Hypnosis

[John]

Has anyone ever tried hypnosis to bring out s woman's inner anal addict? If so please tell your story and if successful or not, and if successful please tell in detail what you did to achieve success. My wife and I used to do anal from time to time and though she always said it was just for me, I could tell she really loved it and had never cum faster than when my dick was in her ass but never would admit it. Now my wife refuses saying it's uncomfortable but again she never showed any uncomfort while we did it but I long for that wonderful sensation of being in her ass balls deep and us cummings together and it's starting to cause problems in our marriage because she is holding back.

[yosemitesspam]

Trying to force your wife to do what you want is the wrong answer, whether by nagging, manipulation, threats, drugs, hypnosis, or what-have-you. If it was good for her before, it can be good again, but by the sounds of it that won't happen the way you're going.

It might be something simple: once when I suggested to DW that we split a bottle of wine on date night, she burst into tears and wouldn't say why--the evening was ruined, and I was mystified. Much later she told me that she thought that she wasn't attractive to me unless I'd been drinking. Nothing could be further from the truth, but I couldn't reassure her until I knew what was up.

This whole man-woman thing is an adventure.

Cheers

YS

[John]

Lol your right for sure I agree it was mainly a question just out of curiosity if anyone had done it before. But I did have a talk with her shortly after this post and she told me the reason it felt uncomfortable was because everytime we do it she feels like she is going to go to the bathroom on herself for a couple days after and with her having IBS that doesn't help but she did give it to me for my birthday over the weekend and we have ordered a set of plugs to try and see if we can train her to adjust quicker so she don't have that feeling after we're done anymore so hopefully we can begin to focus more on her pleasure that she clearly experiences instead of the uncomfortable feeling after.

[analsexonly]

It's great that you talked about it. Keep communicating about it in a low pressure way, and put the focus on helping her enjoy it. You already know you enjoy it, you don't need to do anything about that, so the important thing is helping her to enjoy it, if she's willing to try. It sounds like you're already on the way to that point.

[John]

Well just hit another road block today and really need advice. She and I was talking about it and she said it doesn't hurt or anything but the reason she doesn't care for it is because the uncomfortable feeling of not being able to control herself when time comes to use the bathroom she says she feels like she is going to use the bathroom on herself for a couple days after we do it and that's what makes her not like anal. So any advise to make that uncomfort go away would be a big help.

[analsexonly]

Unless she has poor muscle control/tone, I doubt that she actually has a problem with that and it's just a fear of it combined with the different/unusual feeling she's not used to of having more relaxed anal muscles and perhaps slight swelling for a few days after having sex. The myth of incontinence from having anal sex is very popular, and very wrong. But because it's so pervasive, many people associate the feeling of relaxed anal muscles and a puffy/lightly swollen anal area with being "loose", and it makes them worry even more about incontinence. The reality is that exercising your anal muscles by having sex and using toys will actually strengthen them, but it also increases their flexibility and range of "motion", as well as relaxing them somewhat after use. Being in that relaxed state doesn't mean they can't still tighten and retain their bodily function.

[John]

Thank you sir so basically alot of practice and playing is the answer? That's what I like to hear, I have been telling her we need to start doing anal more frequent than once or twice a month so. I'm hoping your comment will help her see that it can be done, just have to push through the slight uncomfortable feeling for a little while.

[John]

Analsexonly what would be the best way to increase the frequency? Should we start off once a week or so or just go ahead and start trying to every day?

[analsexonly]

Essentially, yes. She needs to get comfortable with the idea that having anal sex or play isn't going to make her loose and incontinent, even in the short term, and that she can control her anal muscles consciously to tighten or loosen them—which gets much easier with practice. It sounds like she doesn't have any real issue with anal itself, just needs to get used to the feelings afterwards and disconnect them from fear and what she thinks they represent.

I would say to generally approach an increase in frequency gradually, so she can get used to it. Do what works for her. If she wants to try jumping to a more rapid increase, you can try it at first, but back off to something less frequent again if she has a hard time doing it so often at first. Otherwise, just focus on what works for her and try to do your best to make her enjoy it and love it. Give her lots of orgasms while playing with or fucking her ass.

[John]

What would you say a good frequently would be to start off with? Would once a week be to much?