Trying to reason with wife about anal

[Germanik]

Hello everyone.

My wife and I don’t have much of a sex life anymore largely because she is terrified of getting pregnant despite the fact that we use condoms and I pull out every time. She refuses any hormones or inserts. I told her there is basically a zero percent chance that she will but she insists she needs her tubes tied. I asked her if we went that route would she be ok with me not wearing a condom or pulling out and she was hesitant. I was obviously really upset because my wife seems to be ok with avoiding sex altogether than risk pregnancy. We’ve been married 7 years and we have amazing sex when we do come together. She comes every time and hard. And I should also mention every time she comes after I slip a finger in her butt. She likes it a lot.

The other night I blurted out after she said no to sex again that she should just let me put it in her butt and her response was “guys just want to stick their penis in something.” I said, “no, I just long to be close to you and because of your pregnancy fears I can’t have that.”

We’ve tried anal before and she was ok with it (it frankly felt WAY better to me than vaginal sex) then sort of freaked out because she had trauma surrounding it from a previous relationship and blurted out, “this is what gay people do!” I said- “well I’m not gay I love you.”


I really want anal with her. I have for a long time both her and I are very kinky- into water sports, lots of talk about anal centric things. She often likes to walk into my office, pull her pants down and spread her asshole telling me something like “you can kiss my big brown butthole” when we are pretend fighting. But when it comes to going for it she always says no. It seems like a perfect fit (no pun intended) for us given our natural proclivities and her complete aversion to having any more kids.

What do you think I should do?

[Backdoorlover]

Look up “brat behavior” cause she seems to fit that discription.

And if that is true, you’re behavior towards her needs to change in order to have fun again.

[Colt1911]

@Germanik I think @Backdoorlover might be right. Brats play games and she might be looking for you to take her and fuck her ass when she teases you.

Personally, I’d have a difficult time dealing with that kind of mind fuck, although there have been times I’ve converted her “no” into a “please fuck me harder”.

Look up “how to deal with a sexual brat” and you’ll find plenty of discussion on Reddit and Quora forums. One suggested you discuss this with her. You might find she’s playing a game and hoping you’ll turn her around, bend her over, and fuck her ass.

Hopefully, this is the case and she’s simply looking for you to dominate her anally. Her virtual refusal to allow vaginal penetration could be a hint she strongly prefers anal. If so, welcome to the club!

I hope members more familiar with the brat dynamic will chime in with advice. I also hope this leads to an intense, anal only relationship for you and your wife. Please let us know how it turns out. Good luck!

[semi-normal]

I tend to agree with the two comments above regarding "bratting". You mentioned she was ok with previous anal sessions so perhaps she NEEDS to be taken. Perhaps it is in women's DNA to test men and agree to be dominated by someone they respect and it appears she is hinting at that. Even if it is not your personality, be dominant with her; pull her hair, spank her, blindfold her.
You'll find out one way or the other and I wish you good luck.