How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
strick9
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Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2021 11:51 am
Gender: Couple

How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by strick9 » Fri Sep 10, 2021 12:11 pm

Some background is needed here. Past bad experiences with men have led me to loathe penetration. I've also got vaginismus. I've given my bf handjobs and blowjobs, but I don't really get much out of it alone. There's some light BDSM in our relationship where we take turns switching.

It started last year when he told me about his strong fetish for anal sex. We started watching a bunch of anal porn together and tried some anal during lockdown. However, I can't just get the hang of it. Even though it's not vaginal, I still get anxiety when I'm being penetrated. My body clenches and shakes. It's a bad experience for both of us. He felt super bad about it, so I was able to convince him to try it out himself. I pegged him once, and he enjoyed it mildly. Something about pegging him made me feel super powerful in a way that I haven't felt with anything else. I instantly fell in love. Since then, we've tried pegging a bunch more times, but it always take a while to get him into bed.

I came across this forum, and the more I read, the more it makes sense to make our relationship anal only on his end. Pegging is the only type of penetrative sex that both of us enjoy. I don't neglect his penis when pegging him. I give him handjobs throughout but he still doesn't leap at anal sex. One thing is he fears seeming gay or girly. I think he needs to commit and get over it. How do I convince him that this is the best thing for both of us and he should just accept it?

thongeveryday
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Location: Oklahoma

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by thongeveryday » Sat Sep 11, 2021 6:37 am

Perhaps if you could learn to let your guard down a little, he might be able to do the same. Could you be plugged at the same time? Or, perhaps use a feeldo? That is the dildo that penetrates your vagina the same time as his ass because it is double ended.

FarmerDan
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Location: Northern NSW Australia
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Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by FarmerDan » Sat Sep 11, 2021 11:51 am

Congratulations on thinking outside the box (so to speak!) in search of a fulfilling sexual relationship.

If you're doing anal sex you're actually more likely to be in a hetero relationship than a gay one (explanation if you're interested) and in recent years there has been a huge surge in interest in women pegging guys. I hear it's one of the most popular requests at our local brothel.

You can help to set his mind at rest by looking around Reddit and FetLife, where there is lots of discussion and lots of straight guys looking to participate. Look out for Ruby Ryder, who runs seminars and has a web site.

He may still be coming to terms with the concept of being penetrated. Take your time! Lots of foreplay and discussion. With your help he'll become the anal enthusiast you're hoping for.
It's a lifestyle folks not a 2 minute sprint

clouds
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:56 pm
Gender: Couple

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by clouds » Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:31 pm

If he's really open to anal pleasure there are a few things you could try. Enjoying butt stuff has absolutely nothing to do with your sexual orientation or gender btw! But him wanting it really is key imho. To improve the experience:
- He could do solo anal masturbation to find out what works for him
- Let him control things like position, tempo etc. Even though he's receiving he can feel in charge / be dominant.
- Only use ass for pleasure for a certain time, ignoring penis/clit ->improves pleasure (could work for both of you)
- Give him time and don't push too much. Enjoy it when it happens and tell him how great it is for you. The more he enjoys it the more he will want it which is great for you :)

SoSad
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:44 am

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by SoSad » Mon Sep 27, 2021 4:18 am

"Break up" with him and help him find a boyfriend. He should want a man and a penis, not a woman and a "dildo". So-called "pegging" and "straight" acts are gross. If you're a woman, find a girlfriend so you can play with "dildos".

Note: Doesn't matter if you're so-called "straight". If there is "free will", you can go against your "sexuality" and "urges". You can try not to act on your "sexuality". If there is no "free will", then you're nothing but a robot one can do whatever they want with, and you can not claim that beating you up so you change your "sexuality" and go against your "sexuality" is "bad" or "immoral" because nothing is immoral in a world in which "free will" doesn't exist.

