Our Journey to (almost) "anal always"
Posted: Wed Sep 25, 2019 12:38 pm
Ok so here goes.
I want to share my anal "adventure" of the past few months that I have shared with my amazing wife. First maybe some extended background.
We are both in our late forties and have been married for ten years and together for fifteen. Both in pretty good shape with active lifestyles. When we met, even before we had slept together I knew she was at least open to anal sex after a cheeky comment she dropped into the conversation (whilst out in a bar) about how men aren't really very good listeners (my attention had drifted a little I think after many drinks!) but how she had noted that you tell a guy you like it in the arse and suddenly they are all ears...... at which point I was all ears!
So we have always had occasional anal and that has been enough to keep me going. I say that because anal is by far the thing that turns me on the most. When I watch porn it is always anal; when I fantasise about sex it is always anal; if I am having vag only sex and need some extra mental stimulation, I imagine I am in her ass. I've been like that since I was in my teens, thirty years ago. Honestly, I am not sure I could have ever gotten into a long relationship with a woman for whom anal is a total no go.
All that said, anal sex has also been a source of tension over the years for us. My wife has always known that it is the thing I really enjoy most and maybe a combination of seeing that as a pressure, a potential "duty" and perhaps seeing it as abnormal for me to place it above vaginal (and perhaps for HER to enjoy it as much as vaginal, when we did it) all created issues. We have had some blazing rows. One time she asked me whether, if I was forced to pick to only fuck her pussy or ass for the rest of our relationship and I told her I'd choose her ass. That really went down like a lead balloon. Blazing row. I was obsessed, weird, devaluing her as a woman etc etc. Another time, years on I bought her one of those gorgeous jewelled butt plugs. Tbh, we had some plugs in our toy drawer which she wore occasionally, this one looked so cute and I had envisaged her face lighting up on seeing it. Massive massive misjudgement. You would have thought I had laid a turd in a velvet box and given her it for Christmas! She told me this was NOT her idea of a present, it was selfish, presumptious, thoughtless, pressuring..... the accusations went on and we had a huge row that lasted hours. Weeks later, she brought up the conversation again and said she had overreacted. She said she wanted to revisit it and that maybe she would try the jewelled plug (she likes to dress up for sex with thigh length stripper heeled boots etc anyway).
Looking back, although it seemed a massive miscalculation, buying that jewelled plug was one of the best moves I ever made. When she tried it she loved how it looked so much she didn't want to take it out for sex and she started to regularly wear butt plug during sex. Ironically, for a period this meant less actual anal penetration for my cock but the feeling for us both was amazing and the fact she was almost always having something up her butt when she came I thought would pay dividends.
So, at this point, around five or six years ago, we seemed to have reached a point where the tensions around sex had largely gone. I think she had both accepted how ass focussed I am and also how much she herself likes it..... and that that is okay and we had found a balance! However, at that point we started a long process of pregnancy and then bringing up a baby coupled with two full time jobs (and a family tragedy - a close relative was murdered by another relative). I think we ended up, for maybe three years, having sex maybe once or twice each year. Seriously.
One interesting fact is that during this period she was masturbating occasionally and would let me know after (I work night shifts) and she would always use a butt plug or stick something up her bum to help bring herself off . That was a turn on for me to hear but also jst felt like she had accepted that this is something that can be as much part of every sex session as vaginal or oral and something that genuinely was not just ok for here but part of what stimulates her.
Anyway, it was only really summer of last year (2018) when we got the chance for some more regular sex. We were managing more than once a week, good hot sessions each time and, despite a certain understandable tension after such a dry spell, no tension around anal penetration and maybe half our sessions involved both me fucking her in her ass (often whilst usng a little vibe on her clit) AND her powerfully getting off to me doing it!
