language that she really enjoyed it because my wife never has any issue having an organ, when we first got together the only thing that determend how many orgasams she had was how many times we felt like having sex, 9 time out of 10 she would go off 2 times before I even went off once then when we started trying anal I admit the first couple of times wasnt as good for her but we worked on it and got to the point we where doing anal sex at least every other week or so and at one point even a couple times in the same week and we both noticed how fast and intense she would go off most of the time in about two or three minutes when she was on top and they where so intense she would start shaking and digging her fingernails into my chest and trying to force me as deep as she could, but she still said she was only doing it for me.

petviki
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2016 8:29 am

Re: Anal advice

Post by petviki » Tue Aug 16, 2016 2:35 pm

My opinion...
Women rarely fuck for the orgasm, men do, women don't.
They fuck cause they like you and want you to feel good so you will stick around

So I'm betting she is feeling too comfortable and doesn't feel like doing the work.
You just had a kid, she's feeling pretty stable. Stability doesn't get her wet

John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Re: Anal advice

Post by John » Tue Aug 16, 2016 5:53 pm

petviki wrote:My opinion...
Women rarely fuck for the orgasm, men do, women don't.
They fuck cause they like you and want you to feel good so you will stick around

So I'm betting she is feeling too comfortable and doesn't feel like doing the work.
You just had a kid, she's feeling pretty stable. Stability doesn't get her wet

That was my thinking as well but how do I change that without telling her it's over cause I don't want anything to happen to our relationship but it's really agrivating and I feel as if I'm the only one comprising for the better of our marriage and it has got to the point I'm just not that into our sex life, there is no oral, no anal, just vaginal and I'm tired of it. But once again I guess I will just have to get over it and learn to do without it cause I really don't want to end our marriage just because our sex life sucks.

analgirl98

Re: Anal advice

Post by analgirl98 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:57 pm

I completely disagree that women only fuck for material reasons, it's quite insulting to be honest.

Yes, some women use sex to get what they want, even going as far to do things they don't want to do, but that number of women is tiny.

I fuck for the orgasm. I fuck for the enjoyment of fucking. I fuck because I never feel as wanted or sexy or happy as i do when I'm enjoying someone who is enjoying me. The same is true for all the girls I know too.

It sounds to me like, despite her reaching orgasm and being into it I'm the moment, she feels ashamed for doing it ot scared because she liked it so is reacting out-of hand and you are suffering as a result.

Talk to her. Be open and honest, it's the only thing you can do.

John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Re: Anal advice

Post by John » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:03 am

analgirl98 wrote:I completely disagree that women only fuck for material reasons, it's quite insulting to be honest.

Yes, some women use sex to get what they want, even going as far to do things they don't want to do, but that number of women is tiny.

I fuck for the orgasm. I fuck for the enjoyment of fucking. I fuck because I never feel as wanted or sexy or happy as i do when I'm enjoying someone who is enjoying me. The same is true for all the girls I know too.

It sounds to me like, despite her reaching orgasm and being into it I'm the moment, she feels ashamed for doing it ot scared because she liked it so is reacting out-of hand and you are suffering as a result.

Talk to her. Be open and honest, it's the only thing you can do.

I have talked to her, not perticularly about how I'm feeling right now but I'm not a very confrontational person, I would rather see her happy than fuss about me not being happy because everytime we start to discuss anal she gets all mad and makes me feel like I'm being selfish for wanting her to do it.

John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Re: Anal advice

Post by John » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:29 am

When I say I'm not a very confrontational person that doesn't mean I won't stand my ground if needed, I just prefer to do without as much argument as possible.

John
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:14 am
Gender: Male

Re: Anal advice

Post by John » Fri Aug 26, 2016 12:13 am

Well its official, my wife don't want to have anything to do with anal now so I guess my only options are either just get used to it, or find a fwb that prefers anal. Which with my current friend list being extremely short, we have no social life we work then come home, that's it I may never find someone that will be fwb worthy specialy AO so I guess good bye to that dream of being AO or even anal sometimes. So for now unless a miracle happens I will most likely not be posting anymore but it was good talking to you guys.

MoMa
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2016 1:45 am
Gender: Male
Location: Athens, Greece

Re: Anal advice

Post by MoMa » Sat Aug 27, 2016 2:19 am

Well, It's VERY funny, because I'm exactly on the same spot as you my friend. Being with my wife for 16 years and we have two kids 6 & 4 years old and I'm having exactly the same thoughts as you. He doesn't like oral, we had anal lately 1 month ago and the previous time was on August 2015 (yup, 11 months gap), which is very frustrating.

we talked about our sex life extensively and I simply think that we are incompatible. She simply likes plain sex, has no fantasies, etc, which make me feel trapped.

The problem is that we cannot force anyone to do things they don't and that makes me sad, because I have realized that this will not change ever.
From my wives perspective she has a husband which is never happy and will never get what he wants. This alone stresses her and she always is in a mood that whenever is sex time, I will always ask for things that she doesn't like.

It's a vicious cycle, where I feel that I always hear "no" from my wife and she feels that she can never satisfy me and that turns her off (which is of course understandable).

I have never cheated my wife and my moral code said, that no one should do that, but I think I'm starting to change now...

But, to be on topic, I do LOOOVE anal!

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