Intro and Encouragement
Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 11:18 am
Hello! Thought I would post an introduction with some encouragement for men out there seeking anal partners. About me: 38-year-old heterosexual male based in LA. I've loved the idea of anal sex since I first started going through puberty and that love has never faded.
Over the years, I've had anal sex with 5 women, starting when I was 18. That first partner was excited to explore sex with me, and we tried almost everything two people can do together. For anal, we used Vaseline Petroleum Jelly as lube, and that turned out to be a terrible idea that made a big mess. I wouldn't have anal again for about 8 years, despite my desire for it.
Girls I dated in my 20's were not very interested in anal. Looking back, I think they were on the ramp-up on the sexual learning curve; they weren't entirely comfortable exploring their desires, and they feared doing things in the bedroom that might be "slutty," "trashy," or even "perverted." As we all know, these words are mistaken and antiquated, intended to keep women from fully enjoying their sexuality. But this was my experience with them.
By my mid 30's, however, I found women I dated to have a new level of confidence in the bedroom. An unbridled lust for great sex coupled with a huge desire to make their partner feel good. 3 of my last 4 partners had their first anal sex with me, and the 4th had her first experience with anilingus and butt plugs with me. All enjoyed anal stimulation to some extent; a couple of them really loved it!
Today, I'm in a committed, long-term, very lightly D/s relationship with a woman who never had anal sex before but now loves it. We don't yet have anal only -- she's not ready to give up her pussy, and probably never will (that's fine, variety is good!) -- but she has powerful, fantastic orgasms during anal every time. We try to incorporate her ass into all our play, whether through anilingus or plugs if her pussy is the hole of the moment, or through really hard anal pounding (with gapes!) if I'm indulging in my favorite hole. Together, we love our (anal) sex life!
My advice to men looking for your "perfect" anal partner: keep up hope! Look for women who are confident in their sexuality and know what they want in the bedroom, at the same time as they're eager to please their partner (just as you should be eager to please her). You may also have better luck with women who are easy to orgasm or multiorgasmic (as my partner is) because anal sex will help trigger those orgasms. Make her feel comfortable and accepted, even if your anal play results in a "party foul." Make sure she knows how good it feels for you, and how much you appreciate that. She will hopefully associate anal sex with fun, pleasure, great orgasms for herself, and the emotional bond of giving you, her partner, your greatest desires.
Over the years, I've had anal sex with 5 women, starting when I was 18. That first partner was excited to explore sex with me, and we tried almost everything two people can do together. For anal, we used Vaseline Petroleum Jelly as lube, and that turned out to be a terrible idea that made a big mess. I wouldn't have anal again for about 8 years, despite my desire for it.
Girls I dated in my 20's were not very interested in anal. Looking back, I think they were on the ramp-up on the sexual learning curve; they weren't entirely comfortable exploring their desires, and they feared doing things in the bedroom that might be "slutty," "trashy," or even "perverted." As we all know, these words are mistaken and antiquated, intended to keep women from fully enjoying their sexuality. But this was my experience with them.
By my mid 30's, however, I found women I dated to have a new level of confidence in the bedroom. An unbridled lust for great sex coupled with a huge desire to make their partner feel good. 3 of my last 4 partners had their first anal sex with me, and the 4th had her first experience with anilingus and butt plugs with me. All enjoyed anal stimulation to some extent; a couple of them really loved it!
Today, I'm in a committed, long-term, very lightly D/s relationship with a woman who never had anal sex before but now loves it. We don't yet have anal only -- she's not ready to give up her pussy, and probably never will (that's fine, variety is good!) -- but she has powerful, fantastic orgasms during anal every time. We try to incorporate her ass into all our play, whether through anilingus or plugs if her pussy is the hole of the moment, or through really hard anal pounding (with gapes!) if I'm indulging in my favorite hole. Together, we love our (anal) sex life!
My advice to men looking for your "perfect" anal partner: keep up hope! Look for women who are confident in their sexuality and know what they want in the bedroom, at the same time as they're eager to please their partner (just as you should be eager to please her). You may also have better luck with women who are easy to orgasm or multiorgasmic (as my partner is) because anal sex will help trigger those orgasms. Make her feel comfortable and accepted, even if your anal play results in a "party foul." Make sure she knows how good it feels for you, and how much you appreciate that. She will hopefully associate anal sex with fun, pleasure, great orgasms for herself, and the emotional bond of giving you, her partner, your greatest desires.