How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
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Curiousaboutbutts
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2023 7:22 am
How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
My boyfriend and I have been together since high school and up until now I've only ever given him blowjobs but recently he told me he really wants to try doing anal. I've read a lot about anal since then and I'm a little nervous to take it up my butt but I also really want to impress him by doing a good job, so I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how I can give him the best experience possible and make sure it's as pleasurable as possible for him? Thanks!
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Backdoorlover
- Posts: 970
- Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2021 11:12 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
I think you are forgetting something here. It needs to be pleasurable for both of you.
So instead of asking this question here, maybe you can have an in dept talk with your boyfriend about you willing to make anal as good as possible for him. Cause any decent boyfriend will then return that favor and try to make it the best possible experience for you. Believe me, if your boyfriend hears you say you not only want to do anal, but you want to give him great anal, he will surely be in heaven.
Talk to him.
So instead of asking this question here, maybe you can have an in dept talk with your boyfriend about you willing to make anal as good as possible for him. Cause any decent boyfriend will then return that favor and try to make it the best possible experience for you. Believe me, if your boyfriend hears you say you not only want to do anal, but you want to give him great anal, he will surely be in heaven.
Talk to him.
Backdoorlover’s quote:
“Ass to mouth is the only right way to have sex”
“Ass to mouth is the only right way to have sex”
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
@Curiousaboutbutts I don’t think you need to worry too much about your boyfriend enjoying the anal experience. As @Backdoorlover mentioned, he should be more concerned about you enjoying the experience. Most of us on this forum, including my wife, love anal sex. It’s most important you as the receiver are ready to make sure you enjoy it. My wife’s anal orgasms are spectacular and I hope you can orgasm from anal.
I suggest you spend time alone and get to know your ass. Gently touch it and insert a finger with lube. Invest in some anal toys and start small. To help you get used to the feeling and experience anal pleasure, rub your clit or use a vibrator. Gradually increase the number of fingers or size of toy. Be patient. It can take some time to get used to the feeling.
When you’re ready for him to penetrate your ass, have him go slow and make sure you use lots of lube. Relax, take deep breaths, and push out like you’re having a bowel movement when he starts to penetrate you. Initial penetration is so erotic Evan after 5+ years of anal only for us. He’ll love it and I hope you do too. Many of us here are happy to offer the advice you need to make this as pleasurable as possible for BOTH of you. Anal sex is the most erotic and pleasurable form of sex I’ve ever experienced. Best of luck on your anal adventure.
I suggest you spend time alone and get to know your ass. Gently touch it and insert a finger with lube. Invest in some anal toys and start small. To help you get used to the feeling and experience anal pleasure, rub your clit or use a vibrator. Gradually increase the number of fingers or size of toy. Be patient. It can take some time to get used to the feeling.
When you’re ready for him to penetrate your ass, have him go slow and make sure you use lots of lube. Relax, take deep breaths, and push out like you’re having a bowel movement when he starts to penetrate you. Initial penetration is so erotic Evan after 5+ years of anal only for us. He’ll love it and I hope you do too. Many of us here are happy to offer the advice you need to make this as pleasurable as possible for BOTH of you. Anal sex is the most erotic and pleasurable form of sex I’ve ever experienced. Best of luck on your anal adventure.
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
Excellent advice so far. I can’t imagine adding much, perhaps reiterating that if he’s a decent boyfriend he will want to do what it takes to help u enjoy it as well.
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
@Curiousaboutbutts many people know their body and simply bathe or shower before anal play and sex. If you’re new to this it might give you more confidence if you cleaned out with a saline enema or bulb of water.
Ask your boyfriend to engage in anal play for a while before he attempts penetration. Small toys or butt plugs help warm and loosen you up. Pleasure can help your sphincter relax and take something thicker. This is a unique muscle and it can make you and your boyfriend very happy with a little experience.
Ask your boyfriend to engage in anal play for a while before he attempts penetration. Small toys or butt plugs help warm and loosen you up. Pleasure can help your sphincter relax and take something thicker. This is a unique muscle and it can make you and your boyfriend very happy with a little experience.
