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I've been a lurker for some time now and finally I decided to introduce myself and share my story and current situation. I will make an attempt to keep it as short and informative as possible. But there will be some text...
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1. My story and advice on how to ask people to have anal sex with you
2. My situation and (almost) anal only lifestyle
1.
Even as a kid I was interested in anal things, I have an early memory of stuffing legos in my behind. So as I got older and had my first experiences with masturbation and girls it felt natural for me to include that part of our bodies. I was in a serious relationship in my teens for about three years. But when it came to anal she was very much against it (this was before internet porn and back then it was a huge tabu where I grew up) and she, for lack of a better word, shamed me for my inclination. She thought I had psychological issues and basically called me crazy for wanting to touch her there. To be fair, since I had no experience whatsoever I'm pretty sure I made lots of mistakes when trying to include anal play with her
![Confused :?](./images/smilies/icon_e_confused.gif)
Anyway, after that relationship ended (for completely other reasons) and some other bad experiences later on I was kinda done with trying to have anal sex with girls and girls in general. After the internet became a thing and I did lots of research on the topic of anal sex, I eventually met a girl who was willing to try it with me and it was the best sex ever, for both of us. I knew then that I wasn't crazy after all!
-->Some advice on how to tell your partner that you want to try anal (always worked for me): First tell her/him in words that you are into it. I know this is probably hard and will make you vulnerable but from my experience, it's the best way. Anal is something you have to prepare for mentally and physically, especially if you've never done it before. Also if you open yourself up to your partner with intimate details about you it strengthens your connection and mutual trust! See how he/she reacts and give it some time. If your partner loves you, your needs and desires are important to him/her so I'd say you can at least expect them to think about it. When they're ready to try it just be slow, start with the outside first and combine it with stimulation of the other parts, unless requested otherwise. And most imporantly: Don't do anything you see in porn, in porn they do things that look good not necessarily things that FEEL good. Be confident, but gentle and loving.
Sadly, that relationship didn't last either because she moved away to study and things got complicated. I loved her like crazy and the breakup hurt a lot so I was pretty much done with relationships at that point. After that I totally got hooked on internet porn and masturbating. I also started anal masturbation again but usually just as a turn on or in combination with fapping. It always felt good, but my focus was on getting turned on by porn and orgasming as fast as possible. This resulted in me not being able to enjoy real sex with women anymore but it took me a long long time to realize I had to stop (porn addiction).
2.
So about a year ago (I'm a little over 30) I finally had the power and motivation to stop watching porn. I met a wonderful woman, she's pretty much my soulmate spiritually, sexually and mentally and I couldn't be happier
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
So that's her side. She is also the first woman I ever met that is willing to play with my ass so I'm in heaven... But after the initial rush in our relationship I realized that my stupid porn addiction is really in the way of me enjoying our sex life - I was constantly fantasizing about the porn I was watching instead of focusing on her, I had difficulty orgasming with her etc... So about ~10 months ago I completely quit porn. Things improved but as you can imagine after 10 years of abuse my brain needs time to heal. So we decided to not have sex for a while and I then also stopped masturbating with my penis. It was one of the hardest things I ever did (quitting cigarettes was a breeze in comparison).
To take the edge of from time to time I would allow myself to masturbate anally without touching my penis (riding a dildo mostly) and for the past month or so that's the only sex I had (apart from orally satisfying my girl of course but she's not allowed to touch my cock atm) And it's the weirdest thing... At first it felt as usual, good pleasing but not amazing and I was craving to touch my cock all the time. There was some build up but then i tensed up and got distracted etc. But now after doing it a few weeks (every 3rd day or so) the feeling is getting better and better. I have what I can only describe as intense anal orgasms that come from inside that are totally mindblowing, different than anything I've experienced before. So far they are without ejaculation, which is ok because I'm trying to get away from being hooked on that anyway. This also means that I don't have a refractory peroid and I can basically do it as long as I want. The feeling of satisfaction afterwards is not as complete as with ejaculation but for the moment I enjoy keeping that sexual energy going. I can only recommend trying it out for yourself! For me it was kinda hard at first but totally worth it and I also want to find out if I can ejaculate from anal only stimulation.
I'll give it another few weeks and then try to get back into having sex with my gf. But I don't think I'll be touching my penis any time soon when I'm alone... My plan is that the cock and my cum is just something for my gf to enjoy and give her anal orgasms. I've used that thing more than enough...
Feel free to ask any questions about any part of my story.
cheers and have fun.