Restart the conversations

[analyeah]

New guy here. I tend to agree with Marcus on some of this. I think there is a lot to be said about AO. I have not had the good fortune to experience it yet, but have wanted it for a long time. As I think back, I have always had this preference, and finding this forum really struck a chord with me. And while I really think people can and should do what they mutually agree to do with each other, I am personally here to find out how and why people have come to AO. The wife sharing and whatnot threads, deviate from the subject of this forum, that does not mean they are deviant, just as I do not feel AO is deviant. I do agree that the deviations can detract from what I would like to see out of this forum. The descriptions of feelings and thoughts from both men and women really do speak to me as they are shared in this forum. So I hope there is more discussion, and I will try to provide some more input as well. This is not a mainstream topic, so it is not always the easiest to put yourself out there. As I get more comfortable, I will try to comment on some of the good starter topics you have started marcus. I really do want to learn more about AO and how I can move mine and my wife's relationship in that direction. I think it would be good for us, for various reasons, but we aren't there right now. I do hope there will continue to be new members, just like I am.

[DanishCouple]

I haven't had so much to write about for the last couple of month, but I have been checking in here 3-4 times a week. We still have some problems with her scars, but we have had anal sex a few times since last time I posted here, and over the last couple of weeks it has almost healed.

Strangely enough, once the tear has healed so much that the pain is bearable, anal sex seems to have a positive effect on the healing. One of the ways to treat anal fissure is dilatation, also known as Lord's Operation. The purpose of this procedure is to lower the anal canal pressure, and that is exactly what happens when we have anal sex more often. Of course there is a risk of ripping it up again, but when done with care it usually doesn't happen - in our experience, the effect is positive.

I don't think there has to be an explanation to why we prefer anal sex. For my part, I don't know where it came from - I have always liked anal sex, but it is the thought of, that my wife actually prefers it over vaginal sex that really turns me on, and I like her being "naughty". She says that she is a lot more sensitive back there than in her vagina, and that it has been like that since her first childbirth. She can not orgasm from vaginal sex without extra stimulation, but she easily can from anal sex, and the orgasms are a lot stronger. She is also turned on by the naughtiness of it - I normally don't like it so much to receive oral sex, so that happens rarely, but the other day when we talked about sex, I asked her if she would perform oral after anal, and her answer was: "Sure, why not, I just didn't think you liked it. I think it is a little kinky - I'll do it next time we have anal sex"
Man, that turned me on...

I don't see why we shouldn't talk about wife swapping and other things like that. My wife and I have talked about all sorts of fetishes and kinks, and we have also tried a few things. We have never been into sex with other people, but it is an option that we do not want to discard - but at the moment we just think that the thought of it is much better that the actual physical act - but who knows, maybe later in life. These things are also a part of life for people who prefer anal sex, and I think it is interesting to discuss such things in relation to our anal preference.

I'm a little sad to see, that member list is full of spam. I hope that the administrator of the board will take action soon, and clear out the list.

[taylork]

I kind of agree with you marcus in a way in that some of the conversation has been about stuff not connected to AO or anal which is what this is meant to be about. But on the other hand we are all different. I don't know maybe there should be a sub forum for the other stuff which isn't anal.

I also feel me and my gf are normal and the whole AO thing should be for normal people. I don't see us as being any different but for the fact we have replaced all vaginal sex with anal instead. I'm also into talking about why we are the way we are but can see others are different. I felt there was something different about me for so long and at first i felt it must be wrong so there must be some reason behind it all. And i just think anal sex is something natural for people and the instinct is in all of us but just modern people have made into something which shouldn't be done.

Anyway, thats just my opinion.

I really want like the OP said for more conversations

[Marquis]

I'm curious as to why the need to view AO as "normal". I think the argument could be very easily made that non-monogamy and bdsm are also "normal", but in reality everything outside of heterosexual monogamous sex PiV sex is more or less taboo.

[Prince Albert]

Does there have to be a reason for people to be AO?

There doesn't have to be. But I for one was/am interested in exploring that.

As most of us are in agreement that AO is our preference, does there really need to be a spoken acceptance for what we do as consenting adults. I do it because I enjoy it.