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semi-normal
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2023 11:27 am
- Gender: Male
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
I agree with all of the comments above and will add to them. My lady has never done an enema but always cleans up before play as we both enjoy it when I rim her. Also, play with some toys and lube and it will ease your mind. After years of practice we have learned which toys go first and are useful, and have gravitated towards coconut oil as our favorite lube. Explore before introducing it to your boyfriend; you'll blow his mind.
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
I think this is a journey you two should take together. You can practice on yourself but it's still not like the real thing. Prep together, work together, maybe get some toys, good lube, and see how it goes. No rush. Lots of communication. And work on stretching yourself open so you both can enjoy anal when you are ready.
It's your body, you want to do this the right way.
It's your body, you want to do this the right way.
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
Well, first off it’s essential that you want to try it too - not just something you’re doing for your boyfriend. That’s because there are two sphincters in the anus, not just one. One is under voluntary control and the other is under NONvoluntary control. It’s controlled by the central nervous system. The only way to penetrate the second sphincter without pain is to relax your body. That takes practice, and a desire to. Your boyfriend standing over you barking “relax!” Isn’t going to get you where you need to be. You have to feel calm, safe, and have a burning desire to do it.
Start off by buying a set of anal trainers. I really liked the silicone sets because they’re soft. If you use silicone toys you can’t use a silicone lube though. Water based only. Start by using them by yourself first. Try putting your head and shoulders on the bed and put your ass up in the air to start, and use a vibrator on your clit!!! That’s key!! The tissue around and in the anus is delicate and if you tear (which does happen) it feels like shitting glass for a week. So GO SLOW. If something hurts, stop right away. Try a different angle or just pull back a bit. It’s a process. It took me four months of anal training before I was ready for PIA.
Once you’ve mastered a size by yourself, then involve your boyfriend. That’s what I did with my husband. When I had comfortably mastered a size I would invite him to also play/learn. I did this for a couple of reasons: first, I knew he couldn’t hurt me that badly with the toy if I was already comfortable with it.
And second, it gave him a chance to learn/train and most importantly, gave me a test environment to see if he would actually listen to me when I asked to stop or said “ouch!” I needed to know he would stop right away if something hurt or I needed anything else (like more lube). Basically I needed to know he cared more about me than the act itself so he wouldn’t continue to hurt me when doing it. That’s the trust factor everyone is talking about. You need to KNOW without a doubt that he will stop and you’ll be safe while doing this. THAT is how you’re able to relax and enjoy it. Trust and safety. The keys to an explosive sex life! You’re looking to see if you can trust him. Make sure you order a tube of Dr. Butler’s Hemorrhoid and anal fissure cream to have on hand, because you might tear during PIA or during the training process. I did, and this helps so much!
You both need to learn how to do this the right way because it involves both of you. And porn is NOT how it is in real life. It typically always takes a warm up period.
The reality is that you can be hurt badly doing anal if it’s not done right or you’re doing it with someone who straight doesn’t care about you. You want to know if you can trust your boyfriend or if he’s going to be selfish before he’s standing behind you trying to penetrate your ass.
Better to learn he won’t listen to you or care about you with a small toy than with his dick. Tell your boyfriend that if he doesn’t listen or stop right away when you ask that you will stop anal immediately - every time. Also make it clear that if he wouldn’t abide by this for you, that you will take anal off the table completely. Trust is imperative. Your health and safety are nonnegotiable. And if he really loves you, he won’t put his pleasure over your pain. My husband was always hyper aware of my reactions or responses and gentle with me. He loves ME, not just my asshole.
He also made it really clear in the beginning that he loved our sex life and if at any point I didn’t want to do this or go father he was totally fine with it and he loved me deeply no matter what. And that just made me want to do it more - give him more. When you feel loved and safe you’ll feel comfortable trying almost anything (almost - LOL).
Assuming he is a good guy, it will also give him time to learn. He needs to learn how to be gentle going in, how deep he can go initially, how much lube to use, and health concerns to keep you as safe as possible as well as the importance of listening to you and responding the way you need.
When you’ve mastered the training size closest to his and you’re ready for full penetration with his penis I would suggest you use a silicone lube. It lasts longer, and isn’t absorbed by your body as quickly. Also, your first time trying to take his penis inside you — YOU should be in full control. That will also help you feel safe and comfortable with your first experience.
