Tell me, did anal live up to your expectations? I know that for me after a anal-sexless failed marriage, that the experience with my now girlfriend was way better than I had hoped.
@Canassman, I’ve read through some of the posts from you and your wife and your strong commitment to open communication is evident. Communication and mutual pleasure are cornerstones to any deep connection, without doubt.
@kingsman in terms of expectations, it was wonderful, but really any sexual experience my wife and I have shared in the last year have been so. I don’t think I really had expectations, I’m just hoping we can both enjoy this new phase.
@analogue , it actually hasn’t felt like hard work. I have an innate enthusiasm for all of this, so all of my research and purchasing of butt plugs, lingerie, anal lube, finger cots, etc. have been fun diversions for me.
So just to give a brief addendum to my latest update, the next night, we got the kiddos to bed and again my wife initiated some intimacy. This time, after stroking me, she leaned over to start giving me an exquisite blowjob. I could tell she was really into it as she was taking me in much deeper than usual. She would slow down to tease my nipples and balls before taking my full length again. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I warned her I was going to come. She proceeded to take me in deeper and actually swallowed my first couple of spurts before pulling me out, spraying against her mouth and my belly. It was amazing -- the best blowjob she’s given me in years.
I cleaned up and then asked what I could do for her. She has been lamenting that her vibrator had broken and she needed a new one and she now mentioned it again. I offered the G-spot vibrator I had purchased for us to play with. I turned it on one of the many settings and she grabbed it to start working on her pussy. She said, “You can play with my nipples if you want to.” I couldn’t turn down that invite! So I started teasing and sucking her nipples, as well as kissing her shoulder and neck. Then she said, “Talk dirty to me. Tell me about what we did last night.” (!)
So then I recounted in juicy detail about fucking her in the ass the night before and how I could tell she was enjoying getting her ass pounded. I told her that the next time I wanted her to work her vibrator on her pussy while I fucked her ass, how much I loved having my cock in her ass, etc. She was loving it and after a time came to a thrashing orgasm.
So the biggest revelations of these wonderful back to back nights:
- My wife knows anal sex doesn’t hurt
- The idea of anal sex arouses her
- She’s interested in the logistics of doing it
- She’s openly stated that we’ll do it again
- She doesn’t need me to wear a condom
- She has no problem with me coming inside her ass
I feel such love for my beautiful wife and my desire for her borders on animalistic. And this is after being together almost 20 years!
So after that whirlwind couple of nights, my wife and both had a quiet night, without sex. The next night seemed to be the same as kiddos were in bed and my wife came in to bed and turned her light off. I kept mine on… just in case. We talked for a bit and then she turned onto her side away from me which is often the sign that we’ll snuggle up and go to sleep. I slipped my hand under her jammies and put my hand on her ass. We both lay still for a bit. I slowly started massaging her ass cheek. I really had no intent of initiating anything, I was just being in the moment.
If you’ve read through this thread, I detailed the bliss of this experience months ago; of massaging my wife’s ass as she fell asleep, approaching her anus and how at that time I didn’t want to stop to lube up a finger cot for fear of “breaking the spell.” Well this time, as I approached her anus, my wife reached around and said, “Get closer to me.” As I moved closer, I repositioned my finger directly onto her anus. She asked if I had a finger cot on my finger and when I told her I didn’t, she jokingly scolded me. So I put a finger cot on and applied some special anal lube I’d purchased. With the benefit of my night light on, I pulled the sheets down a bit, spread her cheeks and liberally lubed up her asshole. I snuggled back up with her as before and I inserted my finger into her ass. She moved her hair from her neck so I could kiss and bite her there. I started to finger fuck her ass and she soon took her shirt off to give me more access to her neck and shoulders. At times I withdrew my finger completely before inserting again. She started playing with her nipples and moaning. Finally, she reached back into my sleep pants to start stroking my cock.
I got up and removed my pants and top, and applied lube to my cock. My gorgeous wife held her ass cheeks open as I climbed back on the bed. I started finger fucking her ass again for a bit with one hand while stroking myself with the other hand. I kissed her neck and asked her what she wanted me to do and she said, “I want you to do whatever you want to do.” I knew what she meant, so I prepped our Njoy butt plug with lube and inserted into her ass while I continued to stroke myself to full erection. I withdrew the plug and we moved around to try entering her ass from behind, with my wife on all fours. I was having difficulty gaining entry and my wife suggested we go back to our previous position of both being on our side, with me behind her. Sure enough, that was perfect and I easily slid my cock into her ass. Unlike the other night, I took off the “training wheels” and started fucking her firmly. I asked her if she wanted to get back in the position of the other night, with her on her back but she said she liked this position, that it was more primal and animalistic. I continued full-on ass fucking her deep. I asked her how it felt and I was thrilled to hear her say, “It actually feels really good!”
I kissed her neck and we both were whipping ourselves into a frenzy. Finally, I started pistoning in and out before exploding into her ass, pulling her close to savage her neck. She went wild! It was like the room was spinning for both of us. It was near orgasmic for her as she was yelling out unlike she ever does during sex.