It was last summer that set us up for where we are now. So after the summer, work and work related drama intervened and our opportunites for sex dried up. We discussed "getting back into it" and my wife joked that I was not to expect to do her in the ass every time. My retort was along the lines of "not every time just 75% of the time". She said something then which I canot recall but effectively it was intended to suggest a lower figure but she got her "negotiation" wording phrased back to front and I responded with "ok, you win, 80% it is then!". To my delight, her response was actually to say she had better quit and accept that before it got even higher, lol! So this has become a running "joke" for us, we both lightherteadly quote the "80% target". It is all some fun and no obligation, of course, but I think she feels like me, some pride in actually striking that figure (okay, SHE feels the pride, I just feel a very lucky boy!).
So to the last few months. After the work related stress (my wife lost her job) it killed sex but we got back to it in March. We still haven't fitted as much sex as we would like but our 11 sessions (and they ARE always sessions - when we get the chance we go for it) have been very anally focussed. I think my wife has had something up her ass every single time and on nine of those occasions I have fucked her in her ass (usually after fucking her pussy whilst she has had a plug of two or three of my fingers up her ass). It has been amazing for me. She is amazing. At one point we were counting and it was 6 sessions, four of which I had fucked her anally and we were both joking each time from then about how the next times had to all incude anal to "make the percentage" because she had used up her "get out of anal free" cards! All in good fun and so far from the tensions of years back.
She is now really relaxed anally and I can penetrate her ass almost as casually as her pussy and fuck her just as hard and deep that way.
We have made some advances elsewhere as well. We have tried vaginal fisting a few times, which has turned us both on. That is something that is right at her limit but in many ways that is what makes it so exciting: it takes so much time, trust and patience and then my hand just (and I mean JUST) can fit inside her.
Then last week, on our last encounter, for probably the frst time, she properly sucked my cock straight out of her ass. I'm getting stiff typing about it tbh. This is something the thought of which I have always found very arousing (and she has known that for a long time).
Over the years she has maybe two or three times sucked me a little during or after anal. Once was very quickly just to lube my cock a bit more before she sat her ass back on me. Another time was when she needed a pee break mid anal and as she sat on the toilet peeing she sucked me before stopping and saying she had forgotten where it had just been! The last encounter was different. The background is that she goes down the gym a lot and doesn't like me to come in her ass as it presents a leak hazard (we fuck in the afternoon which is when our little boy is at school!). This is absolutely fine by me. I love for her to bring me off on her face or in her mouth anyway. Traditionally though, after anal, I would come on her boobs etc. Anyway, when she mentioned the gym issue (back in March, after the first of our encounters this years when I HAD come in her ass) I agreed to come elsewhere and never in her ass. Then a couple of months ago I specified I'd prefer to come in her mouth than on her boobs, stomach etc etc. She wasn't immediately happy with that and assumed I meant I was suggesting my cock actually going in her mouth. I said to her I didn't expect her to suck me but that I'd just shoot into her mouth when it was my time to come. So I will be honest and admit I was playing a little hopeful psychological game here, hoping that if she had my cock close to her mouth she would become comfy with the idea and end up sucking me of her own volition, probably after I came. So a couple of times I jerked myself the couple of necessary strokes into her mouth and onto her tongue. Then, the second to last time, she went to suck the tip as I was coming and I held her head back as, pretty unusually, there was a bit of squidgy shit and lube on the head of my cock. I laughed afterwards and explained to her why I had stopped her sucking me and she took it briliantly, saw the funny side and genuinely seemed to appreciate what I had done.
So, this last time, as I got closer to coming I fucked her ass extra hard and deep and then we quickly scrambled off the bed and she got on her knees in front of me. I gave her control to bring me off herself and she just went for it, licking the head as she wanked me off then as I came she took me in her mouth and sucked me clean (I was not visibly unclean this time, just glistening with lube). Then she started with a bit of dirty talk letting me know that she knew what she had just done. The last part, we went to the bathroom to clear up (after a quick kiss and hug) and as she went to put some tissues down the toilet she bent forward and explicity asked me to put it back in her arse one last time, while I was still a bit hard, because she wanted to suck it out her ass again!
