Adding AO as a new dynamic in a D/s relationship

[mr_h99]

Hello to all -

I'm glad I found this forum. This is my introduction post, but I want to use it to ask some advice. If I should move this to a different forum please let me know.

I am involved in a consensual D/s relationship that has been going strong for several years - I am the Dominant one. Recently, we decided to embark as AO and have found it to be a powerful addition to our D/s dynamic. It is something we discussed over a long period of time, and took many baby steps up to the point of becoming AO. Along with this, I also control my sub's orgasms so she is only allowed to have them with my permission.

As we have explored AO for admittedly a short amout of time so far - just a few weeks - she is finding that she is feeling needy about having her pussy neglected for fucking. She is fully on board with becoming AO and finds it to be very powerful and gives her an increase in intimacy between us, but there are times in the moment when she feels a strong need from her pussy feeling neglected. She feels conflicted because she doesn't want to beg to have her pussy fucked in the moment as that spoils the intimacy and bond that AO is giving us.

I am wondering if there are others here, especially within the D/s dynamic but not limited to that, who experienced something like this particularly in the early days of going AO, and if so how did you and your partner deal with it. She has told me she doesn't want the solution of just fuck her pussy every so often; she wants to find ways to deal with the feelings, and I hope there may be others with much more experience who can offer some advice for us.

Thank you!

[analsexonly]

I think AO as a part of a D/s relationship is becoming a fairly common thing (though it's certainly not limited to D/s relationships). For many, that feeling of neediness and a desire to have her pussy fucked, and then have that desire denied, is the point. Denial is a big kink for a lot of people.

[mr_h99]

That is a good point, and denial has been a powerful tool in other areas; I mentioned she is under orgasm control, and that denial has worked extremely well in deepening her feelings of submission and has become part of the kink. During this transition period to AO, she is struggling with an increased neediness about her pussy being off limits and the benefits of the denial aspect hasn't quite kicked in yet in this area. I wondered if others has similar experiences during their AO transition period and also had insight to share.

Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.

[AnalAnnaLisa]

Hey mr_h99! I am new here, and have only been AO for a month. I'm also in a D/s relationship and I get regular nude spankings. Before AO, when he spanked my twat, it was light and pleasurable. But since AO, he has me spread eagle on my back presenting my pussy. Then he spanks my cunt repeatedly - hard. It's been useful in redirecting my pleasure channels to my ass.

For starters, I have to remain in position presenting my puss even though my pussy is getting destroyed. This demonstrates both my submission to him and my dedication to AO. It also has the added effect of splashing off my sex juice that accumulates fast. If only the ass lubricated itself like the pussy does!

And secondly, about a minute after the pussy spanking, the whole area feels hot and flushed and my pussy feels numb. I am starting to associate this with my pussy fading away and the heat only with the ass fucking that follows.

I'm very happy with how this is working and so is my Dom.

[mr_h99]

Hi Lisa -

This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. Good luck as you continue your AO journey!

[AnalAnnaLisa]

mr_h99 - thank you! Good luck to you as well. It's nice to hear that you and your sub are both on the same page about eliminating pussy play and are looking for ways to accomplish it. Communication is so important!