We got our breath back and she asked for a towel underneath her and for the vibrator again. She asked if I had any porn to watch, so I opened up the laptop to log into the one porn site I have a membership to (frolicme, highly recommended!) We browsed through the options and she settled onto a light BDSM scene which started with a man lightly flogging a woman’s ass before inserting a butt plug. The scene continues to a blowjob and then vaginal sex before it shifts to anal sex. While the woman in the video is getting fucked in the ass from behind, she furiously rubs her pussy. As we watched, I said to my wife that she could use her vibrator if we were to do the same position we had just done, but I didn’t know if that would be over stimulation for her. My wife reassured me by saying, “No, no, I want to do that!” The scene ended and my wife continued with the vibrator.
I stepped out to give my cock a good wash with soap and water and returned to our bedroom. We had a really good conversation about where we are with all of this. She acknowledged how I’ve worked to get us to this point and she asked what was the inspiration and I pretty much walked her through what I’ve detailed in this thread, about that rear entry ass tease situation from 18 months ago and then me taking the big step to open up to her that this is something that excites me and arouses me. She told me that she still sometimes doesn’t have great body image (we’ve both been actively losing weight) but that it helps when she knows that I find her attractive. So she seems to like the racy lingerie sets I’ve been getting her! And she revealed that she really likes when I tell her what to do when are fooling around which I think is something I haven’t really grasped yet. So we could be looking at some submissive opportunities here.
She was still using her vibrator while we had this conversation and eventually she worked herself to an orgasm. Meanwhile, I had stroked myself erect again. She kept at it with the vibrator and I moved in to mount her. As she worked the vibrator on her clit, I entered her pussy and we fucked for a while. Now I haven’t done two rounds in many a year and sure enough my hard-on started to slip away. I withdrew to lay next to her. She said she was good and I shouldn’t feel pressure to come inside her again. I stroked myself for a bit but then realized I was all good too. She cleaned up and we resumed our spooning hug. I pulled her in close and told her how much I love her.
I’m in list mode it seems, but I wanted to just spell out the most jaw-dropping parts of all of this. And remember for context that my wife and I have had stretches where we didn’t have sex for months - not due to any problems, but just from a busy life with kids and jobs and such. But here’s where we are:
- My wife & I had a straight to anal session. In my wildest fantasies, I thought we could work up to this maybe a year after first having anal sex, but here it was three days after!
- My wife had her most visceral near orgasmic penetration experience in years when I ejaculated deep in her ass.
- My wife seemingly now enjoys masturbating to anal themed porn.
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One key has been communication–just checking in periodically–akin to how @Canassman has outlined in some of his threads. Some of those conversations have been more difficult than others but in the end we continue to grow closer. We had one session recently where my wife had expressed a desire to get fucked in the pussy since we’d had a month of mostly anal sex. Unfortunately during this particular session, I had trouble maintaining an erection and this led to some dismay from her and some statements in frustration, such as that sex in her pussy had been “ruined by anal sex.” But we talked it through and she knows that I want to have sex with her, not her body parts. She also understands how excited I get for incorporating anal play, so we talked it through some more, building onto our foundation of love and trust.
The other key development in this last year is that my wife is now genuinely aroused by anal play. Our often go-to move when we start getting intimate is to engage in deep kissing w/ some neck biting for her while I simultaneously start fingering her ass. She is easily penetrated without any lube, literally sucking in my finger with her ass. We’ve found some sort of G-spot (A-spot?) through deep anal fingering and she now moans in pleasure when I stick my tongue in her ass. And yes, she enjoys having her ass fucked! We had an amazing three week stretch in October of having anal sex every two or three days. And the more we do it, the better it gets, to where lately I’ve been literally pounding her ass.
And the last few days reflect all of this. When we got down to fucking the other night my wife asked, “How are you going to take me?” and I thought of our most recent serious discussion and replied, “Let’s start in your pussy and see where that goes” and we wound up having a great session with me fucking her pussy from behind, with the requisite anal fingering and ass licking.
Last night while she was sucking my cock I noticed how open and relaxed her ass was to my multiple fingers, so that when I got off the bed to fuck her, there wasn’t even discussion: I just started in on fucking her ass. So great! Just a really solid ass fucking. She told me afterwards that she likes how my cock feels in her ass more than my fingers, so I continue to learn how to please her.
When she returned to the bedroom from cleaning up last night she noted how wet her pussy was and so she settled down with her vibrator. She said she wanted to watch something while she masturbated and actually requested some anal porn! So we watched a nice anal scene together before finally turning in for the night. Again, just a fantastic evening.
We still have to navigate around busy lives and three kiddos. I have a stockpile of erotic lingerie and sex toys to roll out when we get the chance. And I just revealed that I have some under bed restraints to tie her up and my wife said she’s looking forward to it! We’ve started talking about this submissive element and I think that will be an exciting path to go down. She’s made it clear she likes it when I take charge and consequently I know I can pretty much take her in the ass now whenever I want.
In turn I make sure I listen to her needs to be a loving partner. When I started down this path with her almost two years ago, I really was limited in thinking that this was about adding the act of anal sex into our relationship but the benefits to our relationship have been richer in so many ways.