Is an anal addiction healthy?

[Ryker]

Hi, this is probably the wrong place to ask for advice on this but would like to hear opinions on all sides be it pro anal or anti anal.

*warning* ps for the essay

Context:

I am a M (26yo) and my AO partner is F (26yo)
We have been AO for around 2 years.

I first got into anal in my early 20s, I first watched anal porn even earlier in my teens but my first sexual experiences did not have anal or close to it, Only vaginal with condoms.

My first anal sex experience was when I was 22 and in a drunken stupor, after clubbing, an older women in her early 30s slipped it in and I only noticed after the deed and I could not really tell at the time that we had anal sex. The morning after she asked me if I wanted to be her anal fuck buddy and I agreed.

This went on for a couple months and our subsequent anal sex sessions were bareback after we did basic STD tests. (I was very paranoid about not using a condom, better be safe than sorry) and bareback it was a completely different experience. The sphincter contractions were amazing and also it was kind of taboo especially where I live where people are very conservative. I felt special probably being the only person in my clique who had done anal or do it regularly.

Unfortunately, things got busier between the two of us and she eventually ghosted me and I lost my anal partner. However I was hooked. I no longer had any attraction to vaginal sex or porn to unload and had to eventually had to watch anal only porn to get off. Being from a conservative area, I didn't feel comfortable initiating anal sex with partners due to the fear or getting rejected or being disgusted by the thought of it.

So fast forward 1.5 years and I got into a relationship with a girl however, I did not disclose about my anal addiction to her initially. She had a few partners and relationships before me but surprisingly she hadn't had an orgasm before. I managed to get her to her first orgasm by fingering her and I thought perhaps helping her explore sexual satisfaction would wean me off my anal preference but it did not. I still did not get any sexual gratification from vaginal sex and could only cum from BJs. After a few months being conflicted about being afraid of ruining our relationship dynamic vs having a fruitful sexual life, I decided to confront her about my sexual preference and she agreed to try anal.

First few attempts was pretty uncomfortable for her but she slowly managed to get used to it and had her first anal orgasm through anal stimulation. I remember fingering her and she was convulsing way longer and stronger than vaginal orgasm and her outlook on anal changed completely, normally after a single vaginal orgasm she was spent but as we did more anal, she would have multiple anal orgasms throughout the session and it felt way better and stronger.

Personally I do find her pussy extremely tight as well so its not just anal that feels good but also the taboo aspect and the journey of her learning how to dirty talk makes anal so sensual. She was raised pretty conservative as well so I had to teach her how to dirty talk however she picked it up quick and was getting into even dirtier and nastier talk than I would do and it was so soooo hot. We had dirty talk pacts to never touch her pussy and I could only cum in her ass that went on for a few months and we would only do anal but never really had a talk about going AO although we just pretty much only did anal. After reiterating that I did not feel anything sensual from her vagina and she cheekily disclosed that she honestly wanted to only have anal since it just felt better. "Why waste time on my vagina when you don't feel good and I prefer anal orgasms anyway"

Our dirty talk became reality and we "officially" became AO.

That was about 2 years ago and we are happily AO, never looked back. We would have anal she'd cum multiple times per session and she loves it more than anything.

However as every relationship goes, there's up and downs, not sexual wise but just emotional and what not. When we argue, she would claim I'm responsible for her being AO and i'd never get anal without her.

I have always believed in doing things in moderation and it dawned on me that I was a full on anal addict. However being in a small conservative country and friends' impressions and the stigma of going to a sex therapist I'm not sure if i'm fully comfortable just embracing my anal vice.

Probably not the best thing to do but I did envision if we broke up (TOUCH WOOD). Questions popped up whether if I would find another AO partner, (probably not as girls here are very traditional, I think I lucked out with how open and understanding my GF is) Would I be able to bring up my addiction to my next partner?

Opening up to my partner to be AO was one of the most nerve wrecking things i've done even though it probably shouldn't be. Maybe me thinking of trying to get rid of my anal addiction is a defensive mechanism in the case where things don't work out with my current GF.

While things are going well with her and its smooth sailing, sometimes these thoughts reoccur in the back of my mind when we have a quarrel. I'm not sure if you guys have ever thought about things like this.

Not sure if it's even an addiction? Both of us just prefer it and do it because it feels better, plain and simple.

