starting anal sex

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
lucylucy97
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starting anal sex

Post by lucylucy97 » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:43 pm

Hi, my name is Lucy and i am 19 years old, my boyfriend has been pushing me for a while to try anal sex the to become anal sex only after sometime, and I always turn him down because I have a fear of having, pain and diseases from anal, and have a lose butthole. he is kinda wiled and rough so if i said yes for one thing he will keep pushing until he gets everything. i dont want to lose him and i wanna do the right thing, please advise me.
Last edited by LuvMyWifesAss on Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Edited to remove NSFW content (images).

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KinkyGermanGuy
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by KinkyGermanGuy » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:51 pm

Anal sex needs to be started slowly. Doing it wrong gives you enough pain that you wont let him or anyone close again. Let him know it is your body and he needs to play to your rules. If he is not sensible enough to follow that, he is the wrong boy anyway. Let him start with fingers maybe so that he would not hurt you. Tell him what feels good and what not. Maybe he learns and you wont regret good anal sex :)

Kelly_ukf
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by Kelly_ukf » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:52 pm

Find a new bf who respects u

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Canassman
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by Canassman » Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:40 pm

U should not feel pressured to do anything u don't want to do. If you are dead set against it - then don't do it. That being said, a lot of the fears you have can be addressed. Anal sex should NOT hurt - going slowly, using lots of lube, being in the right mindset (i.e. WANTING to do it and NOT being PRESSURED) will make it enjoyable. Also you will not get a loose ass - that's a total myth - if anything anal sex results in a tight anus. As long as you re both disease free you won't catch anything from anal sex either.

Bottom line is that if you want to do it, or are open to learning more - then research it (this site is great!) and experiment with yourself first (fingers, lube, time, relaxation). Then a conversation with your BF about what you want to do. If he doesn't respect your perspective then he's a lousy BF and you are better off without him.

Sgt_Valk
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by Sgt_Valk » Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:55 pm

Make sure HE does research on how to go about it properly as well as yourself. Anal can be very fun and pleasurable, but it has to be done right in order for it to be that way. As for your fear of having a loose ass, that is a myth unless you WANT it to be loose through lots of major stretching and harmful practices. Regular old anal sex will not make you poop yourself. Start very slowly, with a well lubed finger. Get comfortable with you touching and playing with your ass before letting someone else that you dont trust do it for you. Gotta explore yourself first.
The Sgt

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analsexonly
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by analsexonly » Tue Dec 27, 2016 8:16 am

This question was asked on the blog as well, and I'm going to include my answer from there here too:

First, he shouldn’t push you to do things you don’t want to do and if you don’t want it, you should make that clear to him and that you expect him to request your wishes.

At the same time, your fears about anal are based largely on misconceptions. Done correctly and with the proper training and warmup first, anal will not hurt. Read the other posts here and elsewhere about anal training/warmup and start practicing with fingers and smaller toys well before trying to have anal sex the first time, and also of course always use lube.

Disease/injury is also generally not a concern from anal sex, again if you practice it safely and work to avoid pain—pain is a sign of injury, and so it should be avoided rather than ignoring it. And it can be avoided.

Getting loose or gaping open all the time is also a myth and something that just doesn’t happen. Instead, with practice and training your anal muscles become more flexible and can expand more easily within a wider range, and immediately after sex or play or plug wear you would notice being looser, but the resting state returns to being tight again quite naturally. Over time you can also actually strengthen the muscles (using them exercises them, as with all muscles) as well as gain more conscious control over how loose or tight you want to be at any given moment—relaxing loosening up at will to help with penetration for sex, etc.

If anal interests you and you’d like to try it, then I’d suggest doing so—on your terms. Start playing and practicing, fingering your ass while you masturbate, working up to two and then three fingers as you get comfortable with the first, then a dildo or a butt plug, and get comfortable and familiar with it before trying to have sex with your boyfriend.

lucylucy97
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by lucylucy97 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:00 pm

thank you guys for all the information you provided, i think the main issue is with my boyfriend since he always tries to force his dick in my ass while having a doggy style sex, for some reason he likes to hear me scream and see me trying to escape, at the same time he expects me to go with it with out fighting back and we might need to break up, how ever i would love to start anal sex on my own and try it, can you please guide me to any educational videos or links and the best toys to start with

thanks

luv2play45
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by luv2play45 » Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:29 pm

This old Marilyn Chambers guide to satisfying anal sex is a good place to start:

https://xhamster.com/movies/3215785/mar ... l_sex.html

Good luck with your anal adventures.

luv2play45
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Re: starting anal sex

Post by luv2play45 » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:08 pm

And here is a book on the subject.

https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-A ... 1573440280

Check out Tristan's web site too.
She is really into teaching women how to have fun with anal sex.

lucylucy97
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Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:43 pm

Re: starting anal sex

Post by lucylucy97 » Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:10 pm

thanks again for all this information and you help, i was able to start doing anal sex and i am liking it, tonight i will sleep with my small plug on, any idias how to make it as surprise to my boyfriend

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