I'm About To Make A Mistake, I Think

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
analonlylondonebony
Posts: 67
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:48 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: I'm About To Make A Mistake, I Think

Post by analonlylondonebony » Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:00 am

There's asking and there's pushing. I'd get a sinking feeling in my stomach if a guy I thought was anal only were to ask about other stuff.

This guy didn't ask. He just assumed. But then I missed the opportunity to drive my point home before we met. Maybe if there'd been some decent anal, I might have grinned and borne it. But right now, I'm not in a grin and bare it mood.

If a guy messages me about something, I read a lot into it. The other day, a guy asked if he should bring condoms. 1. did this mean he was hoping condoms were optional 2. did this mean that he thought I should be providing them? Either way, I wasn't impressed and never responded and we shan't be meeting. A person brings up a topic for a reason, I believe.
A-man wrote:
I think you’re right, Analonlyebony. Most of the guys that do like anal probably need the other stuff too from time to time. For sure.

As a true anal only guy (one that only needs anal ever), I’ll just add a word of caution: sometimes I’ll bring up other forms of sex just to “probe” and see how “anal only” she is. It’s just my way of feeling out how compatible we are without being too “anal only” right off the bat. Some of the guys you’ve been dealing with/messaging might be doing something similar (obviously not the guy you were just with though).


A-man
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2015 3:07 pm
Location: Toronto

Re: I'm About To Make A Mistake, I Think

Post by A-man » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:52 am

analonlylondonebony wrote:There's asking and there's pushing. I'd get a sinking feeling in my stomach if a guy I thought was anal only were to ask about other stuff.

This guy didn't ask. He just assumed. But then I missed the opportunity to drive my point home before we met. Maybe if there'd been some decent anal, I might have grinned and borne it. But right now, I'm not in a grin and bare it mood.

If a guy messages me about something, I read a lot into it. The other day, a guy asked if he should bring condoms. 1. did this mean he was hoping condoms were optional 2. did this mean that he thought I should be providing them? Either way, I wasn't impressed and never responded and we shan't be meeting. A person brings up a topic for a reason, I believe.
A-man wrote:
I think you’re right, Analonlyebony. Most of the guys that do like anal probably need the other stuff too from time to time. For sure.

As a true anal only guy (one that only needs anal ever), I’ll just add a word of caution: sometimes I’ll bring up other forms of sex just to “probe” and see how “anal only” she is. It’s just my way of feeling out how compatible we are without being too “anal only” right off the bat. Some of the guys you’ve been dealing with/messaging might be doing something similar (obviously not the guy you were just with though).


That’s true. There’s definitely asking and pushing. Unless you’re in some kind of sadistic Dom/sub relationship, being pushed into the “other stuff” must feel horrible. I get a sinking feeling when she asks for the other stuff. I get instantly turned off because I know I’ll have to fake my way through whatever she asked for. That being said, I couldn’t imagine being pushed through it. It must feel like some kind of totally awkward buzzkill.

In general I’ll be forward with questions and suggestions, but not “pushy”. I wouldn’t disgrace myself by being some horrible prick to women – or anyone for that matter. I like when she’s just into it. I like when everything feels natural and free-flowing. I have a friend I meet up with every year or so (when we have time). I met her back in college and we’ve always known each other to be intensely anal (it came out during some drunken conversations). When we meet, we literally just grab a tea or something, get caught up then have anal sex. I don’t have to ask or push for anything and neither does she. We just meet, hang out then anal – everything flows. That’s how I like it.

I’m glad you didn’t meet up with that “should I bring condoms” guy. It sounds like he doesn’t always wear them, which is pretty risky. If two people meet online and agree to have an “anal date” they should both bring them in my opinion, just in case.

At this point, I struggle to give you any more advice though because it seems like you’re doing everything right for what you want. You’re a strong, self-respecting, classy woman, but you practice one of the most obscene sexual acts out there – anal sex, but only anal sex. I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a tough line to straddle. Try to keep your head up if you can. We’ll support you on here. I know I probably will. I bet the best anal-only sex has yet to come for you. Just a hunch.

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