So, I mentioned in another post that I've started seeing a guy. He's 33 recently divorced, which I knew going into it.
Tonight was our 3rd date, he took me for a lovely meal and then we had a nice drive into town where we had some drinks and danced a bit in a club. Then we went back to his, I think he thought it was a sure thing, but I held back, obviously in a tactful way lol.
Thing is, before I left we organised another date for Friday night, I'm going to his and he's gonna cook, then we'll watch a film together and have a good talk. so long as he doesn't freak out I think things might move to the next level.
However!! As the title suggests, I have a bit of a situation on my hands! It's not telling him about me being AO, I'm at peace with thst, no, the issue is that tonight he told me that his daughter,who I assumed was like 5 or 6 because of his age, is actually 14 in 2 weeks.
I'm only 4 years older than his daughter!
Does it strike anyone else as a bit odd that he's chasing a girl basically the same age as his daughter (she's one of my sisters friends too!)?
Is it just me reading too much into it, after all, of she didn't exist I'd not even question it.
I can't talk to my mum about it because she's already told me she's not happy about the age gap and my friends don't know about him yet, so I'm coming to you fine bunch in my hour of need!!
Thing is, he's a really, really nice guy!
What do you think?
4th Date Conundrum!
-
FarmerDan
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:57 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Northern NSW Australia
- Contact:
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Go with it! Those extra years of experience will pay off for you 
It's a lifestyle folks not a 2 minute sprint
-
analgirl98
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
You don't think the age thing is a bit odd?
I'm starting to think.its not so much, but can't shake the feeling lol
I'm starting to think.its not so much, but can't shake the feeling lol
-
FarmerDan
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:57 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Northern NSW Australia
- Contact:
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Well the couple moving into the White House have 24 years between them .. and my personal best is 27 ... and we had a very good time!
Don't worry about the age, there are plenty of other factors to consider.
Don't worry about the age, there are plenty of other factors to consider.
It's a lifestyle folks not a 2 minute sprint
-
analgirl98
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Oh the age between me and him isn't the question, it's the fact that I'm only a few years older than his daughter that's on my mind.
My FB is 45 so that's a much bigger gap and doesn't bother me at all
My FB is 45 so that's a much bigger gap and doesn't bother me at all
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Ok. I'm starting to feel like Dear Abbey, but I'm going with it. Reality, I support you, but go in with your eyes open. The age difference could cause you some problems, i.e. acceptance with his daughter, others, your friends, his long term commitment, etc. Not to say it won't work, but you should be aware of potential hurdles, and be ready to face them. Just make sure that this guy is worth the costs (and there will be costs). Also, you should tell him about your FB as soon as possible. He might not think that's cool and it could be a deal breaker. If he is, then fine. If not.... well it wouldn't be right to start off a relationship with secrets or withholds, would it?
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Well, I have 0 experience but will always be there in anyone's hour of need. That's granted!
Well, what I think is that it is an odd situation. The golden rule I have for myself, in general, is minding that since it's impossible to fulfill everyone's expectations then the more logical thing is being myself and follow what my will and heart tell me, as long as this doesn't hurt anybody. But here I agree that the situation is more knotty than usual, since relationships are involved, and relationship-issues are always a trouble, at least in my experience: they're hard to handle most of times.
Here, concretely, what I think you should do is
•Looking into yourself and listen to your emotions. And, if the answer is YES, then try to check if you feel strong enough for being who you are no matter what the circumstances are: if you like him and want things to take this path then there is no age comparison that will hold, stopping you. But you must feel it is like so.
•Yes, I agree: tell him quite soon about your FB, this could be a deal breaker. But make sure you don't tell him too early: he must be in the condition to understand well how things are: referring to timing, "in medio stat virtus".
•Can you check directly or indirectly how does this 14 years old daughter feel about it?
Keep us updated!
