I've been incredibly happy so far in 2015 with it being an "anal only" time - but still worried that at some time it could all change. So, I've avoided a conversation abt it at all... Until tonite. We've had a week of daily lovemaking, including what she described as quite likely the best orgasm of her life. Due to us both catching a virus we were exhausted & not able to have sex tonite. Instead we cuddled & caressed & chatted. I told her how much I loved her - her personality, intelligence, humour, & sexual nature. I told her how attracted I was to her physically as well - including her "brown starfish". She laughed & said she never thought of her asshole as sexy b4. I assured her it was. We both acknowledged that we were having the best sex of our 25 year marriage, and never felt more close & connected than now. She said she was glad I enjoyed it so much & said she loved it too. I asked if she felt pressured to do it (my big fear was this question) - she said no - that she loved it, loved me, & that it made her orgasms more intense than ever b4. She was up for trying any positions as well. She said that she did miss some vaginal action though. Ive had a cold sore all week & have been unable to perform oral on her - which I love to do. I reminded her it was almost gone & once it was I would happily satisfy her with some good pussy eating. In addition we talked about her using her dido more - perhaps for some dp action. She said she has been enjoying taking a submissive role in love making lately & thinks she may be sexually submissive by nature. In short she enjoys our anal only lovemaking & feels it has made us stronger. I think we r going Anal Only!
I told her how happy I was & held her & caressed her till she drifted off. As I listen to her breathing & I realize what a lucky man I am & I wanted to share the good news with u all.
It's funny how women are shocked and surprised to learn we love the "brown starfish" and find it the most amazing and sexy attribute they have.
And she's right about it making you stronger - I feel that as we get nearer to AO it only makes us stronger, more compatible and more connected. I wish other couples could go through this too as it is the most amazing experience. Really special.
All I can add is - enjoy yourself!
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Canassman wrote:...All continues to be anal only - regardless of whomever initiates sex...
That's great to hear Canaassman. This is the way it usually seems to work for most couples I've talked to; they just gravitate more and more toward anal, until they just don't do vaginal any more.
My wife and I went through this process over a number of years. We progressed to the point that, for several years prior to going "anal only," we might have started in her vagina once every four or five times we had sex. Those times we did have vaginal it just seemed cursory, like it was being done because we were supposed to. Then, we went about two months without have any vaginal sex. I was excited, thinking my wife had come to the point she wanted anal only. Then she directed me into her vagina one night. It lasted about 15 seconds and she said, "It just doesn't belong there. I just think I'm built different." It was about two weeks later that my wife asked me if I cared if we didn't have vaginal sex anymore. I was overjoyed.
After that, it was like my wife felt more free to enjoy anal sex, without some feeling she was "supposed to have vaginal sex." We had sex more. She relaxed more. She wanted it deeper and harder. In short, she let herself enjoy it more, as she no longer had some feeling she was supposed to be having vaginal sex instead.
I believe you two are there, it just hasn't been said yet. Best of luck!
I always see each successful couple as another victory, defying the old conventions and showing that there can be another way which despite all the naysayers, brings immense joy and pleasure to both even when practiced exclusively.
She doesn't know about this forum, but I'm thinking about sharing it with her & hoping she will have an interest in joining. She's not really into this type of communication usually, but I'm hoping she may try...
My last thoughts on this are that your wife, given the long abstinence from vaginal sex, is that she's built it up in her mind into something that it never was. Some alternative stimulation, such as the dildo play you suggested would seem the way to go. That will either 'fill that gap' (so to speak) or clarify her feelings about vaginal sex.
Continue as you are to be loving and gentle and supportive with her. I hope this helps.