Second try... need advice
- French Lover
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:21 pm
- Location: Paris, France
Second try... need advice
Hello everybody,
4 years after the first anal attempt with my girlfriend who is now engaged with me... She agreed to have a new try!
She was not against anal sex. Since the first attempt was really painful for her, she was sure it would always be like this.
For 1 year and a half, we have been living in different countries (I'm in France and she is in China), but she will be coming back in 5 months. We will be able to recover for 2 years of distance.
In 4 years of relationship, her endometriosis has lead her libido to a very low point. We do very little sex even when we met (three times a year). She is not confortable with vaginal sex: her pussy quickly get sore and there are few positions she can enjoy. She don't like me to come out of her, so we are at a point we got a problem only anal would solve (since she hates blowjobs...).
So we agreed to try to switch from vaginal to anal... but I have to find a way for this switch to be the success we need to enjoy our sex life.
The question is: how can I prepare her for her "second first anal experience"? This is my idea, so I would bear the blame of failing to do it without any pain for her.
The first time, she was very aroused by the idea of going anal. She asked me several times to take her ass. But she didn't like the finger in her ass... And she didn't like sex toys either. I thought I could give her vaginal pleasure to make her comfortable enough for anal, since she was begging for it. And it was a huge disaster... I used a lot of lube, so I slipped in her ass quickly and easily... too quickly and too easily.
This time, what is your advice to make this situation both comfortable and painless... without using fingers or toys. I will try to use fingers, but I don't know if there could be another technique, for exemple with my tongue, or with indirect relaxation.
4 years after the first anal attempt with my girlfriend who is now engaged with me... She agreed to have a new try!
She was not against anal sex. Since the first attempt was really painful for her, she was sure it would always be like this.
For 1 year and a half, we have been living in different countries (I'm in France and she is in China), but she will be coming back in 5 months. We will be able to recover for 2 years of distance.
In 4 years of relationship, her endometriosis has lead her libido to a very low point. We do very little sex even when we met (three times a year). She is not confortable with vaginal sex: her pussy quickly get sore and there are few positions she can enjoy. She don't like me to come out of her, so we are at a point we got a problem only anal would solve (since she hates blowjobs...).
So we agreed to try to switch from vaginal to anal... but I have to find a way for this switch to be the success we need to enjoy our sex life.
The question is: how can I prepare her for her "second first anal experience"? This is my idea, so I would bear the blame of failing to do it without any pain for her.
The first time, she was very aroused by the idea of going anal. She asked me several times to take her ass. But she didn't like the finger in her ass... And she didn't like sex toys either. I thought I could give her vaginal pleasure to make her comfortable enough for anal, since she was begging for it. And it was a huge disaster... I used a lot of lube, so I slipped in her ass quickly and easily... too quickly and too easily.
This time, what is your advice to make this situation both comfortable and painless... without using fingers or toys. I will try to use fingers, but I don't know if there could be another technique, for exemple with my tongue, or with indirect relaxation.
Re: Second try... need advice
Hello FL.
I'm confused as I thought you'd already been over/through this with your girlfriend and that she was dead set against it. I know it's hard for someone like you, who, like me needs anal as part of a sexual relationship. But unless she's had some kind of revelation I don't see how it can turn around for your advantage. Or hers.
If you try again it may be the "straw that broke the camels back". But if you insist, then given your history and experience, how can anyone advise you? You're not new to any of this, after all.
Whatever, I wish you all the best.
I'm confused as I thought you'd already been over/through this with your girlfriend and that she was dead set against it. I know it's hard for someone like you, who, like me needs anal as part of a sexual relationship. But unless she's had some kind of revelation I don't see how it can turn around for your advantage. Or hers.
If you try again it may be the "straw that broke the camels back". But if you insist, then given your history and experience, how can anyone advise you? You're not new to any of this, after all.
Whatever, I wish you all the best.
Re: Second try... need advice
Hows it going? did she try anal with you again?
- French Lover
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:21 pm
- Location: Paris, France
Re: Second try... need advice
We was willing to... but we had other troubles. Now we have broken up. I'm back to be a single man after 4 years and half of relationship
Well well... Let's see what the future have in stock.
Well well... Let's see what the future have in stock.
Re: Second try... need advice
The good news is most girls are wiling to fuck more than 3 times a year.
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- Posts: 22
- Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2014 9:50 am
Re: Second try... need advice
French Lover wrote:We was willing to... but we had other troubles. Now we have broken up. I'm back to be a single man after 4 years and half of relationship
Sorry to hear about your breakup. Personally I don't see how people ever make long distance relationships work, especially in the early stages. Maybe this is a good thing because it will free you up to find a girlfriend closer to home. Anyway I wish you the best.
- French Lover
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:21 pm
- Location: Paris, France
Re: Second try... need advice
I do not want any girlfriend for now. This story is too much painful for me. Thinking about being with another woman is still not attractive to me.
I'd wish we could have married. But there is a moment when you realize you can not live happy with your lover, and have to leave him/her... even if there's still love.
I'd wish we could have married. But there is a moment when you realize you can not live happy with your lover, and have to leave him/her... even if there's still love.
Re: Second try... need advice
I'm so sorry for you French Lover. It always takes time to heal.
And some people say we are obsessed with anal... Nothing without the right person.
And some people say we are obsessed with anal... Nothing without the right person.