For me this is a new heaven. All this anal and now she is doing this other thing she knows turns me on. Clearly doing it turned her on and it also opens up anal sex a bit. Before, anal was a one way train. Vaginal and anal could follow oral; oral or anal could follow vaginal but anal was always (for that session) a road of no return.
Not sure where things progress from here. Tbh, if nothing ever evolved or went further but stayed like this I'd be more than happy anyway. I know this is an "anal only" forum but I am not sure that is a path we will end up down. It isn't a massive desire for me ayway, I'd love it to be "anal always" but doesn't need to be "anal only". That said, if she decided that she wanted to go that path, whilst I may miss vaginal as an alternative if we never did it, probably the sheer erotic thrill of knowing that when we fuck it is always and only in her ass would overpower that. I cannot see that though: she enjoys vaginal sex a lot especially as it is almost always now with a plug up her ass and a little vibe on her clit.
As for the ass to mouth, I will just have to see where that goes. She seemed very enthusiastic and relaxed and I can see that becoming regular. I hope she becomes happy with it mid fuck and not just when I come as that opens up an array of possibilities for us to mix things up (though she is very infection conscious vaginally so whether she will trust I am clean enough to go anal-oral-vaginal I mnot sure....but I caan hope!). Also, I won't hold her back if she wants to take me in her mouth on those occasions where I am not quite so clean..... but that needs to be her decision. I think the idea of her "cleaning my cock" arouses her but this is her limit and I respect that. If she chooses to do that it will be with my cock in her hand with her in control, it won't be me tricking her into it or allowing her to do it blindly.
Sorry this is so long. I have browsed and lurked this forum for a year or two and enjoyed reading other people's situations and thought others may find my experiences interesting
Maybe for some people to see how we have advanced even after years of marriage to a place where we are BOTH happier; that our desires have come closer together and how my wife has become comfy with the idea that she is aroused by something that isn't "how you are supposed to do it", even if that has been a rocky journey, will be good for them to hear.
I want to share my anal "adventure" of the past few months that I have shared with my amazing wife. First maybe some extended background.
We are both in our late forties and have been married for ten years and together for fifteen. Both in pretty good shape with active lifestyles. When we met, even before we had slept together I knew she was at least open to anal sex after a cheeky comment she dropped into the conversation (whilst out in a bar) about how men aren't really very good listeners (my attention had drifted a little I think after many drinks!) but how she had noted that you tell a guy you like it in the arse and suddenly they are all ears...... at which point I was all ears!
So we have always had occasional anal and that has been enough to keep me going. I say that because anal is by far the thing that turns me on the most. When I watch porn it is always anal; when I fantasise about sex it is always anal; if I am having vag only sex and need some extra mental stimulation, I imagine I am in her ass. I've been like that since I was in my teens, thirty years ago. Honestly, I am not sure I could have ever gotten into a long relationship with a woman for whom anal is a total no go.
All that said, anal sex has also been a source of tension over the years for us. My wife has always known that it is the thing I really enjoy most and maybe a combination of seeing that as a pressure, a potential "duty" and perhaps seeing it as abnormal for me to place it above vaginal (and perhaps for HER to enjoy it as much as vaginal, when we did it) all created issues. We have had some blazing rows. One time she asked me whether, if I was forced to pick to only fuck her pussy or ass for the rest of our relationship and I told her I'd choose her ass. That really went down like a lead balloon. Blazing row. I was obsessed, weird, devaluing her as a woman etc etc. Another time, years on I bought her one of those gorgeous jewelled butt plugs. Tbh, we had some plugs in our toy drawer which she wore occasionally, this one looked so cute and I had envisaged her face lighting up on seeing it. Massive massive misjudgement. You would have thought I had laid a turd in a velvet box and given her it for Christmas! She told me this was NOT her idea of a present, it was selfish, presumptious, thoughtless, pressuring..... the accusations went on and we had a huge row that lasted hours. Weeks later, she brought up the conversation again and said she had overreacted. She said she wanted to revisit it and that maybe she would try the jewelled plug (she likes to dress up for sex with thigh length stripper heeled boots etc anyway).
