As many of you know, my wife and I have been anal only for many years now. For a long time our anal only to anal with clit stimulation was about 60/40, then 50/50. Then, about the first of the year, she began using her Hitachi Magic Wand and it seemed like she wanted to use clit stimulation every time we had sex. I talked to her about anal only April and asked if she would be open to doing anal only, without clit stimulation, all month. I made it clear that, if she didn't think she could do it with an open mind, we should not try it. She seemed a little skeptical, but agreed she would try to do it. I was confused by her skepticism, as it had only been a few months since she had orgasms from anal only.
The first half of the first week of April she was still on her period, when she usually only gets off about once anyway. She wasn't able to get off. As a side note, we are trying to have anal sex every day this year (more about that coming in another post). For about another week she wasn't able to get off either and seemed to be a little frustrated. I told her she could use her wand, but she was determined to not to. It seemed like that did it. She was able to have a small orgasm that night. The next night she built up to it a little more and was able to have a little better orgasm, but still seemed disappointed. The following night, we were both tired and did a quickie just to keep up with our daily commitment. The same was true for the next morning (she rarely gets off in the morning anyway).
The next night, I entered her and just remained buried to the hilt in her ass. After a few minutes, she began to grind back on me. I could tell she was much more into it this time. Rather than the quick orgasm brought on by anal with clit stimulation, this orgasm plateaued, as her anal only orgasms had in the past. She maintained this blissful state for about five minutes, then gradually came down. She admitted she had forgot how good her anal only orgasms were. Later that night, i rolled over so I was spooning her and she began to push her ass back toward me. I quickly lubed my cock and pushed inside her as she pushed back against me. Again, i just held my cock buried in her ass as she rhythmically worked her muscles so that they almost sucked my cock. Again her orgasm built to a plateau on the edge of release, where she remained for nearly 10 minutes. Through raspy breathes I could hear her saying, "Oh god, oh god, oh god," as i felt her ass begin to pulse and engulf me ever deeper. It was then she let out a muffled scream as she began to cum, causing me to release my second load of the night deep within her. Unlike a clitoral orgasm, she didn't immediately come down. My cock remained in her ass, softening as we both drifted off to sleep again.
The next morning I hit the snooze button several times before we got up, causing us to forgo our (more often than not) morning session. We kept shooting each other the kind of looks only lovers do over breakfast. As I left for work, she gave me a passionate kiss and said she hoped we could repeat the previous night's performance. That night it was much the same, but her plateau lasted a little longer. Once again, she had an intense orgasm, but it slowly subsided, unlike those she has with clitoral stimulation.
The next morning, we did our usual routine, we both go to the bathroom, then return to bed to snuggle and have sex. Although my wife usually enjoys the closeness of sex in the morning, she rarely gets off. But this time it was different. She asked me to lay still inside her. Once again, I felt her begin working her ass on my cock. And, once again, she experienced a plateau on the edge or orgasm that lasted a number of minutes. Then release, followed by a gentle letdown.
It's been nearly a week since then and she has managed to orgasm at least once every single day. It seems like her libido remains much higher, almost as though the clitoral stimulation was keeping her from orgasming more often before. My wife has admitted she has really enjoyed the last week and a half and wants to go all month without clitoral stimulation, but says she doesn't know about giving up clitoral stimulation. She says it takes her too long to get off with anal only and sometimes just needs a quick release.
I'm curious to see how the rest of the month goes, and how she'll do if/or when she decides she wants to reincorporate clitoral stimulation.
analsexonly wrote: ↑Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:29 pmIf someone needs clit stimulation to enjoy anal, that's fine. However, it's no surprise that lots of people want to experiment and explore the idea of being able to enjoy anal on its own without clit stimulation, especially if they're already anal only. Being truly anal only in that sense can have a lot of appeal, so of course people are going to want to try it. And with most new skills and abilities, anal only orgasms can take practice, sometimes over a period of many months, to get to that point. So if it's a real goal, it can certainly be worth committing to it over that period of time and working to achieve it. Just as with anal and anal only for a lot of people.
I'm not sure why this is so controversial to some people.
It's controversial because it is misunderstood and it doesn't help that it is often also called "clitoral denial", which is term I don't like much. People wrongly assume to whole things is about control and power over a woman. It's not. It is actually the opposite and about empowering the woman, taking charge of her own body on her terms. For a lot of us it's a sense of purity, attaining an ideal and making the most of the most intimate moment a man and woman can share.
My girlfriend strictly speaking doesn't need the clit stimulation any more, but she does sometimes start off with a little and stops when we really get into it. I'd love for her not to at all, but it's not my place to tell her what to do. Having said that, she does far less than she used to so I have hopes she'l abandon it entirely eventually. I just believe it makes for a more powerful experience for both.
- Site Admin
- Posts: 769
- Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 1:25 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: USA
Now that we're over halfway into May, how have things gone? You mentioned in another post that she wasn't ready to commit to giving up clit stimulation for good after April but was willing to keep going without it for now. Is she still going with anal only orgasms and no clit stimulation?
If she finds it difficult to cum quickly sometimes and sometimes feels the need to use her clit to get release, it may just be that she's still too dependent on clit stimulation and has urges that are hard to resist as a result. Just as she found it hard to orgasm from anal after using a hitachi for so long, there can be longer-lasting effects of a reliance on clit stimulation that make anal orgasm more difficult. Going increasingly longer without the distraction of clit stimulation can let her focus far more on anal pleasure and further develop her ability for anal only orgasms. Just as we both have long recommended that couples try a month or two of anal only to discover and develop the benefits of excluding vaginal penetration, the same benefit can come from doing so with the exclusion of clit stimulation—but it can take longer, perhaps three to six months or more in some cases, before fully losing that urge for clit stimulation and replacing it with pure anal desire.
If she's willing to try, I would suggest committing to a longer term period of time, and perhaps even incorporating things like numbing gels on her clit if it becomes hard to resist, to assist with getting past that difficult stage of clitoral desire.