Milestone: Orgasms every time with anal

[mardobolo]

For a few years my wife and I have been bringing more anal play into our sex. At first it was her request -- one day we were shopping for toys to spice things up, and she pointed to a butt plug and said, "I'd like to try that." Imagine the grin on my face. So we got the plug, and I would put it in her often when we'd go out to dinner or a movie. When we were in public I had this way of squeezing her hand and smiling to tell her I was thinking about it. Or when nobody could see, I'd use my fingers to surreptitiously press on the plug through her dress and panties -- standing in line for a movie or whatever. I very quickly observed that when we got home after these adventures, she was gushing so much lube it would go clear through her panties. I knew I was on to something!

I started mixing in anal every now and then -- she was open to it and of course I loved it. We got into this pattern where the plug would be in her backside while we did our usual vaginal+vibrator sex, she would have her orgasms, and then it was my turn. More often than not I would pull out the plug and fuck her in the ass to finish. She was accommodating but not really into it; by that point she was done.

Then a few weeks ago based on my reading here, I told my wife we should try something new, and that is for me to be in her ass when she uses the vibrator to come. She was skeptical but she went ahead with it. As I talked about in another thread, this was a HUGE success. She told me she had the biggest orgasms of her life. I took the opportunity to quiz the hell out of her. What felt best, should I stroke or stay more still, etc. She told me she likes the deep stroking best.

Ever since then, we've done anal every time we have sex. And every time she is having orgasms! (I can feel her anus contracting around me when it happens, it's so awesome.) After so many years of marriage I am almost embarrassed to report this, but last weekend we had our first simultaneous orgasm! She was really excited about it, we both were.

I don't know if we'll ever be completely anal only -- maybe we'll get there -- but it feels like her consistently having these orgasms is a huge milestone.

Thoughts on where to go from here? I imagine the next step is to start skipping the vaginal every now and then, and go straight to anal.

[analsexonly]

Congrats! That's awesome.

I'd start by trying to go straight to anal occasionally, and if that is a repeated success, try an anal only weekend sometime.

[marcus]

I'm pleased and excited for the both of you.

Having her anus contract like that around you is awesome! I find the pre-orgasm signs are contractions further up deep in her rectum, which as she climaxes pass slowly down in waves finally leading to those strong contractions.

I think it can take a while to really sink in, especially for a woman who would normally just associate complete sexual release with vaginal sex. But these consistent orgasms from sex every time they have anal (and the strength) is often the gateway I think. Realising that yes, there is an alternative.

Having anal every time (if you still are) means you've turned that corner of accepting it. People naturally fall into habits, and if you are still starting out with vaginal it doesn't necessarily mean that's what she even prefers any more. As analsexonly says, go straight to anal or even try anal only weekends , and try and break the routine. It can be a fun thing simply for that fact that you're both having a change (besides the fact that it's more enjoyable simply for being anal anyway).

[mardobolo]

these consistent orgasms from sex every time they have anal (and the strength) is often the gateway I think. Realising that yes, there is an alternative.

Having anal every time (if you still are) means you've turned that corner of accepting it. People naturally fall into habits, and if you are still starting out with vaginal it doesn't necessarily mean that's what she even prefers any more.

Yes that's why I really do see it as a milestone, her being able to have an orgasm during anal. Otherwise I feel compelled to do vaginal so she can come. (Don't want to be a selfish lover.)

Things are going great. We've had several more sessions where she's come hard with me in her ass. It's building a new pattern for how we make love. She seems to be loving it. I told her honestly a few weeks ago how amazing it feels for me, even better than vaginal sex. I also told her about how I can feel her orgasm when I'm in her ass, which I've never been able to feel with vaginal -- and how connected that made me feel to her experience.

We just got back from a weeklong family trip where things were put on hold (hard to get it on with kids sleeping in the same room). When we got back we were both really horny, and I was pleasantly surprised she told me unbidden that she needed some "kinky sex" (her way of saying anal). Unfortunately the trip and her period have left her feeling very dry down there -- chapped skin on and around her anus. She gets this every now and then, and needs to put on a moisturizing cream for several days to get back to normal. (Does anyone have any suggestions for specific products?) She suggested I should be in charge of putting the cream on her every night after she showers. I'm going to take her up on the offer. Since we don't have sex every day, I like the idea that the skin cream ritual each night will put me into more frequent contact with her anus. I'd like it to make it a form of sensual foreplay for us. I'm just focused on doing everything I can to promote feelings of pleasure there for her.

