Personality change because of anal?

[semi-normal]

I wanted to share something with all of you on this forum and get feedback. At my request, my girl and I tried anal about 9 years ago on a whim. I did not have a lifelong fantasy or need, nor had I seen any anal porno. She has a great ass and one time I just asked to try it and she agreed. It was so awesome I lasted twenty seconds. We would then dabble in it from time to time but then I started to realize how much I loved it so I started to read more about the subject. Back then I was not as knowledgeable as I am today and there were times it was not pleasant for her, at least at the beginning of the session. But I wanted to research the subject as much as possible to make it more pleasurable for her. This was about five (5) years ago. It has slowly been included in our lovemaking, especially over the last 2 years and we now finish with anal 90% of the time. She enjoys it and has made us closer, but she has not yet orgasmed by it.
She is generally shy and unassuming, but strong-willed, independent and not a submissive. However, this has been changing. I have been becoming more dominant in the bedroom and she has been agreeable and submissive. Just the act of anal is one of dominance and submission I believe. But her submissiveness is showing up in regular life and it is making her more feminine. Her and I have not discussed this but it has made me happier than ever and perhaps this is how males and females should be…
Has anyone else been through something like this?

[NoVagAnal]

@semi-normal I think everyone does anal for different reasons and experiences differently. But I do believe that in many cases submissive and dominant desires play into it. Women tend to be more submissive by nature. There are always expectations of course, but typically they are at least twords the men they have dedicated themselves too. But in today's society there is a lot of pressure for women to be strong and independent, even if they have submissive deisre. So they end up hiding from those feelings. Maybe your wife was one of these girls and anal has helped her to embrace her submissive side more, even outside the bedroom. Seems like you are enjoying the change in her and I hope she is too. Anal may have helped both do you open up to your own selves.

[AnalEngineer]

My wife would always get super submissive after anal, probably why she stopped.

[Backdoorlover]

First wife was an alfa female. Most of our fights as a couple were about dominance. She assumed she had the last say in everything and got mad every time I didn’t comply. Which was like aways.

She said she wanted anal, but her body fought it. Her sprincter clenched and she simply couldn’t relax long enough to let is happen in an enjoyable way. Anal sex kinda died in that relationship.

Second wife seemed submissive. First anal was great, she seemed really into pleasing me and her asshole caressed my cock. She gave me pointers by forehand, like if she was in pain I should stay in and not move for a few minutes untill she gave the green light. After that I could use her asshole as much as I liked. And it worked even better cause she rarely was in pain.

But she was a covert narsissist and slowly she changed into someone unpredictable who tried to dominate me. When that didn’t work she claimed I was a gay guy who refused to come out of the closet for wanting her ass more often then her pussy. So she ended up at the far side of submissive.

My current girlfriend is naturally submissive is that way that she wants me to protect her in daily life. She want me to lead so she feels safe to follow. And it works magic for me. I never realized how natural I would feel in a relationship with a woman who is submissive enough to want to please me, but this doesn’t work one way of course, who is eager to always sexually please me and who really wanted me to only use her asshole for sex. She had no doubs giving up pussy fucks. Not for one second.

Anal only works perfect for us, it makes us more emotionally connected, more loving, horny all the time. The knowledge I only use her asshole for sex is the most powerfull message any woman ever gave me. And I am 100% sure this would never had even been an option with the other two women.

So my girlfiend to me seems like she was meant to have anal sex with a man like me. Her asshole is very receptive and can take me even dry. She clearly enjoys anal sex in every possible way, while she doesn’t feel any need for vaginal sex anymore. Not even fingers inside. We only use her clit for her orgasms.

So I think being truly submissive is a big part for wanting to be anal only. After all, the pussy is meant for sex, the ass and mouth are not. So any woman who gladly abondones her pussy to give you her ass and her mouth must be some degree of submissive.

[Colt1911]

@semi-normal our experience is similar to yours with the exception of anal orgasms which she experienced the first time I penetrated her ass. I do believe some women are wired for anal sex. I also believe the quality of anal sex evolves over time. Even after 5 years she becomes more confident during each anal session. I wish she would dirty talk more, but it’s bad when it’s forced.

I also agree with @NoVagAnal that societal influences prevent some women from being more submissive. My wife grew up a Catholic school girl in a very religious home. She is also a very headstrong woman who has been in a male dominated workplace for decades. I believe anal is a great way for a woman to discover her submissive side. Trust is huge with anal sex and more anal sessions builds trust but also builds confidence. We still discover new anal techniques and build on the dom/sub dynamic.

Without question, anal sex can help a woman discover her submissive side. The elusive anal orgasm may be biologically/genetically associated. @semi-normal like us, it seems like your anal experiences improve each session. Maybe that orgasm will happen…
and who would ever complain about the practice that may be necessary to get there!

This is a great topic and, more importantly, a topic strongly associated with the anal only lifestyle.

[LindyLovesAnal]

I know I've changed and become more submissive and feminine since going Anal Only. Ever aspect of my life has improved so much.

As an example, historically I'd wear three layers, underwear t-shirt and a hoodie every time I left the house even in summer, I'd look like a sweaty grey blob. Now I wear dresses and skirts that show off my curves and cleavage. I get nice haircuts and use cosmetics.

In my personal life I'm so much happier. My marriage has improved immeasurably, I love my husband more and we display our affection openly, I just love bring a wife and mother now. This has had a positive effect on our children. They're happier, better behaved and their school performance has went up a level and stayed there.

Of course the chicken and egg question remains, did everything improve because I was having anal sex regularly and enjoying it or did I start having anal sex because everything else was improving?

[Colt1911]

@LindyLovesAnal it doesn’t really matter since you’re happy now. Anal only changed our sexual relationship in a most positive way and we’ve become even closer as friends and lovers. I think the trust factor has a lot to do with it.

[LindyLovesAnal]

@Colt1911 anecdotally everyone woman I know of who is open about having regular anal sex and enjoying it self report higher relationship satisfaction and more closeness with their partner after embracing Anal Only.

[Backdoorlover]

Once many years ago I read something about when anal sex becomes succesfull.

It said “when the heart says yes, the asshole says yes”

I agree on that. To have good anal sex there must first be trust. The receiver needs to believe the giver means well.

[Karla j 25]

I do not consider myself a submissive woman, I fulfill many of my boyfriend's fantasies in sex, but I also like to do them and in my daily life I feel that I am in control of my relationship, there are many things that I ask of my boyfriend. to do and he does them for me because he wants me to feel good with him, obviously I do the same for him, I don't feel that he is dominant with me, on the contrary I think that we both try to love each other. and we always try to get both of us to agree on our decisions, we have plans to get married
As for the other thing that if I have changed to only having anal sex, the truth is that if I have changed I feel more sexy and attractive, and when I am talking to other women I feel very sure of myself that I am more daring in sex than the other women so if I have changed to be happier to be an anal girl