When does it go from preference to addiction? I know i'm extremely lucky to be in an AO relationship but should I be worried if I can't stop being AO?

Have any men / women here been in an AO and managed to have regain an attraction to regular sex? Should I be worried about being not attracted to regular sex?

I know I am probably younger than most users here so I would like to gain some wisdom and knowledge from the more experienced folks here.

Should I embrace my anal preference and if I have to find another partner, try to become AO if she is also interested in it or just conform to 90%+ of the population and try to feel pleasure from regular sex again? I feel it would be very obvious and awkward if I got into a new relationship and they would know i'm just not feeling it from vaginal."

I'm not sure if i'm selfish about thinking about things this way and the WHAT IFs when i'm still happily in an AO relationship.

TO REITERATE I have no intention of breaking off our relationship and currently as things stand I do want to wife her up in a couple years.

Thanks for reading through everything if you made it here. XD

You can DM me if you don't feel comfortable replying in a public space. All advice is welcome and appreciated, male or female.

[Backdoorlover]

I see the rant of an overthinker. Don’t do it.

Just enjoy this time in your life and if matters change, you will too.

[Ryker]

I see the rant of an overthinker. Don’t do it.

Just enjoy this time in your life and if matters change, you will too.

Thank you, I am currently trying to kick a nicotine addiction and pardon my language but its fucking hard to kick addictions. I still don't know if its an anal preference or addiction but knowing how dangerous addictions can be, I just want to be make sure my life is balanced.

I've never talked about anal to anyone and I'm glad there's a community that there's no stigma on it.

It's really about perspective, like I question is it "OK" to want lots of anal and just anal but I didnt think about that before I did anal.

I guess society has conditioned vaginal to be the standard so you don't go thinking is it "OK" to want to have more vaginal.

Yeah I am probably just overthinking things.

[Ozzy]

Be a little distant and mysterious. Do things she doesn't participate in and (in preference) that she doesn't have a clue about. Keep in mind that she has to admire you to have sexual interest in you. Have your own life and pursue your own things. Don't have too much contact with her. Have a very interesting life apart from her. What are you good at? Art, sports, technology... go for it. This is not called "playing games". It's about understanding that every succesful relationship needs 2 things: Distance and mistery.

[Colt1911]

The word “addiction” normally implies some kind of negative consequence. I can’t thInk of one negative consequence associated with an obsession for anal sex between two consenting adults. None. We’ve been anal only for five years this month.

A traditional Catholic girl, she initially felt guilty because it was so good and if it felt that good it must be wrong! One time we were driving to a hiking trail and she said “we don’t always have to have anal sex”. I replied that if it feels better than vaginal sex why not just enjoy the experience. I was driving and when I looked at her she had a big smile on her face. It was what she wanted to hear.

Like your girlfriend, my wife couldn’t orgasm during anal penetration. I gave her plenty of clitoral orgasms, but the first time I penetrated her anally she had a powerful anal orgasm. After that experience we were both hooked. A handful of times in the last five years she’d ask for vaginal penetration, but quickly asked for anal penetration after a few minutes. I think she wants to confirm anal is better.

I’ll summarize this way… anal addiction is the second best thing that’s happened to us in our 41 years of marriage. The best thing is the children we brought into this world. The only “Catholic guilt” she carries now is her fear if we both perish at the same time our adult children will discover a tool bag filled with anal toys and plugs! I know my son and son in law would have a big smile on their face knowing we really dig anal sex.

Cast away any guilt and concern and enjoy what you both love to do. To deny her anal sex is to deny her powerful orgasms she never had before anal sex. Congrats on your anal only relationship. Our only regret is not having discovered it sooner in our relationship.

[hasani2222]

You should embrace loving anal sex. Out of all the "addictions" in the world, it's a pretty damn healthy one. You're having sexual fun with a consenting woman. You deserve to receive whatever kind of pleasure you request and she's willing to grant. Too many men in this world get no anal or even no blowjobs on a regular basis. Not the kind of life I want to have.

I would see if you can function without thinking or engaging in anal for a few days or weeks. If you find yourself obsessing over it, take a break. Otherwise go full speed. You're young, I wouldn't tell you to leave your current girlfriend. However, if things dry up just know there are plenty of girls to assfuck out there.