Anal Only Lifestyle Forum

Hello, I'm 35 yr old female. Happily (more so since we started having anal) married. My husband and I just started having anal sex and it is amazing. I wasn't open to it for the longest time since the first guy that did it to me was a freaking jerk. But the other night my hubby (who was pretty drunk at the time) was eating my pussy and just slipped a few fingers in there and oh my god! He wanted to put his cock in there but we were totally unprepared and it didn't go...but a few days later (with some help from some lube) it went right in and although it did hurt a bit a first he took it slow and eventually was able to go at it...but not for too long as he couldn't hold back . Sorry if this should go in the intro's but I need some advice...

Anyway we have been having anal a lot since then, like just about every time we have sex, which has gone from 1 - 2 times a week to 4 - 5. I just can't seem to get enough! LOL. It isn't always just anal but more times than not he ends up fucking my ass and I can't complain...nor is he.

My question is I would like to somehow incorporate a vibrator for my clit. He is a slightly insecure guy (god bless him) and I am worried about insulting him or making him think that he isn't getting the job done. Which he totally is. We tried a dp last night plug in my ass and him in my pussy and it was totally great for me and judging by the sounds he was making he liked it too. And the best part (well, maybe not the best part) was when we were done with that he was able to penetrate my ass all the way (with just a little bit of discomfort) and bang as hard as he could. Gotta love those plugs.

So guys/gals what do you think, should I just get one and bring it out during the heat of the moment? Or should I ask him about it first? He (and I) can be a bit shy when it comes to talking about stuff like this. I ordered the butt plugs and some lube (which we almost never use since I can provide more than needed just by thinking about him taking my ass) almost immediately after out first time and told him about it later, he seems to like using them on me. Again, I just don't want to make him feel inadequate. I do know that he loves to watch me play with myself and get myself off. I know no surprise there.

Thanks so much for any advice! This is such a wonderful site and makes anyone feel open and welcome.

Ask him. I would not expect him to receive this as a sign of a weakness on his side. I would say that is women thinking applied to a man, a man usually would think "wow, this gets better and better" - and after all, feeling a woman orgasm when penetrating her in the rear entry is something he will enjoy

Bringing masturbation into the lovemaking scene can always be complicated.

If he enjoys seeing you get yourself off then the vibrator on itself won't be a problem (unless you're talking about incorporating it during intercourse). If this is what you mean, then the main issue becomes whether you need it or just want it to diversify things, e.g., let's say you can't cum without the vibrator or without masturbating yourself — then it's a problem. If not, i.e., if you don't need it (it isn't essential, indispensable, etc.) then it won't be taking anyone's place so he probably won't mind.

I'm curious about one thing, though; why did you say

alljazzedup wrote:He is a slightly insecure guy (god bless him)

Thank you both for your thoughts on this. Maybe it isn't as big of a deal as I thought.

I would say it is more just to add a bit of variety to things. I don't need to masturbate or use a vibrator to get off. He gets me off just fine and I can have a orgasm from him just banging my ass as well.

To answer your question analonly, I said that to tell people that he can be a bit insecure sometimes. Which doesn't bother me except that he should know that he gets the job done and I don't in anyway want him to think that he doesn't. Or to make him think that I think he needs "help".

I guess if I approach it in a way that it is more for variety and fun it shouldn't be a huge deal.

alljazzedup wrote:To answer your question analonly, I said that to tell people that he can be a bit insecure sometimes. Which doesn't bother me except that he should know that he gets the job done and I don't in anyway want him to think that he doesn't. Or to make him think that I think he needs "help".

I THINK I understood.

Yeah, given what you said I believe it won't be much of an issue. Good luck, tells us how it went afterwards.

I introduced my wife to vibrators and anal sex and she loves both.
Unlike you she cannot cum from anal without using her vibrator.
I like to see her satisfied so I have no ego problems with her stimulating her clit while I bang her ass.

She started out with a small battery powered one called a Pocket Rocket but since it takes her awhile to achieve orgasm and she usually goes for a 2nd or 3rd the battery would give out before we were done (I know, what a problem to have).

She moved on to a Whal corded vibrator many years ago which works well for her.

What might help him accept it is for him to use the vibrator on you, rather than you using it on yourself. That way it's a thing he's doing to you. And depending on angle, size of the toy etc, he may be able to feel the vibration too.

My Baby GIrl primarily orgasms with a pocket rocket on her clit. I tell her that the orgasms are more reliable when I am inside her ass. She calls me an ass demon.

alljazzedup wrote:
. I ordered the butt plugs and some lube (which we almost never use since I can provide more than needed just by thinking about him taking my ass) .

Time out. Any physician or anatomist will tell you that the anus produces very little natural lubricant, so what's going on with you?

Looks like you have some reading to do, AllJazzed. Although it's pretty rare there are some people who produce enough rectal mucus (which every healthy body has) to serve as lube.

In my limited experience it seems more likely to happen when there's plenty of penetration going on so perhaps it's some kind of protection mechanism.