- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:25 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Rio de Janeiro, RJ
Since I entered puberty, around 12-13, and started to have my first sexual feelings and fantasies, I noticed something odd about me. Female butts were a big turn on for me, but pussy thoughts were not that exciting at the same time. It's hard to explain it, but maybe it's a visual thing. In my mind, when I picture a woman naked, I always imagine her from the behind first. For me, a pussy looks like a butt, but kind of atrophied. And a butt looks like a pussy, but big, better, rounder, squishier, and so it goes on.
Soon I also noticed, when talking about women with my friends, they didn't relate the same way to the female body. Butts and assholes were still important parts of female anatomy to many of them, but not with such intense focus like me. It made me feel quite a freak too. It doesn't help that, when you search the internet about it, there's no short supply of people saying it's a sign of closeted homossexuality if you're a man that like to have anal sex with women. I never felt like that. Men don't turn me on. Never did. Women turn me on. It's just that, from all places, I enjoy them having me inside their butts the most. I'm just like that, its a part of me.
I'm no sweet talker. I'm a very shy person, and had only 3 girlfriends my entire life, so far. I didn't refrain from giving them oral or vaginal pleasure, but unfortunately none of them were into anal while it lasted, so the only way I could realize it was by means of sex workers later. I'm not proud of it, but at some point I did the maths. Say only about 1% of the heterossexual population are really into anal (my guesstimate), and are open to a anal only, or at least anal mainly lifestyle. The odds of a matching couple forming spontaneously, by blind chance, are 1%x1%, or 1/10000 (one in ten thousand). A very low probability. I'm in mid 30s, so I decided not to risk wasting my youth not enjoying the sex I like the most.
Now the pandemic prompted a lot of soul searching by me. A thought crossed my mind a few weeks ago, that it would be a shame if I were unlucky to get COVID-19 and die of it now, never finding a partner just like me, or at least trying my best towards it. This led me to search the web for people like me once again, after several years of not really trying, and here I am. I expected to find through some google-fu a few people like me in isolate comments scattered across the web, but instead I found a entire forum dedicated to it, full of like-minded people, from all over the world. It's amazing. Now I don't feel quite that alien anymore. Hope more people find this forum, just like I did. Trying to keep my expectations low, but if the community grows, with some luck, maybe I can even meet my soulmate here. Surely better than a one in ten thousand shot.
Nice to meet you all!