Canassman wrote:1) These things made me wonder about ways to contribute to "normalizing" the idea of anal. Do others have any ideas of ways we can contribute to this?
The idea that vaginal sex is any more "normal" than anal sex should be challenged. Here are some excerpts from my site that talk, not just about the benefits of anal sex, but the advantages of anal sex over vaginal sex.
I am of the belief that the benefits of anal sex make it better than vaginal sex for pure pleasure and intimacy.
1. Anal sex provides better orgasms for both partners. There's little denying the tightness of the anus provides more stimulation for the penis, providing more intense orgasms for the male. Most females I've talked to that say they enjoy anal sex (in other words, they gave it a chance and didn't have a guy who just jammed it in there) say they have more intense orgasms during anal sex then vaginal. There are many women who even prefer anal sex to vaginal for this reason.
2. Anal sex is more intimate. Let's face it, there really needs trust and intimacy in a relationship for anal sex. My wife and I reached a new level of intimacy when we started having anal sex. It was something that we alone shared, and our "dirty little secret". Unlike vaginal sex which is also practiced for procreation, anal sex is only practiced for the pleasure of the participants. That, in and of itself, builds trust and intimacy. Both partners can concentrate fully on the pleasure (both received and given) during the act of anal sex.
3. Anal sex is a great form of natural birth control. Yes, I've read the study that states anal sex has an 8% failure rate as a form of birth control. The same study stated condoms had an 11% failure rate. The study took into account those who said their primary form of birth control was anal sex, but then had vaginal sex. Therefore, anal sex would have a much lower failure rate if properly practiced. As well, the study says pregnancy may result from "seepage". Common sense would dictate that you not allow that to happen. As well, semen that is deposited deep in the rectum should be beyond the rectal valves. Unless the woman is on top of the man when he withdraws his penis, the semen should stay in the anus. As well, women must remember to wipe front to back for sanitary reasons, as well as birth control.
4. Anal sex may provide health benefits for the female recipient. Several studies have suggested the positive health effects of semen on women, such as feeling happier and more content. These studies were, one would assume, based on those having vaginal intercourse. As the rectal lining is thinner then that of the vagina, it is better able to absorb those bodies the produce the positive effects, making anal sex the superior method for delivering these benefits.
As far as the, "It's an exit" argument, what is there about the design of the anus and rectum that makes one assume this? To the contrary, if you look at the below illustration, which is shaped more like a penis, the vagina or the rectum? Which one is open ended and looks like it could accommodate a larger penis? The vagina is closed ended. It can be uncomfortable or even painful for a woman if a man hits the back wall of her vagina during intercourse. If a man ejaculates while the head of his penis is against the wall of the vagina, it can be difficult to ejaculate fully. He may even experience a retrograde ejaculation, where semen is forced into the urinary tract. As the rectum is open ended, the man can penetrate the woman fully and experience complete ejaculation. As well, as the rectum is tighter, the woman can feel each surge of the man as he ejaculates.
I always love the argument you can't have anal sex all the time, or you'll get bored with it. Really? Why is it no one says this about vaginal sex? To the contrary, the rectum is better suited for regular sexual activity. The larger, stronger muscles of the sphincter and the rectal valves not only have the ability to better stimulate a man's penis to ejaculation, but remain tighter with regular use. As well, once the vagina serves is purpose, that of delivering a baby, it will never be as tight as it once was, let alone as tight as the rectum. This is the primary reason many couples begin having anal sex after having children.
Of course, there's the argument that the vagina is self lubricating and the anus is not. As vaginal sex is necessary for the survival of our species, this is a mechanism to allow vaginal sex virtually any time, under any conditions. This allowed the human race, living in a cave somewhere, to procreate. Anal sex, on the other hand, only has one purpose, that of pleasure. If a person is in a position of enjoying sex, they can probably find a lubricant. I read someplace that the Greeks used their best olive oil for anal sex. Also, to say the rectum is without lubrication is not exactly true. While the anus has no mechanism for lubrication, the rectum itself is lined with a mucus that is very slippery.
One of the practical aspects of anal sex is one important to my wife - leakage. When we used to have vaginal sex, my cum would leak out of her vagina for the rest of the day. She hated this feeling and always had to wear a panty liner after vaginal sex. The secret is ejaculating beyond her rectal valves. During anal sex, I ejaculate beyond her rectal valves. Her valves then close as my penis is withdrawn, and my cum stays put. We can then go out to dinner and a movie, and she doesn't experience any negative side effects. To the contrary, her colon is better able to absorb the beneficial chemicals in my ejaculate. Then, when she has her next bowel movement, whats left comes out.
Canassman wrote:2) has anyone ever "come out" as enjoying anal? Or as an AO couple! To friends? Family? If so, how did it go? Did anyone express their interest? Disgust? Anyone change an opinion? Ideas of how to do this?
My wife's cousin is much younger than we are. He used to stay at our house on a regular basis. One time, my wife had left a butt plug in the shower after cleaning off. We didn't realize it until after he used the shower. There was no missing it. He didn't say anything, and neither did we.
Later, he got his girlfriend pregnant. I told him that wouldn't have happened if they had been having anal sex. A couple of years later, I was having a couple of beers with him and he told me his new girlfriend couldn't take birth control and neither one of them could stand condoms, so they took my advice and were having anal sex. I laughed and said that only worked if they only had anal sex. He just said I know, and we left it at that. We've never talked about it again.
They have been married several years now and I know for a fact she still isn't on birth control. When I went to their house to help him with his computer, it was in the bedroom. Right there, next to the bed was a large bottle of silicone lube. So, I'm pretty sure they are anal only. I just can't seem to bring myself to talk to him about it.
It really makes me wonder if there aren't a lot more of us out there than people realize.