Quebass
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 12:39 am

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by Quebass » Fri Oct 01, 2021 4:14 am

Hi,

My girlfriend started pegging me and we never looked back. The first time we used a feeldoe and with a minute we were both cuming like crazy and with absolutely no touching. I was on top and couldn't believe how much cum I shot on her tits and tummy.
From then on we would do some cock touching but over time we realised this wasn't necessary. We also moved the female end of the feeldoe from her pussy to her ass. Even if we start with me not erect and I'm on top she loves to watch my cock get hard as she trusts. She'll always make a comment when my cock is hard a nail by telling my how much I love it in the ass.
We also really enjoy placing 2 suction cup dildos close together and we sit on them with my cock bouncing up and down on her pussy. This kinda bear hug position is great for kissing and hugging and also for leaning back and watching her swollen pussy and the dildo going in her ass. Yum

strick9
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2021 11:51 am
Gender: Couple

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by strick9 » Mon Oct 04, 2021 5:21 pm

Thanks for all the advice!

thongeveryday wrote:
Sat Sep 11, 2021 6:37 am
Perhaps if you could learn to let your guard down a little, he might be able to do the same. Could you be plugged at the same time? Or, perhaps use a feeldo? That is the dildo that penetrates your vagina the same time as his ass because it is double ended.

I've since tried a small buttplug during sex but I don't notice it in a good way. If I liked vaginal penetration, maybe it'd feel a lot better? I don't use dildos so I guess a feeldo probably would not help. The one dildo I own is gathering mothballs in the closet.
FarmerDan wrote:
Sat Sep 11, 2021 11:51 am

He may still be coming to terms with the concept of being penetrated. Take your time! Lots of foreplay and discussion. With your help he'll become the anal enthusiast you're hoping for.

We've only done it twice in the last month, but that's two times more than we did it the month before! I think I'm gradually making him come around.
SoSad wrote:
Mon Sep 27, 2021 4:18 am
"Break up" with him and help him find a boyfriend. He should want a man and a penis, not a woman and a "dildo". So-called "pegging" and "straight" acts are gross. If you're a woman, find a girlfriend so you can play with "dildos".

Note: Doesn't matter if you're so-called "straight". If there is "free will", you can go against your "sexuality" and "urges". You can try not to act on your "sexuality". If there is no "free will", then you're nothing but a robot one can do whatever they want with, and you can not claim that beating you up so you change your "sexuality" and go against your "sexuality" is "bad" or "immoral" because nothing is immoral in a world in which "free will" doesn't exist.

What drugs are you on? We're both straight.

strick9
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2021 11:51 am
Gender: Couple

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by strick9 » Mon Oct 04, 2021 5:24 pm

clouds wrote:
Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:31 pm
- Only use ass for pleasure for a certain time, ignoring penis/clit ->improves pleasure (could work for both of you)

Does this actually work? He's not into chastity in any case. If I don't have non-penetrative sex with him, he will watch porn and get himself off. Unlike some girls I'm fine with that. It's a fine line to make him keep the right amount of interest in our sex.

clouds
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:56 pm
Gender: Couple

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by clouds » Tue Oct 05, 2021 5:19 am

strick9 wrote:
Mon Oct 04, 2021 5:24 pm
clouds wrote:
Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:31 pm
- Only use ass for pleasure for a certain time, ignoring penis/clit ->improves pleasure (could work for both of you)

Does this actually work? He's not into chastity in any case. If I don't have non-penetrative sex with him, he will watch porn and get himself off. Unlike some girls I'm fine with that. It's a fine line to make him keep the right amount of interest in our sex.

Well, in that case I would first recommend to him to reduce his porn consumption or even stop for a while. I was addicted to porn many many years and it's a very simple concept imho: The more you watch porn, the less good actual sexual interactions feel, because your brain gets desensitized. Doesn't matter which sexual act... But that's a different topic :D
Now every person is different, but for me not using my penis when having anal is not about chastity or denial (which is fine, can be fun too ofc) it's about increasing pleasure. My anal pleasure totally skyrocketed after ignoring my penis for a while, so yes it can absolutely work (many men and women on this forum had similar experiences btw) to the point where you can orgasm just from anal stimulation (even ejaculate as a man). But you have to give your body time to learn and readjust and you have to wanna do it of course. I suggest starting with something small, some kind of anal stimulation that you know feels good when you are turned on. And then just enjoying that feeling, like "relax into it"... unlike a porn induced jerking-off orgasm you can't force anal pleasure, you kinda have to let it happen 8-)

SoSad
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:44 am

Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to be anal only (receiving)?

Post by SoSad » Tue Oct 05, 2021 5:30 am

strick9 wrote:
Mon Oct 04, 2021 5:21 pm

What drugs are you on? We're both straight.

That's the part you both should change ...

And I don't believe anyone's "straight", but I digress.

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