Truly AO men are hard to find

[paige]

I (40F) haven’t had an anal only arrangement or partner before. I’ve been casually looking for someone whose interest in this matches mine for the past six years. I dip in and out of dating and hooking up isn’t a problem.

What I’ve found is that most men in the regular dating scene like anal, but view it as bonus hole, an extra option. Many others are just not into it, or don’t have the experience to know.

Men that desire the complex mental play, eroticism, taboo, etc. of preferring anal to the point of not wanting pussy at all are rare!

Trying to meet AO guys specifically is worse because men will say anything when it comes to getting sex. My fetlife inbox is full of messages from Sir Dick McDomyouhard types or fuckboys who don’t even know what AO is. The few men I’ve connected with seeking a legit AO relationship all lacked basic social skills and an understanding that mutual interest, respect and friendship need to be established before AO is even relevant.

At this point I think I’m gonna go full cougar and get an ao-fwb thing going with an inexperienced university student… convert him for life hehe

[aNewFrivolity]

Hi Paige,

if it's any consolation, many of the sentiments you shared I've heard from other women in the kink scene as well. Fetlife seems to contain an endless supply of Dick McDomyouhards (love the term, mind if I steal it?).

For me, it took a long time to find play partners as well. Some I met through fet, some at munches/rope events, some through non-kinky friends. What I did find is that constant communication and creating an atmosphere of fun experimentation helped a lot - starting at already shared and established kinks and moving on from there towards more. Maybe that could work for you as well? Taking a promising candidate, having lots of kinky fun, and slowly introducing him to the world of AO, while also exploring avenues he's into?

As for going full-cougar, back when I was an inexperienced 20-something sitting alone in front of my fetlife profile and dreaming of what may be, I would have loved a friendly message and invitation from someone So if you're into that, sure, go for it, and give some lucky young guy's dick the orgasmically pulsing asshole he'll dream about forever

Either way, all the best!

[Backdoorlover]

It’s been said dat women in their 40 have a sexdrive which is best combined with the eagerness of twenty something guys.

So the cougar thing might just be what you need. Guys that age also have no issues with a mature woman guiding them into new territory.

[bmasteri]

Don’t give up just yet. Truly AO men do exist and this forum is a proof of that. Unfortuately not all can communicate or otherwise behave. I on the hand have struggled to find AO woman though I know they exist. I mean I have dated one before and met some but I would also like a long lasting lifetime relationship with one and that has not yet happened.

[Colt1911]

@paige it’s hard to believe a man wouldn’t be thrilled to engage in an anal only relationship but I have an obvious bias for anal sex.

However, as a man I take pride in satisfying my woman who orgasms only from anal sex. I’d like to think you’ll find a man who may not be familiar with anal sex but realizes he can turn you on much more during anal penetration.

Just a thought, but have you made it clear before and during anal that it is YOUR biggest turn on? It feeds my ego knowing I can make her cum anally. Maybe you’ll find and “convert” someone based on that dynamic.

[AssBreeder]

Men that desire the complex mental play, eroticism, taboo, etc. of preferring anal to the point of not wanting pussy at all are rare!

Hi Paige, don’t give up! We decent, smart and charming AO guys do exist.

PS. No pussy for me. Only anal (and throat).

[ChrisW]

@paige I think you've just been unlucky. We've all been there finding it difficult to meet compatible people. I think most men would jump at the chance to have an anal-only relationship.

[AlwaysLovedAnal]

Well, as a man, I can say finding AO women isn't a walk in the park either. Personally I started loving anal sex back in my teens. [A boomer here, and in my teens (1970s) both M and F thought it was kinda weird I would want to put my dick in that 'dirty place'.] Saying to a girl when you met, "By the way, I love fucking your ass. It's my favorite! Do ya dig it?" (It was the 70s.)
Other times in my life, it never was easy to find a sweet AO female. I never found it easy to bring up the topic. Similar to what you said, some women would do it a few times, even have crazy intense orgasms But I still heard, "it's not the right way to make love!" Or, "We can do it on your birthday."
So all of you who have found a life partner, who also enjoys AO, you are blessed!

[Colt1911]

@AlwaysLovedAnal also a boomer who fantasized about anal as a teen. My wife and I discovered anal after decades of marriage. I did have anal with two women in the 70’s but alcohol and drugs were involved. It wasn’t as accepted as it is now. It was an amazing discovery at this point of our lives. My wife loves it because of her orgasms. Maybe I’m naive, but if a woman experienced the intensity of an anal orgasm, I think she could learn to prefer anal.

[Belial]

I (40F) haven’t had an anal only arrangement or partner before. I’ve been casually looking for someone whose interest in this matches mine for the past six years. I dip in and out of dating and hooking up isn’t a problem.

What I’ve found is that most men in the regular dating scene like anal, but view it as bonus hole, an extra option. Many others are just not into it, or don’t have the experience to know.

Men that desire the complex mental play, eroticism, taboo, etc. of preferring anal to the point of not wanting pussy at all are rare!

Trying to meet AO guys specifically is worse because men will say anything when it comes to getting sex. My fetlife inbox is full of messages from Sir Dick McDomyouhard types or fuckboys who don’t even know what AO is. The few men I’ve connected with seeking a legit AO relationship all lacked basic social skills and an understanding that mutual interest, respect and friendship need to be established before AO is even relevant.

At this point I think I’m gonna go full cougar and get an ao-fwb thing going with an inexperienced university student… convert him for life hehe

Hi Paige. I think the kink scene is the way to go. Go full cougar there? The problem is filtrering out all the vanilla people that are out there. I think that has become a problem lately. Women have obviously even a bigger problems with that.
AO is not particularly common on the scene either in my opinion, but there are AO interested gentlemen