Quick update.
When I first wrote my introduction I never told my whole story. I thought it was not relevant and not intresting for the people of the forum.
Much have changed since then. I was out from a situation in my life during which I had to completely go against my nature just to try save a relationship that, to be honest, now I don't even understand why I was so determined to carry on. The kids, that's the only answer... we had kids and I wanted the family to stay together for them. Things have gone otherwise..
Sexually talking, being anal only it's only a part of who I really am. Previusly, since the age of 16, I've always been dominant in bed and into BDSM. I am a Master. When I first met the girl that later became my wife, I was honest to her and told her evrything about me. She was inexperienced but she said she was ok for her and that she wanted to try. The only thing I know is that we spent only a fraction of time experimenting together compared to the time she spent trying to make me feel guilty for how I was.
During that period I had a lot of time to think about myself, about my sexual needs and what made me function in a certain way. Internet was a great help in putting me in contact with the thought of people all over the world (something that was not possible when I was younger) and I also started meeting likeminded people on my area at local munches or reunions. Even if it was a great relief, I still was not completely comfortable with my desires, that are at least a little extreme.
As I said, being anal only is only a little part of who I am. It's difficult to explain why (maybe in aother post, it require a long explanation to be "acceptable"), but I'm also into permanent vaginal chastity through piercings, both penetration and clit stimulation, and orgasm tease and denial... nad I mean possibly permanent denial.
The normal reactions I get when I try to explain all of this is a look of astonishment like I'm a kind of selfish bastard. And belive me I'm not...
I am not because I would never force anyone into it. It would have to be a mutual desire to make it work.
Obviously I ended up considering it impossible to happen and that if I would ever met the right person with whom to live the lifestyle, I would have to settle for just a parto of that, most of all regarding the orgasm denial part and call me lucky if it was the right person with which to form a real and enduring bond.
And then it happened... just the desire to talk and to start a friendship with someone with ideas similar to mine, led me to start a conversation with a person that day by day has proven itself to be surprisingly complementary to my way of thinking and feeling things. Someone that unfortunately lives far away from me. Now I don't know what future will have in store for me and for her, but just the knowledge that she is there, that as much "wrong" you can consider yourself, out there there can be someone for which you are "right", it's a great joy.
To cut a long story short, if someone have had the patience to read all of that till the end, my message is: be yourself, respect all the people, but never feel ashamed if you are different. Being different can make you feel lonely, but it can also make you "one of a kind" to the eyes of that person who is looking for you out there.
Fuck, I sound pathetically romantic...
