So my wife and I have had a very complicated sex life. To make a long story short she has several conditions that just make sex painful and likely always will. We pushed through it to have kids but now that we're done we're pretty much done with vaginal sex.
Shes always been apprehensive about anal but I finally convinced her to try it after us doing a lot of researching on it.
We're going super slow, like not even gonna try penetrating on our first or maybe even 2nd try due to her painful history with penetration. I think we're just gonna start by touching, massaging and MAYBE some licking if she's okay with it.
Does anyone have any advice on massaging the asshole that doesn't involve inserting anything? Are there any good videos? (I can't find any good videos)
Starting anal with wife
Re: Starting anal with wife
Not sure about videos, but gently circle your finger around her hole. VERY light touches. If you do this to yourself you’ll be better prepared to do it with her. You may also want to stimulate her clit while “tickling” her hole. As she becomes comfortable with this, take a finger and press on her hole without actually trying to penetrate it. Alternate between gently circling and pressing. Take your time. You may want to do this while touching her clit and give her a clitoral orgasm.
When she’s comfortable with the feeling of touching her hole, ask her if you can gently insert a finger with lube. Only penetrate her first, outer sphincter with your finger as this is the easiest of the sphincters to penetrate. Again, just focus on that. She may be able to relax her sphincter enough to pass your finger past her inner sphincter, but again, go slow. Stimulate her clit as this can help her relax.
It could be a time consuming effort, but the payback for BOTH of you is well worth the time. When she’s laying on her back, you can take your finger and actually stimulate her g-spot through her rectum by curling your finger up towards her cervix in a “come hither” like motion. If you get this far, it’s time to get a small toy to help her learn how to relax and take something larger than a finger.
I wish you luck on your journey. My wife often found vaginal penetration uncomfortable and couldn’t orgasm except for clit stimulation. It was a game changer when we had anal sex five years ago and she discovered anal orgasms. We haven’t looked back since. Everyone here is happy to offer you advice. Let us know how it goes.
When she’s comfortable with the feeling of touching her hole, ask her if you can gently insert a finger with lube. Only penetrate her first, outer sphincter with your finger as this is the easiest of the sphincters to penetrate. Again, just focus on that. She may be able to relax her sphincter enough to pass your finger past her inner sphincter, but again, go slow. Stimulate her clit as this can help her relax.
It could be a time consuming effort, but the payback for BOTH of you is well worth the time. When she’s laying on her back, you can take your finger and actually stimulate her g-spot through her rectum by curling your finger up towards her cervix in a “come hither” like motion. If you get this far, it’s time to get a small toy to help her learn how to relax and take something larger than a finger.
I wish you luck on your journey. My wife often found vaginal penetration uncomfortable and couldn’t orgasm except for clit stimulation. It was a game changer when we had anal sex five years ago and she discovered anal orgasms. We haven’t looked back since. Everyone here is happy to offer you advice. Let us know how it goes.
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Re: Starting anal with wife
Colt1911 has good advice and if you want to succeed, accept it. Go very slowly in this realm and you could be rewarded handsomely. Too many of us guys get too turned on and go too quickly which is not typically great for your partner (I suppose this is true with PIV sex too). Take your time every time and go just a bit further and delay penetration and this may take months.
Many women enjoy anal play without penetration so use this to your advantage and just play for a while; she may end up craving penetration and asking for it. Since you are married you have no room to screw up. Please trust me as I have learned from experience, go very, very slowly.
Many women enjoy anal play without penetration so use this to your advantage and just play for a while; she may end up craving penetration and asking for it. Since you are married you have no room to screw up. Please trust me as I have learned from experience, go very, very slowly.
