Female feelings on anal in terms of womanness

[analyeah]

My wife has at times expressed at times that she thought of just giving me her ass, as vaginal sex has become painful, and she knows how much I love anal, but.... She has feelings that her femaleness is centered in her pussy, so that is how she thinks she needs to take me as woman. I don't feel that way, but I am not a woman. I truly want to get a better understanding of her feelings, so I thought I would ask others thoughts on this. Do other women feel this way? If you enjoy anal, especially anal only, how do you feel about your female sexuality? And yes, honestly, I also want to know how I can effectively communicate to her that because I am attracted to her ass and to having anal sex with her, that that does not make her less of woman. I look forward to people's (especially the women) thoughts on this. Thanks.

[Prince Albert]

My queen and I just had a discussion about how anal has affected he sexuality. She does not share your wife's view on being less feminine about taking me in her ass and not taking me in her vagina.
Does your wife receive pleasure from anal? My wife agrees that once she worked past the fact that anal was pleasurable that her inhibitions quickly subsided sexually.
She has a hard time putting her feelings into words on this subject but basically she emotionally felt my sexual desire for her ass and anal sex. In turn making her feel more sexual and less inhibited in the bedroom

[analyeah]

Prince Albert,

Thanks for your thoughtful response. In the past, my wife has said she does receive pleasure from anal - sometimes. Other times she would do it to please me. We used to have anal much more, but recently we haven't. She also went through menopause early and now vaginal intercourse is often quite painful. So, of course, my male anal focused brain is convinced that anal only is a very good solution for us, but she is not anywhere near that at this point. There are a number of issues at play here, the feminine part, past encounters (not me) and the whole menopause thing. She says feels she is a dried up old hag if she can't take me vaginally and she feels less womanly as a result. I do not agree with that at all, I still desire her immensely. I would love to have her sign on to this forum, and learn and explore what others are saying and feeling about anal, but I don't think it would have the positive effect I am hoping for at this point. I think I first need to find a way to communicate to her that my attraction to her ass by no means makes her less feminine.

Thanks again for taking the time to discuss this with your queen, and for the response. It does help.

[analsexonly]

A woman is the sum of all her parts (and that includes her mind and personality as well), not simply her vagina. Being unable to or not wanting to use her vagina anymore does not make her any less of a woman—being a woman makes her a woman. It's entirely possible to be completely feminine and be anal only—in fact, some might argue that makes her even more feminine from their perspective.

[KeepItReal]

She says feels she is a dried up old hag if she can't take me vaginally and she feels less womanly as a result.

When you think about it, this is pretty understandable! Dude, if she feels this way then it's probably best to accept it and keep having vaginal sex, while gradually increasing the amount of Anal.

I would love to have her sign on to this forum, and learn and explore what others are saying and feeling about anal,

Hell Yeah! We need more ladies around here, otherwise the place will slowly but surely die away!

but I don't think it would have the positive effect I am hoping for at this point.

What do you mean bro? Do you think the threads here would turn her against Anal?

I think I first need to find a way to communicate to her that my attraction to her ass by no means makes her less feminine.

Pussy has always, and will always, be the essence of femininity... primarily due to the fact that men do not have one! As dudes, we need to respect this aspect of womanhood instead of trying to change it.

Personally, the way I express my Anal-obsession to a woman, is by "including" her Ass as part of her sexual being, like another erogenous zone! So I tell her how every part of her body drives me crazy, her pussy, her tits, her legs, her neck, her lips, her back, and of course her butt! This way, it doesn't make her feel her pussy (or anything else!) is being neglected or replaced.

Once you've made it clear that her Ass is very much part of her overall female allure, the next step becomes quite easy! Say you want her "completely" and that not having Anal means a large part of her is being withheld from you! Basically switch the context around 180 degrees so that Anal becomes completely standard practice, while not having Anal is considered abnormal!

Thus you will actually enhance her feelings of womanness when you go for the backdoor! Awesome!

[KeepItReal]

A woman is the sum of all her parts (and that includes her mind and personality as well), not simply her vagina. Being unable to or not wanting to use her vagina anymore does not make her any less of a woman—being a woman makes her a woman. It's entirely possible to be completely feminine and be anal only

It's all well and good for dudes to talk like this - unfortunately it's not our opinion that matters is it bro!

in fact, some might argue that makes her even more feminine from their perspective.

So true - any woman can give you pussy... but only a real woman gives you Ass!

[fatmudokon]

apart from being a butt guy, i may relate your wife's view to "anal only" to a male as "fingers only" or "the tip of the penis only, no going balls deep". now i'm not telling these are the exact equivelant but an effort of analogy.

[marcus]

apart from being a butt guy, i may relate your wife's view to "anal only" to a male as "fingers only" or "the tip of the penis only, no going balls deep". now i'm not telling these are the exact equivelant but an effort of analogy.

Hi fatmudokon. Could you clarify or re-phrase your comment as I don't quite understand what you are getting at. Thanks.

[zellig]

I've always referred to this as vaginal allegiance.

[luv2play45]

My wife is post menopausal and there is no way she would ever let me in her pussy.
In fact I haven't visited there in over 20 years so why try to open a rusty, creaky door?
It sounds like your wife does not enjoy anal enough to help her shift her thinking from vagina centered to pleasure centered?

LOL I remember a girlfriend I had once.
As I introduced her to anal she complained that it was degrading to her as a woman.
It only took a few good anal sessions before she was begging for it all the time.

They try anal for the novelty of the experience but they stay for the orgasms it brings.