Dating dilemma

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
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*DH*
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2016 3:59 pm
Gender: Male

Dating dilemma

Post by *DH* » Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:04 pm

Hey everyone,

It's been forever since I've posted here, so I'm glad to see the community is still good and strong. I'd like to pose a question to all, as I'm sure many of you may have run into this same scenario.
I've been on a streak of meeting women who all were at least open to anal (and grew to like it with my guidance). My streak has slowed now, and I recently met someone that I actually really enjoy spending time with and may be willing to go steady for...except for one major problem: she's not open to anal. Now, that isn't to say that getting her into it is impossible - but my experience so far tells me that I'd be taking a huge gamble when there isn't at least some intrinsic openness or curiosity for me to work with, and I feel that the odds of introducing someone to it successfully are low when the mindset against it is so strong.
So, my question to you all: how do you approach that situation? On one hand, I like this woman and would hope she might loosen up over time (she's into the mild S&M that I've introduced her to), but the last thing I want is to form attachment to someone who may never be able to fulfill my need for anal activity. I'm not even asking for AO, but I've come to accept that regular anal play/sex is important for my sexual satisfaction. I can't help but feel petty for considering this so strongly in my decision to go steady or not, especially since she otherwise seems like she would be good for me...

Your thoughts on this would be really appreciated.
DH

AnnoMundi
Posts: 148
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Dating dilemma

Post by AnnoMundi » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:35 am

I'd say it depends on how much importance you place on having anal sex. Is this a deal breaker or not? Can you live in a relationship that has no chance of anal sex whatsoever? If yes, continue, if not then I'd say have a good heart to heart with this woman. Say that you really like her and want to proceed with her and build a life together, but that anal sex is very important to you. Tell her that its not just a fetish, but that you feel the most intimate and connected to a woman when the two of you are engaged in anal sex, and that you feel nothing with vaginal. Since you're not aiming for AO you can ease her mind with that. Try to find out why she's resistant to anal. Religion? Bad experience? Or just plain prejudice. Once you find out the why work on that. Give her all the time and love to get used to the idea. But above all, be very clear that you are being honest with her, that there is no trickery, but that this is a deal breaker to you.

If that is what you really really want.

Simba
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:15 am
Gender: Male

Re: Dating dilemma

Post by Simba » Mon Oct 30, 2017 1:22 am

I would tease her by licking her ass hole regularly during foreplay, when it feels natural and she's excited (maybe bound, if you're into that). Don't follow it up with anything, just use her to having her ass hole solicited during sex.

With time, they generally react more and more positively to the point that you can finger her a bit. And then you can progress from there.

*DH*
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2016 3:59 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Dating dilemma

Post by *DH* » Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:20 am

Thanks for the advice guys - both approaches sound very good, and I do have experience with your technique Simba.
Update on the situation - things fell apart for other reasons, so it looks like my dilemma took care of itself. On to the next one.

Simba
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:15 am
Gender: Male

Re: Dating dilemma

Post by Simba » Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:37 am

Oh, I hope you'll find the partner of your dreams soon!

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marjan
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:09 am
Gender: Male

Re: Dating dilemma

Post by marjan » Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:16 am

Use the help of an enema. it might be that she is just irremediably ashamed of having sex in a dirty environment. You might enjoy giving her the enema (if she lets you join). As soon as she then would be perfectly clean, she might find it easier to open her assrose for you.

Should she ask you whether you would ever cheat on her you could say no, provided that you let me fuck you in your ass at least every now and then. This might in your case not be any kind of blackmailing but just the truth. So it will be easier for her to please you once she will know what your real needs are. And she can take her part of your joint decision - thinking whether she can take you as you are including your anal preference or not. Some people at the early stage of a love affair have to tell an unpleasant truth such as "I have a dement daddy, I was in jail, I have debts, I have third teeth, etc." such things can be hard to admit but should rather be made clear at an early stage. Once your partner knows it and has agreed, you will find that the love between you has only grown stronger.

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