Choose positions where you can control the speed and depth. In a chair where you slide down him, on top or on your side where you control the speed and depth are all good starting positions.
Talk to him while you’re doing it so he can learn how you like it too. “I love feeling the head slip in. I’m going to keep it right here and adjust to it.” Or “I’m feeling warmed up, I’m going to take you in a few more inches.” Go to where you’re comfortable. This might also take time to get to full penetration. It took a few times before I could take all of him. And I trained diligently.
Even now, a little over a year since we started anal, my body is still adjusting. It takes time to work to fucking like you do with vaginal. In the beginning it would take my body several days (even a week sometimes) to readjust and be able to do it again. We do it twice a week now and I can adjust faster. I also know how to relax my body faster too.
All this to be said - take your time. There’s no rush. Make sure you both read a lot about how to do anal properly before you try PIA penetration if you decide you want to. And last, if at any point you realize that you don’t want to go farther, that’s totally okay! A great sex life is built by two people who find sex acts they both enjoy.
It was my idea to try anal, not my husbands. He slipped a finger in my ass years ago when he was really drunk and I loved it. You have to want to do it in order for it to not hurt. As much as I love anal, I love my husband more. And if he ever told me he didn’t want to do it anymore I’d be okay with it. I’d ask to incorporate toys and find a way to meet in the middle, but I’d never pressure him or make him feel bad - because I love him and our sex life is an expression of the love between us. It’s not transactional. If your boyfriend really loves you, he’ll feel the same. It’s amazing that you even put the effort and gave it a try.
I love anal so much, and I know my husband enjoys it too. There’s no deeper connection between the two of us then when we do it missionary style and are looking into each others eyes. Because of the trust, the gentleness, the love it takes to do something like this as a couple. When he tells me he loves me while he’s gently thrusting into my ass I know deep down I’ll be his forever. What a journey! I wish you all the best!
Start off by buying a set of anal trainers. I really liked the silicone sets because they’re soft. If you use silicone toys you can’t use a silicone lube though. Water based only. Start by using them by yourself first. Try putting your head and shoulders on the bed and put your ass up in the air to start, and use a vibrator on your clit!!! That’s key!! The tissue around and in the anus is delicate and if you tear (which does happen) it feels like shitting glass for a week. So GO SLOW. If something hurts, stop right away. Try a different angle or just pull back a bit. It’s a process. It took me four months of anal training before I was ready for PIA.
Once you’ve mastered a size by yourself, then involve your boyfriend. That’s what I did with my husband. When I had comfortably mastered a size I would invite him to also play/learn. I did this for a couple of reasons: first, I knew he couldn’t hurt me that badly with the toy if I was already comfortable with it.
And second, it gave him a chance to learn/train and most importantly, gave me a test environment to see if he would actually listen to me when I asked to stop or said “ouch!” I needed to know he would stop right away if something hurt or I needed anything else (like more lube). Basically I needed to know he cared more about me than the act itself so he wouldn’t continue to hurt me when doing it. That’s the trust factor everyone is talking about. You need to KNOW without a doubt that he will stop and you’ll be safe while doing this. THAT is how you’re able to relax and enjoy it. Trust and safety. The keys to an explosive sex life! You’re looking to see if you can trust him. Make sure you order a tube of Dr. Butler’s Hemorrhoid and anal fissure cream to have on hand, because you might tear during PIA or during the training process. I did, and this helps so much!
You both need to learn how to do this the right way because it involves both of you. And porn is NOT how it is in real life. It typically always takes a warm up period.
The reality is that you can be hurt badly doing anal if it’s not done right or you’re doing it with someone who straight doesn’t care about you. You want to know if you can trust your boyfriend or if he’s going to be selfish before he’s standing behind you trying to penetrate your ass.
Better to learn he won’t listen to you or care about you with a small toy than with his dick. Tell your boyfriend that if he doesn’t listen or stop right away when you ask that you will stop anal immediately - every time. Also make it clear that if he wouldn’t abide by this for you, that you will take anal off the table completely. Trust is imperative. Your health and safety are nonnegotiable. And if he really loves you, he won’t put his pleasure over your pain. My husband was always hyper aware of my reactions or responses and gentle with me. He loves ME, not just my asshole.