[Robert]

Things are going great. We've had several more sessions where she's come hard with me in her ass. It's building a new pattern for how we make love. She seems to be loving it. I told her honestly a few weeks ago how amazing it feels for me, even better than vaginal sex. I also told her about how I can feel her orgasm when I'm in her ass, which I've never been able to feel with vaginal -- and how connected that made me feel to her experience.

We've had the same experience. I can now feel a part of her orgasm. Its a shared event and so very special because of that. And I think that also enhances it for her too, as she knows I can feel every contraction and movement so clearly. No longer is it simply two people doing their own thing having their isolated experiences. This is a new dimension I never expected.

We just got back from a weeklong family trip where things were put on hold (hard to get it on with kids sleeping in the same room). When we got back we were both really horny, and I was pleasantly surprised she told me unbidden that she needed some "kinky sex" (her way of saying anal). Unfortunately the trip and her period have left her feeling very dry down there -- chapped skin on and around her anus. She gets this every now and then, and needs to put on a moisturizing cream for several days to get back to normal. (Does anyone have any suggestions for specific products?) She suggested I should be in charge of putting the cream on her every night after she showers. I'm going to take her up on the offer. Since we don't have sex every day, I like the idea that the skin cream ritual each night will put me into more frequent contact with her anus. I'd like it to make it a form of sensual foreplay for us. I'm just focused on doing everything I can to promote feelings of pleasure there for her.

Wow that is really hot. I would LOVE to get to finger my girls ass even on the days we don't have sex.

[marcus]

Unfortunately the trip and her period have left her feeling very dry down there -- chapped skin on and around her anus. She gets this every now and then, and needs to put on a moisturizing cream for several days to get back to normal. (Does anyone have any suggestions for specific products?) She suggested I should be in charge of putting the cream on her every night after she showers. I'm going to take her up on the offer.

Who could refuse such an offer!

Since we don't have sex every day, I like the idea that the skin cream ritual each night will put me into more frequent contact with her anus. I'd like it to make it a form of sensual foreplay for us. I'm just focused on doing everything I can to promote feelings of pleasure there for her.

Applying that cream may take some time! And I could see that continuing long after she has healed!

[mardobolo]

Wow that is really hot. I would LOVE to get to finger my girls ass even on the days we don't have sex.

Do you live together with your girlfriend? You might suggest it to her! Most women like to be fussed over, and are used to the idea of preventive maintenance with skin creams etc. My wife has a whole array of things she puts on after she showers.

She likes to be in the spoon position when I put on the cream. This is one of our favorite positions for anal sex so it is very suggestive. It's only been two days so far but it's been a very enjoyable way to end our day together.

Applying that cream may take some time! And I could see that continuing long after she has healed!

Yes indeed! We'll need to keep it up so she doesn't get dry and chapped again. Ongoing preventive maintenance.

[marcus]

Nice as it sounds I'd just get too aroused by this and want to take it further! And I'd forget what I was supposed to be doing and just start probing deeper and deeper.

[mardobolo]

Nice as it sounds I'd just get too aroused by this and want to take it further! And I'd forget what I was supposed to be doing and just start probing deeper and deeper.

Yes I am learning there is definitely that risk! So far I've been able to muster the self-control to stay away from penetration. The thing that's harder for me to avoid is analingus. When she's all clean and ready for bed, then curls up on her side and presents her bottom to me -- it is extremely hard to resist stealing a kiss (or a lick!). I confess I may have taken that opportunity a few times.

So far it's working out brilliantly. I have my daily "excuse" to touch her anus, and she really seems to be enjoying the sensual attention. A few nights ago as I was inspecting her there and putting on the cream, she chuckled and said, "It's like you're taking care of your property!"

All in all it's been a remarkable bonding experience.