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Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
MrJadaddy wrote:I thought about it and told her I want to have control over her cunt and clit and never let them be touched again. She says she would enjoy learning to have anal only orgasms but that if she cannot after a few months, she will accept that she won't orgasm again just to make sure she gives me the most intense and satisfying orgasms ever.
This seems quite drastic and it led me to a question for everybody on the site who is in an AO relationship:
Given that very few women can have orgasms from anal sex alone, how does your woman get sexual satisfaction? Answering my own question, my wife uses a Hitachi vibrator on her clit when we have anal sex, and that combination gives her a very powerful climax. (And the obligatory truth-in-advertising statement: We aren't AO but most of her orgasms are during anal.) Thoughts?
MrJadaddy, welcome to the site! The idea of your girlfriend forgoing orgasms entirely doesn't sound long-term sustainable to me, but then what do I know? I've heard of men who wear chastity devices and their wives only grant them an orgasm every couple of months. I guess what you're talking about is the converse, with male and female roles reversed.
Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
We r AO regarding penetration, but my wife will use fingers or grind her legs (spooning position) to achieve orgasm.
Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
MrJadaddy wrote:My new girlfriend is submissive to me and she has hinted at wanting to just abandon her pussy and clit completely in order to best please me with her ass. I told her I was honored but had to think about it since it was a big step.
I thought about it and told her I want to have control over her cunt and clit and never let them be touched again. She says she would enjoy learning to have anal only orgasms but that if she cannot after a few months, she will accept that she won't orgasm again just to make sure she gives me the most intense and satisfying orgasms ever.
The deal we worked out is that she would find me women to fuck in their pussies while she watched so that I could get some pussy now and then... But just not from her.
I feel like a lucky man!
You sound like a jerk, actually. I suggest starting with what she wants, and working from there.
YS
Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
yosemite wrote:MrJadaddy wrote:My new girlfriend is submissive to me and she has hinted at wanting to just abandon her pussy and clit completely in order to best please me with her ass. I told her I was honored but had to think about it since it was a big step.
I thought about it and told her I want to have control over her cunt and clit and never let them be touched again. She says she would enjoy learning to have anal only orgasms but that if she cannot after a few months, she will accept that she won't orgasm again just to make sure she gives me the most intense and satisfying orgasms ever.
The deal we worked out is that she would find me women to fuck in their pussies while she watched so that I could get some pussy now and then... But just not from her.
I feel like a lucky man!
You sound like a jerk, actually. I suggest starting with what she wants, and working from there.
YS
You sound clueless, actually. If she's submissive, she wants him to do what he wants.
Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
I dont think you are a jerk. If your girl is truly submissive that is what will turn her on and please her. So yes you are lucky. But u should let the door a little open still. Maybe after some time she will change her mind and you will have to accept this.
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Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
To someone who prefers a more balanced sexual power dynamic, dominant/submissive relationships can seem abusive. They are not, and in fact they often have a much more clearly defined idea of consent than most relationships to prevent abuse from occurring. A submissive person often gets off on the idea of pleasing their partner more than the particular sexual acts themselves. It's not abusive for a man to want a woman to be anal only for him and deny herself vaginal and clitoral stimulation and for that woman to then choose to do that for him because it's what he wants and she gets off on doing what he wants. He is not forcing anything, it is done out of mutual desire.
Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
I'm really happy for you and your relationship!
Personally I prefer equitable sexual relationships and try to avoid the D/s paradigm. Sometimes I feel submissive, sometimes I feel dominant, but I don't see anything liberating or empowering in being dedicated to putting the pleasure of your partner above your own. Selflessness and selfishness are out of the picture for me IRL. To me it's all about appreciating eachother's needs and reciprocating pleasure. I don't see anal exclusivity as necessarily being a submissive act that only benefits the man. It's just the normal way to have sex for me, but I can understand how it can be viewed differently. In fact I think it's natural and normal for men to want to be dominant and women to want to be submissive, and I often fantasize about a master/slave relationship. But there's a big difference between fantasy and desire, and I just couldn't see myself practicing that sort of lifestyle.
And that's definitely not meant to be a diss at the OP or anybody who is in that sort of relationship! I firmly believe you should do what feels best, and there's no right or wrong way to be in an AO relationship (except things that are outright abusive and without consent). As with everything sexual, it all depends on the person.
Personally I prefer equitable sexual relationships and try to avoid the D/s paradigm. Sometimes I feel submissive, sometimes I feel dominant, but I don't see anything liberating or empowering in being dedicated to putting the pleasure of your partner above your own. Selflessness and selfishness are out of the picture for me IRL. To me it's all about appreciating eachother's needs and reciprocating pleasure. I don't see anal exclusivity as necessarily being a submissive act that only benefits the man. It's just the normal way to have sex for me, but I can understand how it can be viewed differently. In fact I think it's natural and normal for men to want to be dominant and women to want to be submissive, and I often fantasize about a master/slave relationship. But there's a big difference between fantasy and desire, and I just couldn't see myself practicing that sort of lifestyle.
And that's definitely not meant to be a diss at the OP or anybody who is in that sort of relationship! I firmly believe you should do what feels best, and there's no right or wrong way to be in an AO relationship (except things that are outright abusive and without consent). As with everything sexual, it all depends on the person.
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Re: New Submissive Girlfriend Going Anal Only
MikeyR wrote:yosemite wrote:MrJadaddy wrote:My new girlfriend is submissive to me and she has hinted at wanting to just abandon her pussy and clit completely in order to best please me with her ass. I told her I was honored but had to think about it since it was a big step.
I thought about it and told her I want to have control over her cunt and clit and never let them be touched again. She says she would enjoy learning to have anal only orgasms but that if she cannot after a few months, she will accept that she won't orgasm again just to make sure she gives me the most intense and satisfying orgasms ever.
The deal we worked out is that she would find me women to fuck in their pussies while she watched so that I could get some pussy now and then... But just not from her.
I feel like a lucky man!
You sound like a jerk, actually. I suggest starting with what she wants, and working from there.
YS
You sound clueless, actually. If she's submissive, she wants him to do what he wants.
Maybe so, probably not. We're all working out of our own tragedies. Real love seeks the good of the beloved, not our own pleasure.
YS