Interested, but missing out

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theduke730
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:35 am
Gender: Male

Interested, but missing out

Post by theduke730 » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:23 pm

34/M, and married for two years. I've always had an interest in anal, but have only met a couple women who enjoyed making it a regular part of our relationships, and none of those lasted. I ended up meeting a wonderful woman I fell deeply in love with, and thought we had a lot of potential for sexual variety in the future, but since getting married, things have dried up a lot. We still have sex, somewhat irregularly, and her interest in anything out of the "ordinary" has really gone by the wayside.

She did have some interest in the past, and we've done anal before, but I'm afraid her past experiences weren't very good. I want her to know that I've done my homework, and it's important to me, and help her overcome whatever bad experiences she's had and trust me that I can be a caring lover she can trust, but it's slow going. We may not ever achieve AO, but if I can help her understand how positive and pleasurable it can be, I think a one-month challenge might turn the tide.

Anyway, I hope to be a force of positive encouragement, and I appreciate everyone who shares their stories! Any advice you wonderful people might offer is also always appreciated.

Cheers,

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analsexonly
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Re: Interested, but missing out

Post by analsexonly » Mon Apr 02, 2018 2:27 pm

Welcome, theduke730!

Have you talked with your wife about why her interest in sex has faded and why she's not interested in trying other things sexually anymore? Along the same lines, have you talked with her about anal and told her what you told us here, that you want it to be fun and exciting and feel good for her, and that you want it to be something intimate to share with each other and are willing to take the time for it to be enjoyable at a pace she's comfortable with?

Communication is, as always, key, both to express your own desires and to listen to her own desires and concerns.

theduke730
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:35 am
Gender: Male

Re: Interested, but missing out

Post by theduke730 » Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:10 pm

Thanks for the welcome -- it's most appreciated to have somewhere to come and work through thoughts and how to say things without fear of judgement. It's been helpful to read what other folks have posted here in order to express myself to her.

As for her sexual interest in general, we talk about it, and agree it's something to be worked on and addressed, but so far I haven't seen her prioritize it. That aspect of our relationship is obviously something I don't need to work through here, but reminders about good communication never hurt. I'm hopeful that with dedication, love, and support, she'll see that I'm honest in my hopes as I've stated them, and not just itching for some dirty sex.

Trust, openness, and communication are key! I'll keep that in mind -- appreciate the great community here.

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