I like hard, pounding, intense sex. Being fucked into a soppy mess. But not being hit, slapped, or called names, that isn't cool. Men and women-- we exist for one another, even those of us who enjoy playing with someone of the same gender. Even as I am submissive to my man I am an equal in our relationship. He cannot be in charge if I am not there to follow. Biology made me submissive in sexual play but not in discussing family finances or our children's college prospects.
I submit in love and affection. He pounds me in love and affection. My head floats on a cloud as I type this 42 minutes afterward...
Go on the journey with your partner and find out. It will benefit you both.
I used to be a bit scared of going too rough or becoming too dominant until i met a woman who really loved it and is asking for it. This way I learned how to take charge of the situation and "make" her take it. I wouldn't try the same thing with another woman though, because it's a flow I have developed together with her over months and even years by now. My other lover enjoys hard anal sex too, but she is the opposite of a submissive. For her it is "I am fucking you with my ass" not the other way 'round. For her being an anal slut is something like running in a marathon. Just as intense, but with a completely different dynamic.