At last, I had an answer. I had a "cause" I felt that I wasn't crazy anymore. The problem wasn't in my head ! The DR's told my parents that I didn't require any surgeries ( I was Happy
) I had a good Dr. A lady that was really nice. I doubt I could have done this with a male Dr at that time. She explained that the problem was that I have a portion of my colon that was too narrow but that it could be "fixed" with a procedure done on a regular basis. That in time, as I became familiar with the equipment , I could do the procedure at home.
At that age I was embarrassed (as you can imagine). The first few times I just hated the twice weekly trips to see the nurse.
Being than that room and on the table...so cold ..The nurse is trying to be polite..but how polite can you be when you have to stick a Bardex bulb into someone's butt ? (Those of you that don't know. A Bardex enema is something that will hold pressure in your rectum . This is what will inflate or stretch the area of the colon that needs to be relaxed or "relived ". For the novice patient this is not anything you want on your "To Do" list.
The length of time spent "holding" is the factor that will help open or stretch the restriction (narrow colon) . Each time I went for my enema appointment, the hold time was lengthened. Yes, it was like a torment ..but not for long..
I'll edit this as time permits ...
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I would like to make one point clear. This process of enemas is not about "scat" or poo play. The purpose is to purge and cleanse my lower bowel.
After the third session with the nurse and a very detailed discussion on how to use the Bardex system I was on my own .
At least at home I didn't feel as embarrassed or self conscious and I could relax. It was at this time I started to realize the other sensations that I was feeling. After I would do the cleansing purge( and expel into the toilet) I would experience very pleasant sensations around my sphincter. With just a light amount of the lubricant on my finger tip I could rim and twirl my fingers over the rectum. Ooohh did that ever feel so good ! I was clean, relaxed and on the very edge of arousal. I would tease my rectum and just ever so gently press into my ass the index finger of my right hand.
I didn't go any further but I was just so wickedly aroused.
I continued the enemas twice a week. Then at six months I had a follow-up colonoscopy (Yes I had to do the prep drink too). The bowel restriction was progressing well. I only had two flare-ups during the therapy period. I kept up the Bardex enemas for three more months. It was during this period I was starting to "play" with the enemas. I would do the first colon purge to expel my waste and then another enema with the Bardex and I would masturbate . This became quite the habit for me. I found the sensation of "fullness' in my lower abdomen and having the Bardex secured in my rectum to be very arousing. This made the process of "Holding" more of a sexual torment that I found both .
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It was near my 18th birthday that my Dr. gave my Sigmoid colon a healthy report. The regular "Hydrotherapy" with the Bardex enema worked for me. I could now do my "business" as usual without the painful problems I had most of my developing years. The bouts of painful constipation, at times even bleeding when passing a stool was now over. I was so glad to be past all of that.
The nurse gave me a packet of information on colon health and general diet instructions. Things "to do" and "not do".
I was still a virgin at this time. I had dated boys but I hadn't done anything too intense. A lot of fondling , kissing (you get the idea).
One afternoon in the shower I was doing my enema ...and I had started to play. Teasing myself while envisioning my boo...his touch, his voice. I could imagine making eye contact..as I masturbated. My lower abdomen full and straining with the weight of warm water. The Bardex bulb inflated in my rectum holding it securely in my ass as I teased around my labia. My finger tips just at the edge of ass. I turned off the flow of water and just paused and let the sensation of the warm water inside of my abdomen build my arousal.