Understanding is the same thing as acceptance. But aren't you in the least bit curious what makes you different from the majority? If not, can you accept there are those who do?

I like the stories but don't like analyzing why we as a group prefer anal to vaginal.
Keep on keeping on

Personally, if I wanted masturbation material there are plenty of better places than this.

Having said all this, we are all different and what you do is your choice. I'm merely giving a personal account of why I no longer participate.

I don't think that I/we are different because we enjoy anal sex over vaginal. No different than someone liking the color red over blue. I'm not judgemental about people's sexual preference as long as no one is hurt, all parties involved are of consenting age and consent to the activities. I think the taboo of anal sex or BDSM or partner swapping is long gone with all the available information on the web.
Yes I can except people who want to analyze "why we enjoy anal" and why we are different from "normal" people. I simply choose to not read those threads. I'm not the least bit interested in why other people are AO but I like reading about their experiences and not for masturbation purposes.

[taylork]

I'm curious as to why the need to view AO as "normal". I think the argument could be very easily made that non-monogamy and bdsm are also "normal", but in reality everything outside of heterosexual monogamous sex PiV sex is more or less taboo.

Well for a long time i worried because i didn't want to have vaginal sex like all the other guys or talk about it all the time like they did. Always pussy this or pussy that. Now i'm happy because together my gf and me accept and think its the most natural thing for a guy and girl to want to have anal with each other. I thinks its about how you feel about it not what others think.

[prettypink]

I'm not surprised that there has been a quiet spell. Some of us have lives you know! I haven't visited in weeks for example, and when you have such a small community it takes time to build a rapport. And this board has been running for what, about 6 or 8 months? It just takes time people

However, there does appear to be a split amongst the members here on what they see this place as being about and I can see both sides. Nobody here is in the wrong and I'd hate to see arguments when we have much in common. We are all a little bit the outsider.

And I would like to see more discussion about how/why etc. It does fascinate me. Or rather, it fascinates me that so many either suppress the desire in themselves or attempt to do so in others. I'm not sure that those who prefer anal are different, more that they have accepted that aspect that is inside each of us. I think some members may need to be reminded that not everyone is as sexually confident, or as old, or as experienced as themselves. In some younger guys I've seen so much angst caused by an interest in wanting to experience anal in the face of so much misunderstanding.

I digress. Please, lets keeps the discussions rolling and positive!

[TheRockingRoll]

We are all a little bit the outsider.

It is surely difficult to keep together a community of outsiders

Each one of us has his or her own idea of anal sex, and his or her own whys and hows. So my advice would be trying to stick to our, ahem, "common ground"...

TRR

[mr.williams.wife]

My 2 cents, since I feel bad for abandoning conversations....

I do agree that there's really only so much that can be said. For the most part, any time i have a response to someone's post, someone else has already said it.

I guess I do consider AO kinky (but not deviant) and as such, I would expect conversation to turn to other kinky topics (swapping.) Although I didn't participate in those swapping conversations, my hub and I do have experience with that, so it didn't seem at all odd to me.

All that said, I do understand that we have two camps of thought here and both are okay. There is room for all of us.

[marcus]

My 2 cents, since I feel bad for abandoning conversations....

I do agree that there's really only so much that can be said. For the most part, any time i have a response to someone's post, someone else has already said it.

I guess I do consider AO kinky (but not deviant) and as such, I would expect conversation to turn to other kinky topics (swapping.) Although I didn't participate in those swapping conversations, my hub and I do have experience with that, so it didn't seem at all odd to me.

All that said, I do understand that we have two camps of thought here and both are okay. There is room for all of us.

The fact that anal or AO is considered 'kinky' is perhaps why many are frightened to try. I was hoping that the perception of anal could/can be normalised. Why should something that men and women have been doing for literally thousands or hundreds of thousands of years be thought of as kinky? For some of us it is the only way of enjoying a normal, healthy and satisfying sex life.

I have two points to make. One, I feel visitors may feel they won't feel at home here by mixing up to many other 'lifestyles' and the second being that there already exist a multitude of places to discuss these other 'kinks'.

My own opinion is that crazy as it may sound, anal and AO have a much wider appeal than wife-swapping to most people.