Looking back, although it seemed a massive miscalculation, buying that jewelled plug was one of the best moves I ever made. When she tried it she loved how it looked so much she didn't want to take it out for sex and she started to regularly wear butt plug during sex. Ironically, for a period this meant less actual anal penetration for my cock but the feeling for us both was amazing and the fact she was almost always having something up her butt when she came I thought would pay dividends.
So, at this point, around five or six years ago, we seemed to have reached a point where the tensions around sex had largely gone. I think she had both accepted how ass focussed I am and also how much she herself likes it..... and that that is okay and we had found a balance! However, at that point we started a long process of pregnancy and then bringing up a baby coupled with two full time jobs (and a family tragedy - a close relative was murdered by another relative). I think we ended up, for maybe three years, having sex maybe once or twice each year. Seriously.
One interesting fact is that during this period she was masturbating occasionally and would let me know after (I work night shifts) and she would always use a butt plug or stick something up her bum to help bring herself off . That was a turn on for me to hear but also jst felt like she had accepted that this is something that can be as much part of every sex session as vaginal or oral and something that genuinely was not just ok for here but part of what stimulates her.
Anyway, it was only really summer of last year (2018) when we got the chance for some more regular sex. We were managing more than once a week, good hot sessions each time and, despite a certain understandable tension after such a dry spell, no tension around anal penetration and maybe half our sessions involved both me fucking her in her ass (often whilst usng a little vibe on her clit) AND her powerfully getting off to me doing it!
It was last summer that set us up for where we are now. So after the summer, work and work related drama intervened and our opportunites for sex dried up. We discussed "getting back into it" and my wife joked that I was not to expect to do her in the ass every time. My retort was along the lines of "not every time just 75% of the time". She said something then which I canot recall but effectively it was intended to suggest a lower figure but she got her "negotiation" wording phrased back to front and I responded with "ok, you win, 80% it is then!". To my delight, her response was actually to say she had better quit and accept that before it got even higher, lol! So this has become a running "joke" for us, we both lightherteadly quote the "80% target". It is all some fun and no obligation, of course, but I think she feels like me, some pride in actually striking that figure (okay, SHE feels the pride, I just feel a very lucky boy!).
So to the last few months. After the work related stress (my wife lost her job) it killed sex but we got back to it in March. We still haven't fitted as much sex as we would like but our 11 sessions (and they ARE always sessions - when we get the chance we go for it) have been very anally focussed. I think my wife has had something up her ass every single time and on nine of those occasions I have fucked her in her ass (usually after fucking her pussy whilst she has had a plug of two or three of my fingers up her ass). It has been amazing for me. She is amazing. At one point we were counting and it was 6 sessions, four of which I had fucked her anally and we were both joking each time from then about how the next times had to all incude anal to "make the percentage" because she had used up her "get out of anal free" cards! All in good fun and so far from the tensions of years back.
She is now really relaxed anally and I can penetrate her ass almost as casually as her pussy and fuck her just as hard and deep that way.
We have made some advances elsewhere as well. We have tried vaginal fisting a few times, which has turned us both on. That is something that is right at her limit but in many ways that is what makes it so exciting: it takes so much time, trust and patience and then my hand just (and I mean JUST) can fit inside her.
Then last week, on our last encounter, for probably the frst time, she properly sucked my cock straight out of her ass. I'm getting stiff typing about it tbh. This is something the thought of which I have always found very arousing (and she has known that for a long time).
