Moving to the next stage
Re: Moving to the next stage
Thanks, that's interesting to know. Makes you think if it does go that way for many couples, with anal edging out vaginal over time. I know for myself, that the more anal I've had the less I think about vaginal to the point of being able to pass on it completely. I suspect that my girl, while enjoying it, is like most women in that they take a little longer to come around?
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TheDirtyDon
- Moderator
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2014 12:27 am
- Gender: Couple
Re: Moving to the next stage
Robert wrote: I suspect that my girl, while enjoying it, is like most women in that they take a little longer to come around?
Very likely to be the case. I was somewhat lucky that my lady always liked anal, but found few partners who wanted to try it or were much good at doing it. I just pushed her in the right direction.
Cheers,
TheDirtyDon.
TheDirtyDon.
Re: Moving to the next stage
Robert, you should really give serious thought to asking her for a trial month of AO. I know you think it risky but it worked for me and my gf. She may ask for vaginal a few times after or you may need a little more time to convince her but she will come around.
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amorous945
- Posts: 151
- Joined: Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:56 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Moving to the next stage
Robert, if I'm not mistaken I think I read where you said that you were averaging anal sex about once a week, and your gf enjoys it, right? If that's the case, I think things are going really well, and you should be encouraged! That's much less than I was getting it in the early years of our marriage, and my wife was mostly just "tolerating" it because she wanted to make me happy. I was probably averaging at best once a month in those days, sometimes less. You're way ahead of the game, I think. If you're in a really good relationship (the most important thing!), and you're getting anal sex weekly, and she enjoys it when you do, I would say that the chances of your relationship becoming AO are terrific!
Re: Moving to the next stage
amorous945: Thanks for your words of support. When trying to do this it's hard to know where where you sit on the scale of no chance to good.
taylork: Thanks again for the suggestion but I'll hold of on that for now. I will try when we get to having anal as much as vaginal.
taylork: Thanks again for the suggestion but I'll hold of on that for now. I will try when we get to having anal as much as vaginal.
Re: Moving to the next stage
Hello all, and especially those who have provided advice and support!
It seems a long time since I came here looking to move my girlfriend and I to the next stage. After a few of you suggested getting some plugs for us to play with we ended up getting a 3 pack of different sizes. We started out with the smallest but didn't use that for all that long. We both had fun using them, but as it turned out in slightly different ways. She wanted to put it in then get down to foreplay and later, vaginal sex. She really loved having one in her while I rubbed her clit to climax. I on the otherhand love the insertions and extractions (she's not so keen) and could do that for ages! I'd never thought how much fun it would be to see something in her anus that close up, as I never had such a view when we have anal. What she does like though is a gentle tug outwards against her sphincter and not pulling out all the way.
One way or another we've ended up using the plugs just about every time we have sex, either just by themselves or as foreplay, or she wearing one while we have vaginal. She's even started to leave one in for 30-40 minutes before bed, or while we watch something together. Thats usually as signal for anal night
I'd recommend trying plugs for anyone else interested in getting their gf/wife more into anal. And its been such a lot of fun for me too. Perhaps we could have got to this point eventually without them but now her anus is part of the sex everytime in someway, she's become easier to penetrate and she's finding longer lasting anal sex much easier to handle.
I'm pleased to report that we are now having anal sex around twice a week rather than once or less before. That's now around 50% of the time. The other 50% which is vaginal can seem like a chore I'll admit but I'm trying to keep positive for her sake and the fact that we still use the plug makes up for some of the disapointment. Yes I know the reality is we are doing well and I'm impressed how much she's changed and really gone for anal in such a big way. If anything I'm just thinking as since it seems so essential to her pleasure and she's become so dependant on it why does she still feel the need for vaginal. Is she still doing it because she thinks I want to? Should I now go for it and suggesting going AO for a while?
