First, anal is a somewhat fetish for me and not at all for my wife. She is also not a "giving" lover. For example, blowjobs are a chore. She has anal entirely because it feels good. Second, we are both tall and I am moderately well endowed (7.5"), information shared because I think it's relevant to why something might work differently for me than others. Third, after a clitoral orgasm she has a long refractory period and rarely can have a second but can continue to have essentially infinite vaginal orgasms.
How the anal only orgasms happen: we work up to anal and she cums clitorally quickly. After she's warmed up, multiple positions work for anal orgasms but they have a common theme: I have my dick pointed up toward her vagina as far as I can, I am as deep as possible, and I am going at least moderately fast. I essentially adjust slightly from that starting point until she says something like "oh there" and don't change anything about what I'm doing until she starts cumming. She has described it like there is some narrow window and any change makes me miss it again. The easiest position to make this work is missionary with her butt propped up and feet by her ears. While she has cum from just anal (no hands/toys on clit) with more shallow or differently angled positions, there has always been some contact where my body is rubbing against her clit.
Why I think this works: anal sex can stimulate the inside of the vagina by causing the walls to rub together and deep anal sex catches a spot below the cervix that a lot of women who have vaginal orgasms seem to enjoy. I also noticed she cums more easily when she has to pee as well. This combined with missionary position pushes the back of the vagina/cervix further down and makes it easier to reach.
What I'm curious about: are other people getting anal only orgasms another way? I understand rare people can orgasm from things like nipple play or even just mental stimulation so in the same way exclusively stimulating only the anus or penetration pointed away from the vagina might result in an orgasm but otherwise I don't see how it would work. I suspect at least some of the examples of clit denial leading to anal orgasms are actually just getting the clit so sensitive that the woman cums from subtle unintended rubbing. What do the people of this board, who obviously are very focused on this issue, think? I'm especially interested in female perspective but open to all.
Prior to anal only the last four years, she would have intense clitoral orgasms and experience a refractory period where her entire body is sensitive to touch. Now, she experiences multiple anal orgasms and tells me she loves penetration after her anal orgasm or two. She never orgasmed from vaginal penetration which is why we became anal only.
She will stimulate her clit with a vibrator during anal until she knows she’s close to cumming. She will toss the vibrator aside and experience the anal orgasm without clit stimulation. Depending on where she is at in her hormonal cycle, she often squirts during anal sex.
As far as positions her preference is definitely from behind and after extended play, she will orgasm within minutes of me penetrating her. Then I have her lay on her back with her legs pulled towards her head. I enjoy the deepest penetration possible and I feel I get deepest in missionary. I love watching her face and I can also see when she squirts. The visual is as important to me as the feeling and I can change angles easily. As you mentioned, she is turned on when my cock is angled towards her cervix and will often have a second anal orgasm in missionary position.
My wife only wants anal because it feels good and she has incredible orgasms. My orgasms are stronger and longer because of how she responds to anal sex. This weekend she demanded vaginal penetration as it’s been six months or longer since we started with vaginal (it always ends with anal). After some extended anal play, she asked me to fuck her ass. Not sure what she does this because she really loves anal.
When anyone on a forum asks me what’s so great about anal sex the answer is easy… it’s all about the orgasms… hers and mine. Not sure if I answered your questions but I loved your post and wanted to relate our experiences with orgasms and positions.
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The external clit orgasms are focused and intense while her anal orgasms are a full body experience with tingling up the spine. I’ve also read anal orgasm can result from pressure on the pudendal nerve that be stimulated during anal sex.
Irrespective of the nature of anal orgasms, they are very real and very powerful. They are also the reason we’ve become anal only. It was life changing for both of us when she orgasmed within minutes of the first time I penetrated her anally.