Over the years she has maybe two or three times sucked me a little during or after anal. Once was very quickly just to lube my cock a bit more before she sat her ass back on me. Another time was when she needed a pee break mid anal and as she sat on the toilet peeing she sucked me before stopping and saying she had forgotten where it had just been! The last encounter was different. The background is that she goes down the gym a lot and doesn't like me to come in her ass as it presents a leak hazard (we fuck in the afternoon which is when our little boy is at school!). This is absolutely fine by me. I love for her to bring me off on her face or in her mouth anyway. Traditionally though, after anal, I would come on her boobs etc. Anyway, when she mentioned the gym issue (back in March, after the first of our encounters this years when I HAD come in her ass) I agreed to come elsewhere and never in her ass. Then a couple of months ago I specified I'd prefer to come in her mouth than on her boobs, stomach etc etc. She wasn't immediately happy with that and assumed I meant I was suggesting my cock actually going in her mouth. I said to her I didn't expect her to suck me but that I'd just shoot into her mouth when it was my time to come. So I will be honest and admit I was playing a little hopeful psychological game here, hoping that if she had my cock close to her mouth she would become comfy with the idea and end up sucking me of her own volition, probably after I came. So a couple of times I jerked myself the couple of necessary strokes into her mouth and onto her tongue. Then, the second to last time, she went to suck the tip as I was coming and I held her head back as, pretty unusually, there was a bit of squidgy shit and lube on the head of my cock. I laughed afterwards and explained to her why I had stopped her sucking me and she took it briliantly, saw the funny side and genuinely seemed to appreciate what I had done.
So, this last time, as I got closer to coming I fucked her ass extra hard and deep and then we quickly scrambled off the bed and she got on her knees in front of me. I gave her control to bring me off herself and she just went for it, licking the head as she wanked me off then as I came she took me in her mouth and sucked me clean (I was not visibly unclean this time, just glistening with lube). Then she started with a bit of dirty talk letting me know that she knew what she had just done. The last part, we went to the bathroom to clear up (after a quick kiss and hug) and as she went to put some tissues down the toilet she bent forward and explicity asked me to put it back in her arse one last time, while I was still a bit hard, because she wanted to suck it out her ass again!
For me this is a new heaven. All this anal and now she is doing this other thing she knows turns me on. Clearly doing it turned her on and it also opens up anal sex a bit. Before, anal was a one way train. Vaginal and anal could follow oral; oral or anal could follow vaginal but anal was always (for that session) a road of no return.
Not sure where things progress from here. Tbh, if nothing ever evolved or went further but stayed like this I'd be more than happy anyway. I know this is an "anal only" forum but I am not sure that is a path we will end up down. It isn't a massive desire for me ayway, I'd love it to be "anal always" but doesn't need to be "anal only". That said, if she decided that she wanted to go that path, whilst I may miss vaginal as an alternative if we never did it, probably the sheer erotic thrill of knowing that when we fuck it is always and only in her ass would overpower that. I cannot see that though: she enjoys vaginal sex a lot especially as it is almost always now with a plug up her ass and a little vibe on her clit.
As for the ass to mouth, I will just have to see where that goes. She seemed very enthusiastic and relaxed and I can see that becoming regular. I hope she becomes happy with it mid fuck and not just when I come as that opens up an array of possibilities for us to mix things up (though she is very infection conscious vaginally so whether she will trust I am clean enough to go anal-oral-vaginal I mnot sure....but I caan hope!). Also, I won't hold her back if she wants to take me in her mouth on those occasions where I am not quite so clean..... but that needs to be her decision. I think the idea of her "cleaning my cock" arouses her but this is her limit and I respect that. If she chooses to do that it will be with my cock in her hand with her in control, it won't be me tricking her into it or allowing her to do it blindly.
Sorry this is so long. I have browsed and lurked this forum for a year or two and enjoyed reading other people's situations and thought others may find my experiences interesting
Maybe for some people to see how we have advanced even after years of marriage to a place where we are BOTH happier; that our desires have come closer together and how my wife has become comfy with the idea that she is aroused by something that isn't "how you are supposed to do it", even if that has been a rocky journey, will be good for them to hear.