Hello from El Paso, TX

ricosuave0518 · Post by **ricosuave0518** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 10:14 pm

Hi everyone... let me start off by explaining my situation. The wife and I have been married for 13 years and have been having anal sex for maybe 10. After our third baby, my wife started complaining about vaginal pain during penetration. She started asking me for anal more and more to my delight... I'm absolutely obsessed with anal! Anyway, 2 years ago anal become more commonplace than before but including clitoral stimulation. Rarely does she ask for vaginal, but I slip it in once in a while once she has begun to orgasm with clit and anal stimulation... just to test the waters. I have mentioned going only anal and how sexy I think it is... having her orgasm from anal only but she is having a hard time. She must have the clit played with in order to orgasm, but able to orgasm with vaginal after anal sex. Any tips for us?

Analonely · Post by **Analonely** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 7:54 am

First thing: don't worry about orgasm. Get together to be together, and that's it. Try to see the experience as an end on itself, not means to an end: this will not only bring you closer but probably make you do it more often. This, in turn, will heighten the whole experience, even beforehand, and probably improve the relationship overall.

Second thing: if 'release' is a must, masturbate her yourself instead of letting her do it. This may go unnoticed, but if she absolutely needs to masturbate while you're making love, chances are she's already seeing the whole act as means to an end and you/your penis as an enhancer of her pleasure (objectification).

Third: talk to her about the first two things I mentioned and if the overall response is positive, do it gradually: if you make love X times a month, take masturbation away altogether in 1/10. See how it goes. Then 2/10 and so on...

I gave some answers in these two posts that might help/give food for thought (first one is lengthy and the discussion furthers, but I believe it's the most comprehensive one); have her read it too

From "anorgasmia" to pure bliss

Enjoying Anal?
Hello from Phx
Hi I'm Ana

Monica · Post by **Monica** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 9:30 am

I have friends and family in El Paso! Welcome to the forum.

Post by **analsexonly** » Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:45 am

Welcome! It sounds like she'd be satisfied with just anal, and you're the one who keeps trying vaginal intermittently? Anal only with clit stimulation is still anal only (clit denial is a step some choose to take, but isn't a necessary component of anal only for everyone). You might experiment with it if it interests the both of you, and sometimes it can be effective as a way of eliminating the easier forms of stimulation to orgasm and developing the ability to orgasm from just anal.

If you want to go anal only, I would suggest starting with just anal + clit and do that for a few months, then try easing away from clit play if the two of you would like to experiment further with that. It doesn't seem like there's much reason to continue with vaginal?