Lube issues

[yosemite]

New here--thanks for the interesting discussions, and for your patience with a newbie.

Being the suspicious type, I worry about buying lube from the same sort of folks that brought us pthalate-laced jelly sex toys, smelly rubber butt plugs, lithium rechargeable fire hazards, yada yada. Not confidence-inspiring.

For DW and me, coconut oil just smells way too much like baking cookies with the kids. Following some advice on this board, I've ordered some nice refined shea butter, so we'll see.

A few years back, I got a couple of gallons of nice traceable food-grade silicone lube (dimethicone, aka polydimethylsiloxane) from Clearco Products in the USA. (I have no connection with them except being a delighted customer.)

It was much cheaper than the same quantity of lube sold by the usual suspects, and is made in by a very reputable, family-owned firm with a long track record. It's really good news AFAICT.

We usually start out in the back, with me wearing a condom and one of us using a vibe on her clit. (It's usually me running it at the start, but then she generally takes over, because I tend to get a bit preoccupied after being in her butt for a few minutes.)

Once she gets there, off comes the sheath and we finish up in the front. Good stuff, no worries. The only issue is using too much lube, because if it's all spread around down there, there isn't always quite enough friction at the end. It's a bit of a judgement call getting enough for the first bit without having too much for the second.

Now that we're doing the anal thing just about every time, it seems like there ought to be a better way. I've ordered some nice refined shea butter, which we'll try, but DW and I are very interested in any lube expertise from any regular front/back folks. (Diehard AO couples probably don't have the difficulty, or am I wrong about that?)

Thanks

YS

[Robert]

Hey yosemite you and your wife are a little different as from what I hear (and how it goes with my girlfriend) is that most people start in the front then move to the back. We've not really experimented much with lubes as the water based ones work well enough for us and they seem safe enough. I'm wary of silicone as who knows what that'll do long term? I'm not sure I understand the problem you have completely. Surely lube won't be needed once you take the condom off and move to her front?

[yosemite]

Well, DW is well past menopause, so lube helps at all times. I'm a wee bit younger than she is, and also a guy, of course, so I'm paying a lot of attention to keeping the interest level high. We both find anal really hot, which helps!

Good quality silicone lube appears to be very safe. We liked Liquid Silk water-based lube very much for a year or so, but then DW started to get a rash from it. The food-grade dimethicone has been excellent for 7 or 8 years now, and it comes in different consistencies so you can mix up just the right viscosity--maybe thinner for the front and thicker for the back.

Cheers

YS

[mardobolo]

Hey yosemite you and your wife are a little different as from what I hear (and how it goes with my girlfriend) is that most people start in the front then move to the back.

That's how the wife and I do it -- start in the front and then move to the back. Cleanliness is easier in that direction. But the real reason is that we both like when I finish in her rear.

Regarding lubes, we've experimented with everything and always just come back to water-based ones. Shea butter is good but it's a little messy to apply in our experience -- we end up usually getting bits of it on the bed.

[mr.williams.wife]

My 2 cents is that you should reconsider coconut oil. The better, more refined brands don't smell like coconut at all in my experience. The less refined stuff is fine in the kitchen, but I prefer Spectrum Organic Extra Virgin coconut oil in the bedroom.

[yosemite]

Hmm, non-coconutty coconut oil. Sounds worth a birl, thanks!

[gurlcrazy]

We like albolene.

[kilrkty]

JO Best lube ever! Thick and it last forever!
Believe me, I've tried them all! Lol This stuff cleans up with a bit of water. Silky smooth too!