It seems a long time since I came here looking to move my girlfriend and I to the next stage. After a few of you suggested getting some plugs for us to play with we ended up getting a 3 pack of different sizes. We started out with the smallest but didn't use that for all that long. We both had fun using them, but as it turned out in slightly different ways. She wanted to put it in then get down to foreplay and later, vaginal sex. She really loved having one in her while I rubbed her clit to climax. I on the otherhand love the insertions and extractions (she's not so keen) and could do that for ages! I'd never thought how much fun it would be to see something in her anus that close up, as I never had such a view when we have anal. What she does like though is a gentle tug outwards against her sphincter and not pulling out all the way.
One way or another we've ended up using the plugs just about every time we have sex, either just by themselves or as foreplay, or she wearing one while we have vaginal. She's even started to leave one in for 30-40 minutes before bed, or while we watch something together. Thats usually as signal for anal night
I'd recommend trying plugs for anyone else interested in getting their gf/wife more into anal. And its been such a lot of fun for me too. Perhaps we could have got to this point eventually without them but now her anus is part of the sex everytime in someway, she's become easier to penetrate and she's finding longer lasting anal sex much easier to handle.
I'm pleased to report that we are now having anal sex around twice a week rather than once or less before. That's now around 50% of the time. The other 50% which is vaginal can seem like a chore I'll admit but I'm trying to keep positive for her sake and the fact that we still use the plug makes up for some of the disapointment. Yes I know the reality is we are doing well and I'm impressed how much she's changed and really gone for anal in such a big way. If anything I'm just thinking as since it seems so essential to her pleasure and she's become so dependant on it why does she still feel the need for vaginal. Is she still doing it because she thinks I want to? Should I now go for it and suggesting going AO for a while?
Re: Moving to the next stage
I'm pleased for you. It's always good to hear a success story, and by the sounds of it you are well on your way to achieving your dream.
This is often what happens when done right, and women find anal to be a great source of pleasure, and the vagina isn't everything when it comes to sex.
How about now when she's planning vaginal sex, you start suggesting anal instead more often? Don't say anything negative about her vagina, just that you get a lot of pleasure from anal (which is the truth) and that you love to see her coming so hard (also true). She may not even realize that you'd much rather be having anal.
This is often what happens when done right, and women find anal to be a great source of pleasure, and the vagina isn't everything when it comes to sex.
How about now when she's planning vaginal sex, you start suggesting anal instead more often? Don't say anything negative about her vagina, just that you get a lot of pleasure from anal (which is the truth) and that you love to see her coming so hard (also true). She may not even realize that you'd much rather be having anal.
Re: Moving to the next stage
marcus wrote: This is often what happens when done right, and women find anal to be a great source of pleasure, and the vagina isn't everything when it comes to sex.
Well yes, I think she's changing her view from anal being this "special" thing (like others have said) and something just done to please me to something for us. I hope so anyway. We can talk about sex but somehow not share how we feel. But we have our closest, most intimate moments when we have anal. So surely she feels that too? Not only that but (in my view) the best sex, as we are both wiped out afterwards as it is so intense.
marcus wrote: How about now when she's planning vaginal sex, you start suggesting anal instead more often?
I have done. It used to be driven by her but I'm feeling more confident I don't feel so bad about suggesting it more often. It's thinking of ways that we can cut out the vaginal sex entirely that's the hard part...
(You wouldn't believe how bad I want to be at that stage
)Re: Moving to the next stage
marcus wrote:Have you tried simply asking for more anal? She may not realise how important it is to you and think you are entirely happy with the current arrangement. As always, communication is the key.
I would agree with tbis, I am a moderator on http://www.slavefarm.com which is a dedicated,BDSM site. I am often asked about how to move things on or what to do, in a new relationship. The best advice I can give is often, talk, talk some more and then, when you think you are done and everything is sorted and clear talk a little more. It really is as easy but also as complicated and important as that. Communication really is the key, no one is a mind reader or psychic, when it comes to sex and relationships.