He also made it really clear in the beginning that he loved our sex life and if at any point I didn’t want to do this or go father he was totally fine with it and he loved me deeply no matter what. And that just made me want to do it more - give him more. When you feel loved and safe you’ll feel comfortable trying almost anything (almost - LOL).
Assuming he is a good guy, it will also give him time to learn. He needs to learn how to be gentle going in, how deep he can go initially, how much lube to use, and health concerns to keep you as safe as possible as well as the importance of listening to you and responding the way you need.
When you’ve mastered the training size closest to his and you’re ready for full penetration with his penis I would suggest you use a silicone lube. It lasts longer, and isn’t absorbed by your body as quickly. Also, your first time trying to take his penis inside you — YOU should be in full control. That will also help you feel safe and comfortable with your first experience.
Choose positions where you can control the speed and depth. In a chair where you slide down him, on top or on your side where you control the speed and depth are all good starting positions.
Talk to him while you’re doing it so he can learn how you like it too. “I love feeling the head slip in. I’m going to keep it right here and adjust to it.” Or “I’m feeling warmed up, I’m going to take you in a few more inches.” Go to where you’re comfortable. This might also take time to get to full penetration. It took a few times before I could take all of him. And I trained diligently.
Even now, a little over a year since we started anal, my body is still adjusting. It takes time to work to fucking like you do with vaginal. In the beginning it would take my body several days (even a week sometimes) to readjust and be able to do it again. We do it twice a week now and I can adjust faster. I also know how to relax my body faster too.
All this to be said - take your time. There’s no rush. Make sure you both read a lot about how to do anal properly before you try PIA penetration if you decide you want to. And last, if at any point you realize that you don’t want to go farther, that’s totally okay! A great sex life is built by two people who find sex acts they both enjoy.
It was my idea to try anal, not my husbands. He slipped a finger in my ass years ago when he was really drunk and I loved it. You have to want to do it in order for it to not hurt. As much as I love anal, I love my husband more. And if he ever told me he didn’t want to do it anymore I’d be okay with it. I’d ask to incorporate toys and find a way to meet in the middle, but I’d never pressure him or make him feel bad - because I love him and our sex life is an expression of the love between us. It’s not transactional. If your boyfriend really loves you, he’ll feel the same. It’s amazing that you even put the effort and gave it a try.
I love anal so much, and I know my husband enjoys it too. There’s no deeper connection between the two of us then when we do it missionary style and are looking into each others eyes. Because of the trust, the gentleness, the love it takes to do something like this as a couple. When he tells me he loves me while he’s gently thrusting into my ass I know deep down I’ll be his forever. What a journey! I wish you all the best!
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
@Sarah42 great advice from a woman’s perspective. Without question, anal is the most intimate and erotic form of sex. Like you, we continue to perfect anal sex and we’re approaching six years anal only in February. I admit it was easier for my wife because she only orgasms from anal penetration. Her powerful anal orgasms are one of the many reasons we’re anal only.
I know I’ve posted about this before, but birth control meds killed my wife’s libido. Once she reached menopause and started custom hormone therapy, her libido returned. Younger couples may want to consider anal for birth control instead of taking meds. Little did we know her g-spot is in her ass.
@Curiousaboutbutts as @Sarah42 mentioned, tell your man to take it slow and pay attention to your feedback. I wish you well in your anal journey. It is well worth the time and effort to get it right.
I know I’ve posted about this before, but birth control meds killed my wife’s libido. Once she reached menopause and started custom hormone therapy, her libido returned. Younger couples may want to consider anal for birth control instead of taking meds. Little did we know her g-spot is in her ass.
@Curiousaboutbutts as @Sarah42 mentioned, tell your man to take it slow and pay attention to your feedback. I wish you well in your anal journey. It is well worth the time and effort to get it right.
Re: How can I give my boyfriend the best anal possible?
Firstly make sure that it is something that you are comfortable with and that you want to do for your pleasure as well as his. When I first did anal it was uncomfortable but I gave it time and now I love it. Try to combine blowjobs before anal. Get him fairly close to climax before you let him in, particularly as you are getting used to it! Plenty of lube and don't do ass to mouth until you are 100% comfortable. I'm not being negative. I just want to give you some stuff to think about. It will be worth it and once you crack it you will never look back. Have fun x