Well, what I think is that it is an odd situation. The golden rule I have for myself, in general, is minding that since it's impossible to fulfill everyone's expectations then the more logical thing is being myself and follow what my will and heart tell me, as long as this doesn't hurt anybody. But here I agree that the situation is more knotty than usual, since relationships are involved, and relationship-issues are always a trouble, at least in my experience: they're hard to handle most of times.
Here, concretely, what I think you should do is
•Looking into yourself and listen to your emotions. And, if the answer is YES, then try to check if you feel strong enough for being who you are no matter what the circumstances are: if you like him and want things to take this path then there is no age comparison that will hold, stopping you. But you must feel it is like so.
•Yes, I agree: tell him quite soon about your FB, this could be a deal breaker. But make sure you don't tell him too early: he must be in the condition to understand well how things are: referring to timing, "in medio stat virtus".
•Can you check directly or indirectly how does this 14 years old daughter feel about it?
Keep us updated!
Think, it's free
-
analgirl98
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Thank you all very much for your words of advice, it's all been received very gratefully.
I think that as far as my FB is concerned, I'm not going to say anything.
In the past if I've had a bf we've still played together but we always agreed that if I actually felt like I could move forward with someone we'd end it. Which we have. So basically there is no FB now to talk of.
As for the age gap between him and me, I actually think that part is kinda exciting so I'm finally happy on that score. I like that he likes a girl that much younger than himself, that he's confident enough to not feel insecure in me leaving him for a younger guy. It's characterful.
I've spoken to my sister as she is friends with his daughter at school and she told me that she already knows about me. He sat her down and explained it too her and she says she's fine with it. If she's fine with it then there's no reason for me not yo be fine with it too, so I'm going to go ahead and have our date tonight and whatever happens, happens
You all gave me food for thought and helpede get here, so thank you you lovely boys
Sarah xxx
I think that as far as my FB is concerned, I'm not going to say anything.
In the past if I've had a bf we've still played together but we always agreed that if I actually felt like I could move forward with someone we'd end it. Which we have. So basically there is no FB now to talk of.
As for the age gap between him and me, I actually think that part is kinda exciting so I'm finally happy on that score. I like that he likes a girl that much younger than himself, that he's confident enough to not feel insecure in me leaving him for a younger guy. It's characterful.
I've spoken to my sister as she is friends with his daughter at school and she told me that she already knows about me. He sat her down and explained it too her and she says she's fine with it. If she's fine with it then there's no reason for me not yo be fine with it too, so I'm going to go ahead and have our date tonight and whatever happens, happens
You all gave me food for thought and helpede get here, so thank you you lovely boys
Sarah xxx
-
analgirl98
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
Quick update!
Dates going really well! He cooked me a lovely meal, nothing fancy and we had ice cream for dessert
He's opened a bottle of wine and gone for a shower as he got back late from work.
Let's see what the night brings!
Dates going really well! He cooked me a lovely meal, nothing fancy and we had ice cream for dessert
He's opened a bottle of wine and gone for a shower as he got back late from work.
Let's see what the night brings!
Re: 4th Date Conundrum!
analgirl98 wrote:Thank you all very much for your words of advice, it's all been received very gratefully.
I think that as far as my FB is concerned, I'm not going to say anything.
In the past if I've had a bf we've still played together but we always agreed that if I actually felt like I could move forward with someone we'd end it. Which we have. So basically there is no FB now to talk of.
As for the age gap between him and me, I actually think that part is kinda exciting so I'm finally happy on that score. I like that he likes a girl that much younger than himself, that he's confident enough to not feel insecure in me leaving him for a younger guy. It's characterful.
I've spoken to my sister as she is friends with his daughter at school and she told me that she already knows about me. He sat her down and explained it too her and she says she's fine with it. If she's fine with it then there's no reason for me not yo be fine with it too, so I'm going to go ahead and have our date tonight and whatever happens, happens
You all gave me food for thought and helpede get here, so thank you you lovely boys
Sarah xxx
http://open.spotify.com/track/5IKLwqBQG6KU6MP2zP80Nu
Think, it's free
