Anal Only Lifestyle Forum

Hello everyone,

I’ve been lurking here for a while as I’ve always had a fascination and intrigue with anal sex but never understood why. My wife is open to the idea in theory but always shies away from it when we talk more seriously about it. We’ve done it twice where I was extremely gentle and very affectionate and she just couldn’t connect with me on it because it hurt. I’m on the bigger side so I know the need of her building up, but whenever I suggest this she just assumes I’m being selfish and horny when in fact I genuinely feel we could have a great sexual connection that way.

I’ve been out of town all week and am returning to her tomorrow and this has been on my mind. How would you approach your wife if you were in my situation?

Hi. Hard to say really as she probably she has her individual reasons for not coming around to the idea. maybe there is a fear of it. You describe her as open to it in theory. that's good but in theory but in practice the pain is stopping her at the first hurdle.. So in theory, have you raised the idea of her wearing small but plugs to give her sphincters a chance to loosen up a little ? as it might help ..

and as for the act .. I often find that after long periods of anal inactivity, being will lubricated once my sphincters have give up resisting enough for some movement that I get into it far better if my partner pulls all the way out and back in over and over again rather than just some of the way as it trains my sphincters in that moment relax and get use to being full and empty in quick succession


also sometimes a toy can be better in relaxing the sphincters because unlike a penis which is not so solid has skin drag and changes in shape and size
my sphincters know the shape and size coming and with the right material there is less friction the right toy can really get one flowering open.

if she is really open to the idea I would go with getting her a small butt plug and try doing some of what I said and of course really connect with her through communication during the time help as that should help her mind get in the mood

Welcome, Vlaine. I'd keep talking about it more with her, express your desires to her, but also listen to her and her concerns and what she wants. If anal sex hurts for her, you need to start smaller and slower. See if she's interested in introducing some anal play—rimming, fingering, toys—into your routine without making the jump to anal sex just yet, focusing on her pleasure and enjoyment of it and warming her up for more in the future.