How it was before and guilty feelings

[ChrisW]

There's a lot of discussion about how great anal sex is and moving towards an anal-only lifestyle but not so much about how it was for people before.

I'll never forget how things used to be between my girlfriend and myself. I used to feel huge guilt about my indifference to her pussy and worry that there was something wrong with me. All I wanted and lived for was to look at and play with her ass. I thought that her anus was the most perfect and beautiful thing I had ever seen. I'd tell her that but she'd often look embarrassed by the attention.

Our sex life was probably very average or ordinary and most people would have thought it normal and not complained. But every time I fucked her vagina I felt almost nothing or a numbness. I'd cum and it was over. Blink and you'd miss it kind of thing. Even my girlfriend in retrospect wasn't all that enthusiastic, but it was all we knew and what everyone does. I thought we were stuck with unsatisfying sex forever and it started to get me down, all the while still feeling bad about my preferences. I think if we had carried on as we were maybe we wouldn't be together today.

Only when we introduced anal did things slowly start to change. It wasn't just the increased pleasure (and that difference did blow my mind). My girlfriend became more attractive to me overall. We got along better in our everyday life and we felt more connected. Slowly she became more responsive sexually and would initiate sex more often too. It was wonderful to see her over time relax and not feel embarrassed about using her anus for sex. These days she can see the funny side of how she would make excuses not to do anal.

Now I'm free of my guilt about her pussy. If anything, being anal-only has made me appreciate it more. I can look at it and think it is pretty in its way. Often I'll cup it in my hand or rub it during sex and I can enjoy that. Most of all I love how it is now always empty and I don't feel at all bad about saying so.

[Backdoorlover]

I wrote about this subject on this forum.

First girlfriend

I carefully asked her about anal and her reply was “never in my life”. Which was a lie cause she tried anal later with other boyfriends.

Second girlfriend who became my wife

She told me a story about how her ex wanted to assfuck her, but that idiot tried going in totally dry kn a virgin’s asshole. So she got mad from pain and swore she’d never let anyone try that again. Straight up I answered “that’s too bad, cause I fantasize about anal a lot”. After 2 mins thinking she then said “well in that case I need to change my mind” and we did have anal sex. Just not very succesfull. She really wanted to but her asshole only relaxed anough when she was drunk. And the second I blew my load, she wanted me out. Been together with her for 25 years and had anal like 40 times max. Just wasn’t satisfactory.

Third girlfriend

When we were together for 6 weeks she asked me how I felt with using her other hole. I admited that I loved anal and would absolutly love to assfuck her. So we bought lube and started having anal sex as a plus on top of vaginal. I assfucked her about two times a week and felt I had won the jackpot. And after a few years she became highly toxic, we split up.

After her I basically assumed I already had the best behind me.

Then current girlfriend

She told me the first night we had sex that she only comes when anal is involved. When we did our first assfuck I asked how many times a week she would like and she said “I don’t know, let’s do it again tomorrow and see how it feels.”

She is the super jackpot. Asked her if she would do ass to mouth, explained about an anal douche. So we bought the diuche and she did her first ass to mouth. She liked it right away. Meanwhile ass to mouth is part of our daily sex.

[ChrisW]

And with all the girlfriends you always knew anal was what you wanted? Did you ever feel bad about it or were made to feel bad, like I was? How did you feel about vaginal sex?

[Backdoorlover]

Vaginal was okay because anal was a lot of fuzz which ruined the pleasure. That’s why I gave up trying with my first wife.

Second wife (3rd GF) I noticed I preffered her asshole over her pussy. But she was pussy oriented. So her periods were the best times a month for me, causebshe called it “other hole week” so in a way we were anal only one week each month.

[ChrisW]

Second wife (3rd GF) I noticed I preffered her asshole over her pussy. But she was pussy oriented.

It's sad that some women can't appreciate that their man adores their asshole and run with that. What could have been an opportunity to learn together and build an intense personal connection is wasted.